dont know what to do

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- cosmicdancer
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #30 - June 19, 2010, 12:23 PM

Quote from: hidden12 on June 19, 2010, 12:19 AM
hi im sort of scared posting here since im still a muslim, though i have thought of leaving many times.

All i want is someone to maybe have a chat with since i guess theres allot of people here that will understand where im coming from.

heres how it is... lets just say i am/was (dont really know where i stand) a good muslim? I do have a open mind yet i wont be convinced to easily.

another question were here any of you good practicing muslims before? i dont mean just like offer some salahs fast sometimes etc i mean like full practicing as in 5x, fast all the time good knowledge of the deen. Dress if u were a woman in hijab and jilbab or if you are male then in white traditional arab dress?

Welcome hidden12

Yes I was very devout and religious - you can read my story in my sig. below.
- abdalwali
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #31 - June 19, 2010, 12:39 PM

I think I was pretty devout for several years. Felt that spiritual high in Ramadan, although in later years would rock up to tarawih stoned with another brother who smoked. I remember once we went to the mosque and we were the only ones there. We were stoned and the brother started the prayers with me behind. But it was Maghrib and then loads of people started piling in. I was so nervous for him but he was alright. But that's an aside. I was never a regular 5-times prayer. Usually four. Fajr was usually too hard for me to wake up and do, especially in winter. But sometimes I even went to the mosque for fajr. I would always take time off from uni or work to pray and grew a full beard and trimmed the moustache. I felt pretty good during the early years of Islam. I felt love. Never felt hate. Everything worships Allah according to the Qur'an so I felt like life was one beautiful acid trip. Twas nice.

The language of the mob was only the language of public opinion cleansed of hypocrisy and restraint - Hannah Arendt.
- cosmicdancer
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #32 - June 19, 2010, 12:42 PM

Quote from: abdalwali on June 19, 2010, 12:39 PM
I remember once we went to the mosque and we were the only ones there. We were stoned and the brother started the prayers with me behind. But it was Maghrib and then loads of people started piling in. I was so nervous for him but he was alright.
- Iraqi Atheist
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #33 - June 19, 2010, 02:41 PM

Quote from: BlackDog on June 19, 2010, 09:23 AM
Yes I was a devout muslim believe it or not. Prayed 5x times a day and always tried to pray on time, including fajr. I fasted every Ramadan. I made up for late and missed prayers. I listened to the Quran, duaa, I would sabah. I would say a quick prayer every time I went out of the house. I ate halal meat, stayed away from sex. And was planning to marry a muslim woman and go to Hajj.

Wow. What a waste. You have this great comedic talent but you couldn't utilize it and improve yourself because of Islam.

Personally, I was NEVER that devout.
- King Koopa
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #34 - June 19, 2010, 07:20 PM

Quote from: Iraqi Atheist on June 19, 2010, 02:41 PM
Wow. What a waste. You have this great comedic talent but you couldn't utilize it and improve yourself because of Islam.

Personally, I was NEVER that devout.

thanks it's cool though, I'm glad I've had the experience, at least I know I can be very disciplined if I want to be.
- hidden12
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #35 - June 22, 2010, 12:27 AM

guys i dont understand one thing, maybe im wrong...but as some of you were devout muslims as to say. How did u feel leaving the thing you believed was the truth? i mean did it not break you inside? how could you move on...?
- Luthiel
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #36 - June 22, 2010, 12:39 AM

Once I realized that my belief was no more than a fairy tale, I only felt stupid and betrayed. But mostly stupid, for having believed it in the first place. I regretted the time and effort I had wasted on being a Muslim, but the belief itself no longer held anything for me... no desire or interest. I simply wanted to move on. Kind of like after having experienced excruciating pain, and then the pain is relieved... you remember the pain but it no longer has any effect on you whatsoever.

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- allat
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #37 - June 22, 2010, 04:15 AM

Quote from: hidden12 on June 22, 2010, 12:27 AM
guys i dont understand one thing, maybe im wrong...but as some of you were devout muslims as to say. How did u feel leaving the thing you believed was the truth? i mean did it not break you inside? how could you move on...?

It is heartbreaking at first... the change, any change brings about phases including denial, trying to negotiate, anger, sadness and acceptance. What helped me was exploring what else was out there, what other philosophies and religions and myths and belief systems were out there that people believed in. I studied other religions - A LOT. Everything from ancient Egyptian religions/pantheons to the ancient Greeks', Sumerians', Celtic, Hindu religions, Buddhism and its branches, and I tried to remember that each religion's believers believe *as strongly, earnestly and deeply* that their path is the correct one. I also studied Philosophy, especially Greek/European and Chinese and other Asian philosophers. It all helped me understand some things about myself and the world.

"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
- cosmicdancer
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #38 - June 22, 2010, 08:56 AM

Quote from: hidden12 on June 22, 2010, 12:27 AM
guys i dont understand one thing, maybe im wrong...but as some of you were devout muslims as to say. How did u feel leaving the thing you believed was the truth? i mean did it not break you inside? how could you move on...?

It was - and is - hard.

I think the ties to family and community and the security and sense of meaning and comfort that brings is what keeps many who doubt the actual beliefs - clinging on.

But in the end I had to choose between being true to myself or living a lie in exchange for comfort and keeping others happy.

It's a difficult choice and I don't blame anyone for not wanting to lose their comfort, family, community and sense of meaning and belonging.
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #39 - June 22, 2010, 08:56 AM

Quote from: hidden12 on June 22, 2010, 12:27 AM
guys i dont understand one thing, maybe im wrong...but as some of you were devout muslims as to say. How did u feel leaving the thing you believed was the truth? i mean did it not break you inside? how could you move on...?

By the time I did it, I found it a relief. Like lifting this huge albatross of my neck, but also slightly nervous about what I had just done.

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- kero-zen
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Re: dont know what to do
Reply #40 - June 22, 2010, 09:44 AM

hy hidden12 and welcome, i was born muslim, i think i was a good muslim, but not a very good one either, i always tried to look at islam my way, i was doing the 5 prayers and ramadan, as islam wasn't compatible with my way of thinking i tried to convince myself that an "liberal islam" could exists so i began to look seriously at the qu'ran and hadith and then i lost all hope so i felt good when i left islam cause i finally felt free to think by myself, i expained my story on another post, and i will explain more later.
Quote from: IsLame on June 19, 2010, 12:35 AM
You dont have to make your mind up, or fit nicely into any camp here. We even have Lutherian Christians on this site sitting alongside satan worshippers.

Really satanists!!! when i lost faith i thought of becoming a satanist, i red the satanic bible of Lavey and liked it, lol but as i said i prefer not to fit any belief and take what i like from everything.

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. "
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. "
--Buddha
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