Guys from the Middle East have a communicationhandicap with the opposite sex, writes 20-year old Negin Bazrafkan.
By Negin Bazrafkan
If I smile at a 2.-generation immigrant (henceforth 2.g) in the street, he may shout:
'She looks at me, Wallah, she wants me'.
'Eow Qur'an, did you see her la, she shuffed* mega much ...«. (*Note by Paloma : I don´t know what this means, must be 2.g language)
She fucks me with her eyes ... are you crazyyyy, I´ll do her ...«.
To you 2.-g 's and men from the Middle East who have a communicationhandicap with the opposite sex: Some of you unfortunately confuse ordinary communication and eye contact with extreme flirting.
If I happen to turn around in the street and get eye contact with a random immigrant boy, it may be interpreted as if I'm Sister Lascivious ogling my next sex victim.
I'm sorry to say it, but more than half of the men with my own background misunderstand a smile.
I was recently contacted by my friend who said that his friend had seen me. He wanted my phone number because he thought I was promiscuous because I smiled.
Another sad episode was when a man looked at me and said, "Only whores laugh loudly in public."
This statement has been thrown at me several times over the last few years.
The first time I thought: Oh well he's just an ignorant blockhead. But after hundreds of times I have found the poor opinion 2.g´s have of women, their gaze and their laughter, worrying.
It is so stressful that you overinterpret a glance or a smile. There is a need to boost the positive integration, and it starts with ourselves.
How can you expect the Danes to understand us better when we do not even understand each other?
It is a bigger problem than it might seem.
Not only does it mean significant gaps in integration, but how is communication between Danes and 2.-g 's improved when many of you have a problematic view of women of all nationalities?
There's not much positive change, and that is because no one talks about it or realize how bad it really is. It is a serious problem.
I usually smile at strangers or types that catch my attention in a positive or inspiring way and also get eye contact, because I love it.
The downside is just that not everyone understands who I am.
It's nice that I can smile at most Danish guys and get a warm smile back instead of a vulgar look , unlike many of you ethnic boys and men who think I'm a whore because I choose to spread positivity on the street.
It's really odd, but I rarely experience that Danish boys misinterpret me.
This criticism does not apply to all of you ethnic boys, but you know yourselves that it exists and it gets worse and worse. Maybe it's something in the culture, maybe not.
It is probably linked with the fact that it is not 'nice' for a woman to be too outgoing, smiling and contact-making, since in the Middle East it is sometimes interpretated the wrong way.
Here is a small dictionary for you 2.-g-boys who misunderstand:
• No, if a woman laughs, it does not mean that she is promiscuous. It is quite normal.
• No, if she looks at you, it does not necessarily mean that she wants you. Maybe she looks because she thinks you're ugly, look familiar or something else. It may also be because she is an observant type, or get eye contact unconsciously.
• No, if she smiles, it is not always = personal contact. She could possibly be a smiling girl who wants a smile back.
• No, if she looks at you, it does not mean that she is horny and wants to get laid. A thief believes that everybody steals. If you yourself may only look or smile when you are sexually interested, it does not mean that every woman is like this ! And to you girls out there: I know, unfortunately, many of you do not dare laugh and smile, because you are afraid of what people in the immigrant community will think about you.
But let your hair down! To hell with other people's negative thoughts! Proove that you can smile, laugh and look at people, without it meaning that you have ulterior motives!
The more it gets done, the more the men will stop misinterpretating it.
The problem is, if we women are silent, then the mindset of the young men and boys will not evolve.
In Denmark it is considered polite to smile if you happen to get eye contact with somebody in the street or supermarket, so she is well integrated. As the saying goes, smile at the world and the world smiles back at you.
I once saw a program on the telly about some women in Jordan who had formed a women´s club. One of the women interviewed said, that it was such a relief coming there, she could act naturally and laugh out loud if she felt like it.
http://i.pol.dk/debat/article1102374.eceEdit : add link
Topic: "You misunderstand my smile '