Re: on the edge..
Reply #71 - January 09, 2012, 04:05 AM
Hey, yo, bella...
Um I don't think this is complex as some people are making it to be-- your parents seem to love you but are acting like hypocritical, irrational, bullying assholes. It's quite common. You don't actually have to have unloving, abusive or shitty parents for them to act like dicks. And while the whole Desi and Muslim thing brings its own unique complications to your situation I'm sure, trust me when I say there are plenty of Western white Christian or secular parents who take the same hypocritical stance as well as the tried-and-true "While under our roof, you'll abide by our rules and it doesn't matter if you think it's fair or not" attitude.
I'm saying this cause if they do want to kick you out, well, I understand it hurts, but at the same time, it's not all that unusual, nor does it mean they don't love you-- just means they're stubborn dickheads and have character flaws like everyone else-- so try not to um "take it personally," as stupid as me saying not to "take it personally" may seem. If they do kick you out, fuckin roll with it, you're 21, right? You have supportive brothers, a serious boyfriend, and are a smart chick, you can fuckin manage and that may be for the best after all, ya know?
Couple of other points comin kinda late to the party here:
1. If this situation comes up again, just fuckin lie, it's easier. Say you're staying at his parents house or at a female friend's house or something. Not the approach I take but I'm an obnoxious asshole. For someone nice like you it's a way of taking the path of least resistance to doing what you want to.
2. Panic attacks. Yeah, I know something about this. Used to have them frequently, albeit for much different reasons (but stress is stress, ya know?). First developed in my late 20s, would come out of nowhere while I was just chillin and would knock me the fuck out for several hours. Went to the ER twice and had lots of tests run before I figured out it was psychological. Anyhow, first line for that is benzodiazepenes, like the Klonopin you're taking. They will end the panic attacks, but they also have the potential of just knocking you out in general.
I'd suggest investigating other, non-benzo/non-sedative meds for panic attacks. SSRIs are common for that, though you may have to experiment with a few different kinds until you find one that works with minimum of side effects. I'm on Prozac now and very rarely have panic attacks as a result. There are also azapirones which work on the same neuroreceptor as MDMA/Ecstasy, and do not have the dependance or sedative issues of benzos-- I tried buspirone but it caused me to have uncontrollable rage so I quit it but works for other people without such issues. Point being look for alternatives to the benzos-- you don't wanna be on that shit for too long.
fuck you
Topic: on the edge..