[[ WARNING THERE MIGHT BE TYPOS XD]]
Hey guys I'm a super newbie here, and a bit out of place since I've never been Muslim '__' but I love doing research about Islam and about religion in general. I'm not kidding when I tell you, doing research on Islam made me look at my own faith and realize that religion in general is a bunch of bullshit.
A bit about meSo I'm 22 years old. I grew up in the Caribbean and have always considered myself an outcast. You know one of those typical kids that always get picked on and shunned. And that's how I found comfort by being artist yay ^_^;, ain't that how it all starts! I have to say I've been really influenced by my dad who was never really religious, but loves to contemplate our existence based on the laws of the universe and science, you know the bigger picture. However, my moms, my biological mom is a hardcore Methodist and my stepmother is a hardcore Catholic. I was baptised once when I was born and again when my dad remarried to my step-mom, HA like that did anything to my faith :p I did communion went to Sunday school and memorized the Hail Mary and all those bullshit hymns and prays. It was all mindless and the concept of God and faith really didn't do anything to me. I mean I believe that I've been blessed, I mean I've been fortunate to this point in my life to be meet good people, live a really comfortable life, my father gives me practically anything I ask for cause I'm an only child etc. I've always tried to be good in my heart and my dad says that's why I've been blessed. Like the kids who picked on me at school and call me names, I'd still offer them my snacks when they had none. So I had never affiliated my good fortune with God. I believed I created my own luck.
Learning about IslamI have never really talked to a Muslim face to face in my life. No joke. But I've been completely engrossed with learning about Islam and the different cultures that surround it. Well I have this story stuck in my head. When I say stuck, I mean for the past
9 years I've had these two characters Joseph and Yusra in my head. I think I was infatuated with the idea of the whole ultimate forbidden love thing Jew x Muslim, but mostly I wanted to make a story promoting the idea of peace between two people who should be destined enemies. I'm also a news junkie so watching the horrors that happen in the middle east perked my interest and inspired me a lot. This story in my head just would not go away, everyday I was just coming up with scenes and ideas, I could not forget about it. So I eventually felt like I was destined to write about them. So last year when I had enough confidence in my art I seriously wrote this manga style comic. However, in order to make the story believable I did ALOT of research. I wanted to get into Yusra's head, as if I was Muslim myself. I liked reading blogs and personal experiences because I wanted to make Yusra human, not some robotic 'perfect' Muslimah. I went to all the Hijabi, Muslim pride websites etc. etc.
Now the funny part... for my story I wanted to get some positive quotes from the Qu'ran that Yusra could recite proudly somewhere in my story.
So I found the Qu'ran online and started combing through it.... I got tired after reading the first section which was like Praise Alah over and over again. There was no real substance to it. it was all Allah is great, Allah is merciful Allah is this and that. That droned on way too long so I kinda gave up. So I decided to just jump to some random part of it...And I came across the whole a husband can have 4 wives thing and that a woman's testimony is like half of a man's and all that nonsense... The more I did some research on the Qu'ran I could not find NOTHING positive and inspirational. It was all of the ugliness Muhammad had did, and how women were treated like crap. The only thing that was promoted all the time was how great Allah was...I went on pro-Islam sites and reasons why I should be Muslim. The same thing, Allah is Great, Allah must be feared, Allah this and Allah that. x__x for an educated person like myself it was all too mindless. Muhammad didn't do anything positive, he just conformed and massacred a bunch of people. I was especially pissed off when I wanted Yusra to play the guitar and I came across that Islam forbids music. WTF, Islam is like the ONLY religion/ culture that prohibits music in the world, (or so much as has debates about it). I thought that was a load of bullshit. Yusra still plays guitar ayway.
So as I read about Islam and how devote and blind someone could be to something like that, made me realize that religion in general was a bunch of bullshit. I hated the concept that everyone worships different God/s and that only one group of people theoretically get to go to heaven and even then within your own group sometimes your not seen as heaven worthy. Which again, what the hell is heaven anyway? Floating around with wings in the clouds for all eternity... that does not sound like a good time to me. You die you go to heaven and then what? Nothing? My idea of heaven is not what the Bible or anything else describes.. it's what the people of the day wanted.. gold, virgins whatever. Walking down a road paved with gold is not impressive by anyone in this day and age.
I can at least say the least that I still kinda support Christianity, not in a worshiping sort of sense, but I believe Jesus had an good theology. Jesus never obsessed over material things or killed anyone, he only healed and walked around like a hippie. I admired the way he lived his life as a human being, not as some divine entity, which I believe was exaggerated. Just like the whole dying and being resurrected I think that's some fantasy someone included.
I consider myself agnostic because I like the idea behind the Bible, just the church and the rituals piss me off.
Couple things that make me doubt religion- Everyone believes in different things and claims they are right. This just isn't fair. If you look at religious demographics worldwide, Christianity which is majority is only 33% that is only 1/3... what about the other 2/3 people?
- No one ever died and came back to testify what 'heaven' is.
- I don't like the concepts of heaven to me :/ sounds boring and lame.
- There is disagreement within each religion. With Islam you have Sunni Shite, in Christianity you have well.. I'm not even going to list. No one can freaking agree on one thing.
- Religious inspired violence. Anything can be justified under God. That's all I can say about that.
- Arrogance that comes with being religious. There always seems to be that sense of I'm God's favorite, and I am above you.
- I doubt good intentions within religions. Are people just doing good deeds to get points with God, to just make themselves feel good? Hardly anyone does something good expecting nothing in return or aboslutely no recognition... Religious people also seem to concentrate their efforts on being charitable only towards those of the same belief or those they feel they can convert. That just sucks.
- How is the existence of God any different from Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. The whole concept of God just sounded make believe to me. You can't seem him but you can feel him. :/ Same could be said for.. well anything imagined in your head.
- Also how are we so sure God is a He? Then again.... God must be a male a woman could never fuck this bad :p
- I don't see how religious rituals are any different from rituals practiced by cavemen? The whole concept just seems stupid. Praying in a certain way, at a certain time? For what?
- What's the whole point of being created and tested? Why aren't we just born in heaven to begin with. Is it some sick joke God is playing with us?
- I feel miracles are created by people not God. The mind is a powerful thing, you see what you want to see, you hear what you want to hear, and if you believe enough in anything it can happen.
- Why does bad things happen to good people? No matter how holy or religious you are does not spare you misfortune any less from the next guy.
Right now I like doing religious paintings on commentary about Christianity, and the Israel Palestinian conflict. :p
If anything religion is good for, is for keep people in check. But it's not for me
. I mean I'm sure I follow some codes of conduct by many religious standards. however that does not make me apart of them. I can have morals and have a common sense of what's right and wrong without a religious affiliation, and that's it..
Topic: Learning about Islam made me leave Christianity