How should I cut off my parents?

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- BreakerofVows
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How should I cut off my parents?
OP - December 29, 2017, 09:53 AM

Long story short, I'm an ex-Muslim + agnostic and I ran away from home about a month and a half ago. Generally, I'm safe and secure. But I feel things are unexpectedly frustrating my journey to being free and it's affecting my mental health and wellbeing.

My parents don't have my email and I'm not on social media. However, I kept my old number as I didn't want to immediately lose contact with them. Inside of me, I thought maybe they would change their ways and we could maintain low-level communication with one another. I was also trying to be strategic i.e. what tactics would they use to try and track me down? What if they were going to threaten me and such? I'd rather have some evidence of that to use against them if necessary.

I've recently progressed from texting them to also talking to them on the phone. Truthfully, I regret maintaining even low-level contact with them. I've now realized I'm just making things worse for myself and probably leading them along. The whole point of me running away was to begin afresh with newfound independence and enjoy the ability to have my own free will without fear of repercussions.

Over the phone, I've been so emotional and also found it difficult to say anything to them. I told them I'm no longer part of religion, I didn't like Islam and I don't like them too (lots of personal family issues I won't get into). I got a 2-hour character assassination that was typical of manipulative narcissist/sociopath freaks. It was probably the most breathtakingly insulting knockdown in my life.

Another time, I mustered the courage to ask them why they hated Jews and whether they thought it was right to kill people if they leave their religion. In both cases, they were adamant that despising Jews was necessary and crystal clear that those who leave the faith must die (they repeated this loud and clear a few times, although never directed personally at me). They kept using God as the reason for this e.g. the rules are made by God and they believe in God so they believe in those rules.

Now they want me to call them almost daily for some awful religious-themed therapy/family counseling sessions with them over the phone. If I wanted that I would never have run away in the first place! They're under the misguided belief that I will return home to them soon enough if they keep harassing me (harassment in the general sense, not the sort defined under the law, which is a whole lot more serious).

Any time the phone buzzes with a text or a call, my heart skips a beat. I dread that phone vibration. I sometimes wish I never had the phone anymore. They intimidate me by saying that they will find a way to track me down if I don't respond. I'm quite certain I've covered my tracks though a part of me is obviously worried. Could there be something I've overlooked?

I think that changing my number and permanently cutting them off is the only way forward - how do I go about doing this, what should I tell them in my final message? Is it right for me? They will be left either trying to find me on their own or giving up and living with the shame. Am I being extreme? Also, how will I know if they choose to try and track me down, at least this way I can keep them at bay. This is worrying me so I appreciate your help.
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
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How should I cut off my parents?
Reply #1 - December 30, 2017, 02:51 PM

A good mate of mine was endangered not so long ago. She had a lot of shit going on, I said she should contact the authorities and remember that she was in England, and that society and the law would support her right live her own life. She refused to contact the authorities, Just over a week and a half later, her brother and cousin break into her flat and kidnap her. The family at first won't let her out of her room, then graduate to not letting her leave the house without an escort. Her family start saying that she's evil, that she's some kind of demon. They actually preform an exorcism on her. A shot time after that I get a phone call at 2:30 in the morning. She says her father has just threatened to murder her. I tell her to call the police, and that I'll drive down, let her stay with me for a bit until she can sort things out.

The really fucked up thing?

Not the first ex-muslim friend of mine to have a story to play out this way.

Your parents may be saints, simply upset you don't believe their fairy tales, but experience has taught me, take care of yourself first. And if you meet up with them, set something in place so they can't take you against your will.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- Ward_End
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How should I cut off my parents?
Reply #2 - January 08, 2018, 05:28 PM

It's been well over a week since you've posted this, I hope you're doing well. I've always felt that, unless your family did something particularly vile (not that religious indoctrination isn't bad in of itself), you might just want to at least keep hold of your contacts with them for the sake of it. Changing your number seems perfectly fine if they are harassing you. Ignore them as long as you need to. Keeping a long distance between yourselves but without all contacts is probably ideal, in whatever way that would be implemented.

Coincidentally I ranted towards my own parents again recently. I didn't feel like posting any details but I might later after reading your post here. Again, I hope you're OK.
- Quod Sum Eris
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How should I cut off my parents?
Reply #3 - February 06, 2018, 02:43 PM

And well over a month since you posted that. How you doing mate?

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- MissDuplicity
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How should I cut off my parents?
Reply #4 - March 26, 2018, 05:02 PM

OMG OUR SITUATION IS EXACTLY THE SAME!! Hopefully you see this and we can chat! Here is my skype: Miss Duplicity. And my Kik is: 22Creative. Hope we can help each other out because our situations are so similar
- Quod Sum Eris
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How should I cut off my parents?
Reply #5 - March 27, 2018, 02:27 AM

Careful of posting personal details in the main threads. I'm not 100% sure it's even allowed under forum rules.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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