Wow, how do I even begin!
Well I was born muslim, raised muslim, spoon-fed islam but I am now such an abomination that my family has long since wiped me from their memory, literally, "I am dead to them", which suits me, because I would rather be dead hypothetically than really really dead. I have done everything that can possibly be considered un-islamic for a woman: drink, smoke, bacon, walked 'naked' (bikini), fornicated, but still managed not to die. I am living in the midst of it, (Africa) but a nice little isolation and a great sense of pride on my family's side has kept me well away from confrontation.
Why am I questioning Islam?
For many years I have been having conflict with Islam's way of picking on women and belittling them and the glorified male figures who have to decide how a woman should and should not act. My conflict put me in numb area called, "I just won't practice anymore". I ran away from home just after college and have basically stayed away from my family. To further my transgressions, I married the love of my life (non-Muslim) against my family's wishes. Nice little, civil wedding at the registrar's office. Between us, we now have two of the most lovely babies in the world. My mum called my little amazing intelligent daughter 'haram'. My brother said that he thought I would "come to my senses" and leave my hubby, mostly because he claims I "was going through a phase".
3 years on and after my "phase" wouldn't go away, he arranged someone to have me followed for weeks, no threats just some weird guy who kept following me (he had some mean looking eyes!). I have also received my share of threatening phone calls, nothing out of the ordinary. I do take precautions but I am largely not silent. I post what I do not agree with on FB and twitter and have had my share of trolls. I also blog about whatever miffs me.
My childhood story growing up as a hijab-wearing-muslim girl was another story all together. I had a rough childhood. The bits I could piece together, I wrote it on my blog about two years ago. (If it would be ok I could post the link if anyone would be interested).
I do think it is time to take it to the next level and completely quit Islam. Now, I wont say I have a wealth of knowledge of Islam itself to argue my way out, but what I do know is enough, and has been for a while. However, coming out out with it guns blazing, will have to be something I will hold on to until my babies and I are safely out of this continent. My hubby is working on our immigration issues, to have us join him in the UK, (yeah he is British). UK family immigration isn't exactly a bed of roses, so this has taken longer than we anticipated.
Once I feel safe enough, I will shout at the top of me lungs
Thats it!