Why can I not live an authentic life?

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- NoToPrejudice
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Why can I not live an authentic life?
OP - June 20, 2015, 09:18 PM

If I am true to myself and live a life which is same inside and out, I get in trouble and then it also translates into trouble for some of my close family! Why are my muslim colleagues ( though they are only a few ), some of my family and friends so intrusive? If I am not fasting, or eating non halal or having a drink at a team dinner or not accomanying them to Friday prayer, why I get told off....like a kid...at 50 years of age??? Why do I have to pretend, hide, lie and live a double life? What is the matter with them? They are so dead sure about their faith!!! Yesterday, I was warned by a close colleague that not fasting and eating a non halaal chicken sandwich ( I was taking a sandwich and my coffee from the cafeteria to my office) and doing so in Ramadan would get me in a big trouble on roz-e-mehshar (day of destruction/judgement) and the azaab (punishment) in jahannah is very bad and that I must mend my ways. It was totally uncalled for.....:/

Every true faith is infallible. It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search - Neitchze
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Reply #1 - June 20, 2015, 09:37 PM

Eekgads, can you not get out of whatever area you're living in in which you're experiencing this? I'm sure that is not the normal, especially in Europe! And I know, it's really rough to be treated in this way, wears away at you.

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

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harakaat, friend, RIP
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Reply #2 - June 20, 2015, 10:59 PM

Thanks Asbie. It is Europe, England to be precise. My workplace is an NHS organisation. I am talking about a place where you would expect it the least. It is not unique to my geographical location, it was in fact worse in other parts where I worked before, where there were more faith brigade around. I was then not so open about it but now I want to be and it is not easy. It is not that big a deal. I understand the difficulties others are facing and I truly empathise with them but it is still frustrating, especially when you expect it to be not like that in a country like the UK. I am just taking out my frustration. I have been affected in a very bad way in my life in the recent past because of it. I have therefore become very irritable about anything that has to do with faith or like. I wish I could openly live with the way I feel inside. I try but I get stopped in my tracks by something otpr the other.

Every true faith is infallible. It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search - Neitchze
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Reply #3 - June 20, 2015, 11:19 PM

Let me explain in order to understand my situation. Somehow, whatever I do openly, through someone gets to my in laws (though I am separated from my wife) abd then my kids hear it more or less like a 'taunt'! It is a small muslim community around but they meet at Friday prayers, Sunday school, and other gatherings. I am now well known for my kufr. :(

Every true faith is infallible. It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search - Neitchze
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Reply #4 - June 20, 2015, 11:38 PM

Eek, that sucks so much. But surely by now your kids would be used to this?

I dunno, to me it seems very likely that kids will always have a reason to bully one another, and I honestly don't think that you feeling bad about living your life the way you want without concern for this would really have much of an impact. But this is just my opinion, 2cents.

I don't know, I just feel like at this point, if you're already known for kuffar, in a way the cat's out of the bag and what you do doesn't really matter any more to faith police, you know?

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
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Reply #5 - June 21, 2015, 12:25 AM

This way that your muslim colleagues feel they can police other members of their community for religious non-conformity is frankly a bit creepy! What so you say when a colleague does this to you? Do you tell them to back off?

Have you considered taking it up as a workplace harrassment issue?
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Reply #6 - June 21, 2015, 12:37 AM

Quite a few colleagues, friends and family now kind of have an idea that I am atheist/agnostic/non-practising. Some, in my family and most in my in laws kniow about my stance on homosexuality and they are not pleased about my views. The practical examples of my being an apostate or a non believer are only coming to the knowledge and ibservation of others since I kind of openly started to act accirding to how I feel inside, e.g., eating non halal or having a drink or eating during Ramadan,, etc. This is only since I got separated after a big family debacle on the same issue of non belief, last year.
Anyway, I am beginning to learn the hard fact that some friends and family would disown me for the simple reason that I do not believe in what they believe as if zi have a switch button somewhere that I could switch on and start believing. I am glad that there is no such button as I would have hated my life if I had so much hatred, prejudice and intolerance as their faith teaches them to have.

Every true faith is infallible. It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search - Neitchze
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Reply #7 - June 21, 2015, 12:47 AM

This sounds like such a shitty situation. Are you able to keep some contact with your kids?
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Reply #8 - June 21, 2015, 12:52 AM

I am really sorry. An authentic life is better, certainly. I hope you find some like-minded company now that the cat is out of the bag.

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Reply #9 - June 21, 2015, 12:57 AM

Hi SCM,
I used to give excuses in the past for not fasting if caught. I occasionally got into joining them in the prayers. I would just move my lips and say Ameen aloud.
Now, no one (from close family or friend) has recently invited me to prayers but two of my relatives ( from in laws) last year spent quite a bit of time to get me into the religion but I tactically moved out of it. They are now observing or hearing that it is not just the lack of belief, it is that I am also acting as a non muslim, that has been the recent gossip ( as told by one of my distant relatives amongst in laws who is a closet agnostic).
When I am confronted, like on Friday, it depends who it is, I formulate my response. It was a work colleague, who did not know about my kufar ( but sure he does now and sure it is going to come back via his wife to Sunday school and beyond) I just said that I do not fast and I would not bow to a god (even if he was real) who would burn anyone for an eternity for any reason....and I walked away.

Every true faith is infallible. It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search - Neitchze
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Reply #10 - June 21, 2015, 01:10 AM

Hi again,
Thanks Three and SCM.
My kids are all I have. They are under a lot of pressure (verbal) from the other side ( in laws). I strongly believe in "you teach children how to think and not what to think". They are intelligent kids and are keeping everyone happy. They are coerced into all sorts of religious activities but when they are with me two sometimes three days a week, they have a holiday from prayers, fasting, and watch all sorts of teenage tv programmes that they are not allowed at home. I would not stop them if they wanted to pray in my house or wanted to fast. I have told them, they can believe or follow whatever, so long they are a good person, without any hatred or prejuduce, kt is fine by me.

Every true faith is infallible. It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search - Neitchze
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Reply #11 - June 21, 2015, 01:28 AM

Thanks SCM it did not occur to me that I could take it up as an harassment issue if the same person does it again! I think he probably got offended by my reply and it seems as if he would want to talk to me on this issue again. He is a typical 'all is a conspiracy against islam' type person. I am not looking forward to Monday as I am worried he would come back to me on my response. I think I should warn him once if he said anything again before going to anyone to lodge a complaint.

Every true faith is infallible. It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search - Neitchze
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Reply #12 - June 21, 2015, 02:23 AM

Quote from: NoToPrejudice on June 21, 2015, 01:10 AM
Hi again,
Thanks Three and SCM.
My kids are all I have. They are under a lot of pressure (verbal) from the other side ( in laws). I strongly believe in "you teach children how to think and not what to think". They are intelligent kids and are keeping everyone happy. They are coerced into all sorts of religious activities but when they are with me two sometimes three days a week, they have a holiday from prayers, fasting, and watch all sorts of teenage tv programmes that they are not allowed at home. I would not stop them if they wanted to pray in my house or wanted to fast. I have told them, they can believe or follow whatever, so long they are a good person, without any hatred or prejuduce, kt is fine by me.

That is really nice for the kids. What a lovely break!

Don't let Hitler have the street.
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