Hello, first of all I'd like to apologize for my English, it isn't my first language but I'll try to make myself as clear as I can.
I am a 22 years old woman who grew up in Indonesia, for those of you who are not familiar with my country, we have the biggest population of muslim in the world. My dad grew up in Aceh (one of the most religious city in Indonesia, it is also granted with Syaria law since 2004) my mom came from a more liberal background because my grandmother was a mualaf but lately she has been very religious.
All my life, Islam has been my foundation of life. Ever since I was so little, my mother asked us to read or memorize the quran. We always went to the mosque every maghrib. Everything that I did had to be in accordance with the quran. I have always thought that Islam is the only truth in this world. But as I got older, I began to be so curious about my own religion. My parents are the kind of people who read the quran just for the arabic verse, they'd sing the verses out loud but they probably don't know what it means. So, when I was 12, I started reading the meaning of some verses and I was shocked to find there are many violence advised in the book. Then at that age, I already thought how selfish God is, how could he only like the people that bow to him but get angry to those who don't agree with him? From that early on, I started questioning everything, until I went to my university then I realized how incompatible this religion is for me.
I started opening up myself to the new world and I found a man (my current bf) online who lives in the Netherlands who is really open minded and I love it, we began dating and he visited me 4 times but my dad (obviously) saw this as a threat, he recently just took my passport away, told my mom that he would threatened to kill my boyfriend and hit me if I ever ask for my passport. He also said I have changed to be a bad person because I am now apparently so white washed. Oh BTW, a little background about my dad, he cheated on my mom and re-married in the name of God. One thing that hurt me the most is when I confronted my dad about him marrying other woman and hurting my mom. He only smiled and said to me "I am a muslim man so it is A-OK for me to re-marry." That broke my heart into pieces.
I cannot come out because in my country someone just went to jail for coming out On Facebook. I really am sick of this dogmatic religion, it isn't for me. Islam is an abusive religion especially for women. I thought I was crazy and I was alone, but I'm so glad to have found this forum.
Welcome Ukhti,
Salam dari sesama orang Indo hehehe.
Fellow ex-muzies here too, but kinda the fortunate one since my friends and fam are okay with my curent view --- I'm a Deist btw. Still call myself a Muslim with atheistic approach, or should i call Mu'tazila.
Being openly "Atheistic Muslim" is actually more acceptable here (at least in Jakarta) rather than irritating people's ear with your current view (Atheism). Therefore, you might want to re-identify yourself for the sake of blend in with the community by calling youself as a Liberal Muslim or something alike.
You know, the perk of being an Atheist is, we can lebel ourselves with anything we want and we can blend in with every religious society. So, a humble advice for you, blend in with society by calling yourself something not too harmful for their eye. Liberal Muslim or Kejawen Muslim should do.
Lastly, be happy! Being free from dogmatic shit means we can be flexible as possible.