Towards Atheism - New Member
OP - April 26, 2011, 07:31 PM
Hi!
My name is Grouchy and I am an ex-muslim since a year back.
Islam has had a big impact on me from day one. It has not only shaped my views regarding theistic topics but also the way of thinking and acting in my everyday life. Islam is very unique in that sense that it branches out to your very core, it becomes infused with your inner-self that once you come to question it you have to question the very nature you are.
I was brought up by a lonely parent, my mother, since my father died when I was at the age of two.
My mother was always over-protective to the degree that she dedicated her whole life for me and my younger brother. Wherever she went, there we were. When her friends wanted her to go on a trip and prompted her to leave us at our grandparents' house, she would refuse. Either we go or nobody goes. My mother knew early on that she couldn't keep us out of harms way for too long, one day we will be let loose and the pitfalls of life will surely get her two little angels. So she adopted the notion of the greatest babysitter of all time, God. My mother was never religious before the death of my father. He even refused her to wear the hijab on several occasions. He was a free spirit as I often would hear by my other relatives when I grew up. My mother however was a very fearful soul. She always feared I remember. The electric bill, the school annual payment, the neighbours' talk, and most importantly God.
Fear, fear, fear. Fear your God. Because you are small, he is big. You are dumb, he is wise. You are nothing, while he is everything. This idea of fear followed me throughout my early teens. I even remember till this day how I often used to be traumatized by the feeling I got after each time I masturbated, even though I tried not masturbate, I really did. The idea of God and his prophet watching me masturbate was almost worse than the punishment itself. Till this day I remember the feeling of going to sleep without praying the five compulsory prayers. It was said to me that God took your soul each time you went to sleep, and he returned it to you the very next day. The agonizing thought of the almighty God scrutinizing my very being was hell for me. But it didn't stop there. The prophet Muhammed also had to get in on it. Each Thursday he would examine the actions of every Muslim on this earth. You might sit there and fringe at the idea of such ludicrous notions, but I promise you that they felt more real than my very right hand.
Sadly, those who didn't grow up with Islam will never understand the naïve rudimentary thought process of a young person regarding religion. You could have been told that God and Muhammed played checkers on Sundays with every Muslim soul on earth and a child would not have thought of it any less than judgement day. Everything about Muhammed was true. Simple. No questions. It just was. The way he walked, the way he talked, the way he justified things, the way he demanded things. Who are you to say no?
How did I liberate myself from this fear then, and ultimately see Islam for what it is?
The process of liberation is a long and hard journey. Read outside of your realm of comfort is my advice. Please don't listen to any sheik, mullah or even your parents. Read the source.
I freed myself by simply focusing on the must outrageous part in Islam, Hell. I remember till this day the moment I was liberated. It took one sentence for me.
How could someone be punished for eternity for a finite crime? I asked.
Nobody answered.
Thank you for taking your time to read.
Sincerely,
Grouchy
Grouchy what is the good reason for picking up an innocent girl as Osama bin Laden?
Topic: Towards Atheism - New Member