So I said earlier I was worried that my parents would be disappointed if I married a non-Iraqi girl.
The subject was brought up today. My dad asked jokingly when I was gonna get married and I told him it won't be until at least 5 years from now. Then he and my mum started asking what kinda girl I wanna marry. At this point my father asked a very interesting question "would you marry a girl who only prays? I mean a very liberal girl who doesn't adhere to Islam other than praying and fasting. Would you? " He asked this in a very meek unassuming manner. It revealed to me that he is now fully aware of all aspect of my apostasy. He's trying to accept it or at least expect it. Just like the other day he told me he's sure that I will start drinking when I move out next September.
I felt a little guilty about it and told him that *on paper* I would marry such a girl as long as I know her well enough and know her political and moral positions. I told him that among the many things I look for in a potential partner is liberalism and open-mindedness. That she must be fully aware of my apostasy and that she agrees to raise our kids in a non-religious upbringing. He was OK with it. I'm sure deep inside he was a little disappointed but not enough to show it.
Then I asked him if she must be Iraqi. He said that it's the ideal scenario but far from a condition. So I asked him if that meant he wouldn't allow me to marry a British girl and he was like "I will respect your decision and welcome her to the family but I'm not gonna lie to you, I won't like it". He even said that he prefers a Christian Iraqi daughter-in-law to a Western Muslim convert which really surprised me. He said he wants to be able to communicate with her fluently !
Anyway, I think it's good that we had this talk. Now I know for sure that not only my parents fully understand my atheism but also they understand what that entails in terms of lifestyle and family dynamics.
This is a big development. When I joined this forum 7 months ago, I wrote in my intro thread the following:
>>
"At first I got the sense that they thought that it was just a "phase" that I was going though in order to justify to myself having pre-marital sex. In other words they though it was simply a "youth revolt" and they didn't take me seriously." <<
Now I know for sure
Topic: Marriage