Plato's Symposium and the perplexing nature of love in society
OP - February 14, 2013, 06:43 PM
In the Symposium, Plato through Phaedrus says the following during his speech in praise of love:
"In our own country a far better principle prevails, but, as I was saying, the explanation of it is rather perplexing. For, observe that open loves are held to be more honourable than secret ones, and that the love of the noblest and highest, even if their persons are less beautiful than others, is especially honourable.
Consider, too, how great is the encouragement which all the world gives to the lover; neither is he supposed to be doing anything dishonourable; but if he succeeds he is praised, and if he fail he is blamed. And in the pursuit of his love the custom of mankind allows him to do many strange things, which philosophy would bitterly censure if they were done from any motive of interest, or wish for office or power. He may pray, and entreat, and supplicate, and swear, and lie on a mat at the door, and endure a slavery worse than that of any slave -- you should in any other case friends and enemies would be equally ready to prevent him, but now there is no friend who will be ashamed of him and admonish him, and no enemy will charge him with meanness or flattery; the actions of a lover have a grace which ennobles them; and custom has decided that they are highly commendable and that there no loss of character in them; and, what is strangest of all, he only may swear and forswear himself (so men say), and the gods will forgive his transgression, for there is no such thing as a lover's oath. Such is the entire liberty which gods and men have allowed the lover, according to the custom which prevails in our part of the world. From this point of view a man fairly argues in Athens to love and to be loved is held to be a very honourable thing. But when parents forbid their sons to talk with their lovers, and place them under a tutor's care, who is appointed to see to these things, and their companions and equals cast in their teeth anything of the sort which they may observe, and their elders refuse to silence the reprovers and do not rebuke them -- you should any one who reflects on all this will, on the contrary, think that we hold these practices to be most disgraceful. But, as I was saying at first, the truth as I imagine is, that whether such practices are honourable or whether they are dishonourable is not a simple question; they are honourable to him who follows them honourably, dishonourable to him who follows them dishonourably. There is dishonour in yielding to the evil, or in an evil manner; but there is honour in yielding to the good, or in an honourable manner."
Reading this passage made me think of how more traditional muslim societies are constantly pushing their kids to marry early, saying things like this is the "sunnah" of life and of the prophet. Educated, westernized and (secretly) atheist open-minded individuals who put marriage off in favor of education, because they haven't met the right person, or simply because he/she doesn't want to get married can be forced to suffer through immense pressure and criticism.
At the same time, in places like Saudi Arabia, where I grew up, so much emphasis is placed on what is called "اختلاط" or "mixing" where moral police patrol restaurants and other locations to make sure sexes remain separated as much as possible. Love is so vilified and so forbidden that it is considered shameful. For example, my mother, who is well into her late 50's, in a conversation about a movie, referred to sex as "immoral acts." She has four children.
This kind of cognitive dissonance and inherent contradictions have always been so perplexing and yet interesting at the same time to me. Not only that, this fact of muslim culture breeds a lot of perversion and crime: such as sexual abuse.
Here are my questions to everyone:
1)How do such people who take such a negative view (inspired by religion) on natural phenomena reconcile actually perform those acts and have children when this is how their minds work?
2) My observation that because of this cognitive dissonance a lot of Muslim marriages are simply miserable, because they've been the product of forced or rash choices, and because women are always "subjugated" on various levels if they choose to be fully Muslim. I've seen this phenomenon first hand; so many married muslim women are secretly on anti-depressants. So why the pressure? Why are they trying to make their children just as miserable, and how is such a thought reconciled?
3) Is atheism the key to eradicating perversions and deviances caused by religious shaming on love and sex? Or do they come from something else?
Feel free to add your own questions.
Topic: Plato's Symposium and the perplexing nature of love in society