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 Topic: My parents are making me pray, help.

 (Read 3041 times)
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  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     OP - September 05, 2013, 10:48 PM
    Hello, and good day to you all murtads and murtadat. So I have a bit of problem at the moment. About a month ago I officially left Islam and I had no problem hiding it, but now my mother is making me pray in the living room, which means I actually have to pray. She is skeptic if I am truly praying ( I have been pretty faithful with moving my praying mat in my room to make it look like I prayed) and so I really can't say no because she'll ask why, and so on and so forth. Can you give me any tips to get out of this or at least how to fake praying (like what are the correct amount of minutes to stand etc). Thank you I would really love some amusement in this boring ordeal!
    Just like Johnny Flynn said, the breath I've taken and the one I must to go on.
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #1 - September 05, 2013, 11:09 PM
    if you wear a hijab while you do it you can have earphones in. Maybe ""Kill your god" blaring in your eyes as you pray would offer some amusement?  Smiley
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #2 - September 05, 2013, 11:16 PM
    Or maybe "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC

    "Hey mama, look at me, I am going to the promised land"
    Just like Johnny Flynn said, the breath I've taken and the one I must to go on.
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #3 - September 05, 2013, 11:20 PM
    "I don't know what they're talking about
     I'm making my own decisions
     This thing that I found ain't gonna bring me down
     I'm like a junkie without an addiction

    Mama don't cry I just wanna stay high
     Like playing with danger or fear
     Everybody's walking but nobody's talking
     It looks a lot better from here

    All my life I've been over the top
     I don't know what I'm doing
     All I know is I don't wanna stop
     All fired up, I'm gonna go till I drop
     You're either in or in the way
     Don't make me, I don't wanna stop

    Why don't they ever listen to me?
     Is this a one way conversation?
     Nothing they say is gonna set me free
     Don't need no mental masturbation

    Too many religions for only one god
     I don't need another savior
     Don't try to change my mind, you know I'm one of a kind
     Ain't gonna change my bad behaviour"

     Afro
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #4 - September 06, 2013, 12:35 AM
    Quote from: Wiselyskeptical on September 05, 2013, 11:16 PM
    Or maybe "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC

    "Hey mama, look at me, I am going to the promised land"


    I like this kid.
    fuck you
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #5 - September 06, 2013, 12:39 AM
    Ditto.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #6 - September 06, 2013, 05:55 AM
    fajr -5 minutes, 2 bends (raka)
    zohar - 8 mintues, 4 bends
    Asr - 8 mintues, 4 bends
    magrib - 7 mintues, 3 bends
    Isha - 10 mintues, 4 bends

    this is my little system to doing it. I can't say it will fool your parents. But it fools mine
    Tell people that there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you.

    Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
    - George Carlin
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #7 - September 06, 2013, 06:06 AM
    Bad back - 0 bends.

    "Ooh, me lumbago."
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #8 - September 06, 2013, 10:03 PM
    You are vumens der for-a yoos cans pretends yoos are on periods, why nots?

    (Sorry that was my attempt at Hinglish).
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #9 - September 06, 2013, 10:38 PM
    ^^  Cheesy
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #10 - September 07, 2013, 02:18 AM
    I've been an ex-Muslim for years so I've been faking for a long time. My father has a rule that I must pray with 3+ people so it was tough faking during elementary and high school because I was forced to pray with the family. I now attend university so I'm typically away from home everyday; my parents believe that I'm praying at my school (we have a prayer room) or a nearby masjid. I'm able to miss the majority of my prayers but during the weekends or holidays, I tell my parents that I'm going to the masjid to pray and read the Quran but in reality, I'm at the mall to window shop or sometimes I hit the art gallery to gaze. The options are endless Wink Tell your mother that you'll like to go to the masjid (or somewhere else) to pray instead. If she doesn't allow you to do so, then sorry... That's my only idea :/
    turnipovich
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #11 - September 07, 2013, 07:16 AM
    Middle of salat exclaim "Alright... that's it... this is fucking stupid". Being grounded and standing in a corner surely beats jerking off an imaginary sky god.
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #12 - September 07, 2013, 10:35 AM
    Namaz, Turkish style.
    Fajr - 3 mins.
    Zohr - 8.5 mins.
    Asr - 6.5 mins
    magrib - 4.5 mins.
    isha - 12.5 mins.

    These calculations encapsulate both fard and sunna rackahs.
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #13 - September 07, 2013, 11:09 AM
    I've had this problem now and again, what I do is just 'perform' the farz part of the prayer. If parents question, I just bring up that if sunnats were compulsary they'd be called farz, not a strong argument but worked like a charm  Cheesy. Same excuse about nafil aswell.

    If you can't be bothered to mutter anything just move you lips like your miming for about a minute. You'll be done quick.
    The headphones under the hijab is a clever idea.
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #14 - September 07, 2013, 11:11 AM
    Can't you just say you have an extreme case of flatulance?


    Sorry, I know this is not a joke for you. I can honestly say that whenever I would go to pray my mates and I would mess around all the time. Like when in ruku we would get up in kick each other up the arse and slap each others topi off!

    Those were the days.

    Just last week in fact. Not.
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • My parents are making me pray, help.
     Reply #15 - September 07, 2013, 01:43 PM
    bahahuhaua My mom also forces to pray but I skip them most of the time, and I pray in my home with the door closed. So  I  start dancing or try to solve the rubik cube  Cheesy, or just play with my mobile abahuaha   dance
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