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Theme Changer

 Topic: Hi Everyone

 (Read 5171 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Hi Everyone
     OP - December 12, 2015, 10:38 PM

    Hi everyone!

    I've been an ex-muslim for 4 years now, and I'm very happy to have found this forum. I haven't had much of an opportunity to deal with my past and don't have any family or friends who can relate.
    My story - I am a white American woman, I became muslim at the age of 17. I was a practicing sunni muslim for nearly 8 years. I lived overseas for a short period of time and have been to several muslim countries. I got married at 18 and had three kids in the years that followed. I began to have doubts not long after my 19th birthday, but I felt stuck and didn't want to split up my family. I also had so much emotion and fear tied to Islam that even though I knew it couldn't be true and I hated the way I was living, I was terrified to leave and constantly sought out information that would make me believe. The more I researched and dug for the truth, the less faith I had. It took me a very long time to get out. I finally divorced my husband when I was 25 and moved on with my life. I still face some difficulties, because all of my children have muslim names and my ex-husband still sees them every other weekend and tries to fill their heads with nonsense. I feel guilt every day that I chose to have my children under these circumstances and that they will grow up hearing this stuff. However, I am lucky to not have family and society opposing me as many of you do.

    Nice to meet all of you Smiley
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #1 - December 12, 2015, 10:40 PM

    Welcome parrot
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #2 - December 12, 2015, 11:07 PM

    Welcome  parrot

    I'm so sorry for your experience, but I am glad you found the forum. I had that fear and emotional attachment for a while before I came to my senses.

    "If you don't like your religion's fundamentalists, then maybe there's something wrong with your religion's fundamentals."
    "Demanding blind respect but not offering any respect in reciprocation is laughable."
    "Let all the people in all the worlds be in peace."
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #3 - December 13, 2015, 01:44 AM

     parrot

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #4 - December 13, 2015, 02:37 AM

    Welcome, I can relate quite well to your experience. The best writing I have ever read on it is from https://sobersecondlook.wordpress.com/  every time I read something new from her I am nodding my head in complete agreement.

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #5 - December 13, 2015, 06:45 AM


    The more I researched and dug for the truth, the less faith I had.



     Afro Afro Afro

    This is absolutely 100% correct.
    The more you use your mind, the less faith you had in Islam.
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #6 - December 13, 2015, 07:28 AM

    Welcome to the forum BrightStar Smiley

    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #7 - December 14, 2015, 06:55 PM

    Thanks for welcoming me Smiley Three, very interesting blog. Convert women do have a very unique experience. From my experience, it's not hard to find converts who have had equally troubling experiences, but none that I know have left Islam. And it's oh-so-true that white coverts share an odd, eccentric, C-R-A-Z-Y personality. I, too, took Islam to extremes in the beginning, but I could never really fit in with all the crazies in the convert community.
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #8 - December 15, 2015, 05:06 PM

    Welcome  parrot
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #9 - December 15, 2015, 11:32 PM

    Welcome BrightStar <3 Out of curiosity, do your children identify with Islam (assuming that your ex continues to preach it)?
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #10 - December 16, 2015, 01:12 AM

    Welcome, brightstar! Very interesting story, and a familiar one for a few of us, myself included. Good to have you around.


    And welcome, redblueyellow.

    Mind making an intro post like brightstar did so we can get to know you better and welcome you formally?
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #11 - December 16, 2015, 02:12 AM

    Welcome. bunny

    http://www.breitbart.com/london/2014/09/09/ginger-jihadis-why-redheads-are-attracted-to-radical-islam/

    It seems that the whiter one is, the more fanatical one can get. Why, I don't know; maybe the innate tribalism of the far northwest in Eurasia.
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #12 - December 16, 2015, 02:22 AM

     Cheesy

    ...Although I will say that a trap I fell into in the early years before I went full Quranist on everyone, and one I've seen happen with other white converts, is where we can initially feel overwhelmed by the rest of the community's attention and expectations (or suspicions that we're just in a phase/not sincere) we feel compelled to go overboard. And overboard some of us went.
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #13 - December 16, 2015, 02:41 AM

    Ahh The Quranists and Submitters. I remember debating them as a Sunni. lol

    The Edip Yuksel phase.. Another form of mental gymnastics.. dance

    "If you don't like your religion's fundamentalists, then maybe there's something wrong with your religion's fundamentals."
    "Demanding blind respect but not offering any respect in reciprocation is laughable."
    "Let all the people in all the worlds be in peace."
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #14 - December 16, 2015, 02:47 AM

    Ahh, my friend, don't worry. Grin A few other ex-Sunnis on here have had a stern word with me. How can one disagree with Cornflower or Happymurtad individually, much less as a team? I tried my best, but man, they're tough.
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #15 - December 16, 2015, 02:54 AM

     Cheesy

    Ex-Salafis for the win.. Add me to the team.. Just kidding Wink

    "If you don't like your religion's fundamentalists, then maybe there's something wrong with your religion's fundamentals."
    "Demanding blind respect but not offering any respect in reciprocation is laughable."
    "Let all the people in all the worlds be in peace."
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #16 - December 16, 2015, 02:55 AM

    Piggybacking on their hard-earned victory? Ayb.  grin12
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #17 - December 16, 2015, 04:38 AM

    So with cornflower and HM and vlog we now have three ex salafis on the forum.

    I think thats more than we had actively posting during the same time period.

    VandalSavage was also an ex salafi but he doesn't post as actively anymore.

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #18 - December 16, 2015, 04:53 AM

    I just checked out vandal savage's blog. very good information.

    https://irrationalislam.wordpress.com/about/

    "If you don't like your religion's fundamentalists, then maybe there's something wrong with your religion's fundamentals."
    "Demanding blind respect but not offering any respect in reciprocation is laughable."
    "Let all the people in all the worlds be in peace."
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #19 - December 16, 2015, 05:37 AM

    And the best part is that he chose the name Vandal Savage. Many cool comics with him as a main character. When you're an immortal who hunted down and ate woolly mammoths you have a lot of back story and character development.

    Which also means he's a comic fan. dance

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #20 - December 16, 2015, 04:37 PM

    ". . . still sees them every other weekend and tries to fill their heads with nonsense. I feel guilt every day that I chose to have my children under these circumstances and that they will grow up hearing this stuff. . . ."

    Are you limited to what your children can listen to?    Can you not take your children to a local Christian Church during the week?  The gentler messages of Christianity may counteract the more violent messages of Islam.

    P.S. This is the first time that I have recommended this plan of action.  Normally, I don't recommend any religion except for Farsideology. Smiley

    Kind Regards,
    Farside of wikiislam.net
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #21 - December 16, 2015, 06:20 PM

    "Are you limited to what your children can listen to?    Can you not take your children to a local Christian Church during the week?  The gentler messages of Christianity may counteract the more violent messages of Islam."

    I have considered doing exactly that for those exact reasons, but haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I don't know if it would do more harm than good. I don't want them to feel even more confused. It doesn't seem to effect them too much yet. They repeat what their dad says every once in a while. Luckily, their dad is EXTREMELY lazy and doesn't take them to the mosque and does very little with them. The only thing he does is give them little "lessons" every once in a while. When they bring it back to me, I ask them "why?" and "how does your dad know that?" questions, then I tell them that when they are older, they can read all the books they want and decide for themselves what they believe. I teach them that religion is a very personal choice, and no one can tell them what to believe, and that no one really knows the truth about everything.
    Welcome BrightStar <3 Out of curiosity, do your children identify with Islam (assuming that your ex continues to preach it)?



    I don't believe they really identify with it yet. They have a full, busy life in the "normal" world. They go to a really nice public school and we live in a nice exurb. They have several people in their lives that are much more influential than their dad. Their dad is lazy and seems them only a couple days at a time every other weekend. He's not an influential person, and he lacks charisma. He just spews information to them every once in a while about islam and muslims and how they are muslim, and tells them things about Jinns etc. He doesn't make a good case for Islam at all. I have, so far, taken the approach of listening to what my kids say and telling them what I believe, and that they can make that decision for themselves when they're older. I'm afraid to push too hard the other way; I don't want religion to be a "thing" in their lives. I want them to think for themselves and live in the present. I'm more concerned about what will happen as they get older. Their dad is very extreme in his thinking and his whole life revolves around Islam. He lacks an identity without it. As they get older, I think they will see that and maybe become influenced if they stay close to him.

  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #22 - December 16, 2015, 11:09 PM

    If their dad is lazy, this can work in your favor.  Afro

    Show your children the theory of evolution and expose them to science as well. They don't only have to cling on to more harmless religions than Islam.. Children are very impressionable and smart during their younger years.

    If your goal is to only sway them because you don't want them to be Muslim, their lazy father might pick up on that and make give them little suggestions that you're "anti-muslim" or something. Then their father will have a big impression on them.

    Without risking that, just keep telling them that beliefs are personal and that it doesn't have to be anyone's business of what they believe.

    "If you don't like your religion's fundamentalists, then maybe there's something wrong with your religion's fundamentals."
    "Demanding blind respect but not offering any respect in reciprocation is laughable."
    "Let all the people in all the worlds be in peace."
  • Hi Everyone
     Reply #23 - December 27, 2015, 05:56 PM

    Welcome  parrot
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