Skip navigation
Sidebar -

Advanced search options →
↑ ↓
CEMB → Forum → Sanctuary (no snark zone - play nice) → Ex-Muslim Blogs and Bios → Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons

Welcome

Welcome to CEMB forum.
Please login or register. Did you miss your activation email?

Donations

Help keep the Forum going!
Click on Kitty to donate:

Kitty is lost

Recent Posts

Do humans have needed kno...
Yesterday at 03:31 PM
افضل الايام
by akay
Yesterday at 10:26 AM
Ramadan
by akay
Yesterday at 12:02 AM
Russia invades Ukraine
February 28, 2025, 06:30 PM
Gaza assault
February 26, 2025, 09:25 AM
New Britain
February 25, 2025, 08:11 PM
اضواء على الطريق ....... ...
by akay
February 23, 2025, 09:40 AM
What music are you listen...
by zeca
February 22, 2025, 09:50 PM
Lights on the way
by akay
February 22, 2025, 02:56 PM
German nationalist party ...
February 21, 2025, 10:31 AM
Random Islamic History Po...
by zeca
February 14, 2025, 08:00 AM
Qur'anic studies today
by zeca
February 13, 2025, 10:07 PM

Theme Changer

 Topic: Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons

 (Read 12665 times)
  • Previous page 1 2« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #30 - June 14, 2014, 06:15 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on June 14, 2014, 06:09 PM
    But I think I really need to do it eventually, till the end, but I have a fairly clear picture of it anyway. So emotions lead me to Islam, and reason and my brain maturing into an adults (the brain keeps on developing until the age of 24), lead me out of Islam  grin12



    Are you sure? I thought the brain never stops developing...
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #31 - June 14, 2014, 06:30 PM
    @ Inception: I read that the brain is fully "grown" at the age of 25, according to studies. Don't know if this is a reliable page, but it was the first one in English I came across. http://www.academic.marist.edu/mwwatch/fall05/science1.htm
    Personally, when I try to think about my own maturity and though process, I can completely relate to this.

    @Berbs: I definitely think you have a point here!
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #32 - June 14, 2014, 06:37 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on June 14, 2014, 06:09 PM
    @hm Oh, I know there was a lot of emotional shit that worked as reason for me to turn to Islam and hold on to it for so long. I've tried to think about it and go through it all, but I get so tired of it after a while. But I think I really need to do it eventually, till the end, but I have a fairly clear picture of it anyway. So emotions lead me to Islam, and reason and my brain maturing into an adults (the brain keeps on developing until the age of 24), lead me out of Islam  grin12

    @Berbs: it seems as your sister is a highly emotion-driven person. Maybe she does things on a whim? Or at least, makes drastic decisions without thinking it through? People who are emotion-driven usually do, even though they think they have "thought it through". Her new religion took Islam's place, and her hate is stronger than her fear. It usually is regardless of who you are...


    I think emotion leads a lot of people to Islam.
    We have a white convert in our mosque (our one and only) . She turned to Islam when everything in her life started going wrong. Her husband left her to be with someone else, her daughter fell into the wrong crowd and the whole drug scene etc. During her darkest period she saw Islam as a respite maybe because of its family friendly image? I think she felt that if her family was Muslim; her husband would've stuck around and her kids would be doing better.

    She had a talk to us girls about it various times warning us about the evil that lurks behind the glamour of Western lifestyle.  
    I don't doubt her intentions but makes me wonder if she would have looked towards Islam if things in her life had turned out differently? To muslims It's Allah's way of leading you to the truth but who knows.
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #33 - June 14, 2014, 06:44 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on June 14, 2014, 06:30 PM
    @ Inception: I read that the brain is fully "grown" at the age of 25, according to studies. Don't know if this is a reliable page, but it was the first one in English I came across. http://www.academic.marist.edu/mwwatch/fall05/science1.htm
    ..............

    No..no... those foolish scientist are talking about brain as an organ and maximum number of neurons per mm2 of brain tissue see these old farts..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIsXFSefT3o

    or any one at http://cii.gov.pk/




    their brain never grows.. it is just stagnated all the way to their grave....
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #34 - June 14, 2014, 08:25 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on June 14, 2014, 08:54 AM

    I know a convert lady who left Islam for a couple of years because of a bad marriage, the husband was being heavily influenced by his cousin who was one of the biggest Islamist misogynist I've ever come across (!). But then about a year before I left Islam for the last time, I heard she had remarried a convert and come back to Islam. I think her reasons were emotionally as well, she couldn't keep up with the "obedient Muslimah" role she was assigned, especially in her context where the wife (the "role model") of her husband's cousin was... well, let's just say it's depressing...



    I have had a lot of thoughts about this. I think in Islamic culture, your Mahram makes all the difference in the world if you are female. If you have the support of your father and brothers, your husband is probably going to be supportive, too, if he wants to keep you. If you do not have the support of family, then all your life depends on your husband. If your husband does not want you to go out, to talk to this person or that person, and give such reasons as they have a ¨flawed Iman" or whatever, what can you do? In conservative Islam, it is his right to dictate these things. To argue against him is to argue against Islam.
    I once took a girl who had fled a very bad husband to the local Imam to get a divorce decree. Even in the face of horrid abuse, inhuman abuse, that Imam would not do a thing, even though it was in his power. I was so astounded, I was sure we had made some sort of mistake in communication. But no. The Imam was like that. Probably they are all like that. I have never heard of one who was helpful to a married woman.
    When your Mahram is bad is when the issues with being female and Muslim come to the fore. It is a hell, and following Islam becomes an oppressive choice.
    I understand this lady completely.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #35 - June 14, 2014, 08:30 PM
    I'll post in detail later on but I only started to doubt the religion when I read the horrific immoral stories in the Quran about allah destroying entire cities just for not believing in him, the sex slaves stuff etc.

    In my mind as a teenage muslim I had always thought of allah as this infinitly merciful being and the stories in the quran and hadith just totally contradicted that.

    I tried to rationalize those immoral stories away through various ways but in order to increase my iman I tried to look for concrete evidence to maintain my faith.

    And as predicted after going through all the arguments for traditional orthodox sunni islam none of them held and with my exposure to science through documentaries and highscool classes as well as my ancient civizliations history courses all steered me towards a naturalistic worldview which could actually be supported by concrete scientific evidience unlike th creationist claims of islam.

    At the same time the philosophy of secular humanism also greatly appealed to me from a moral and ethical viewpoint.

    And thats a quick summary of how I ended up as an apostate.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #36 - June 14, 2014, 08:36 PM
    I see the same difference in the way my sister 'left' Islam (not sure if she is a non-Muslim now) and the way I did. She got tired of all the rules and hated not being able to do what she liked, hated the fights at home that were the result of this. She also just woke up one day and left the house. For me, it didn't have anything to do with the rules or feeling oppressed. At some point I had questions that couldn't be answered to my satisfaction. And that the beginning of leaving.
    I don't know if my sister will ever go back to being Muslim but I definitely see her turning Buddhist or whatever.

    I did have a lack of emotional attachment to Islam when it came to certain things. When praying in the mosque, for example, everybody would start crying when hearing the Quran or Dua Qunoot but for me, it did nothing. At most, I enjoyed the voice and the way of reciting but I didn't feel anything like I did with certain songs, for example. During lectures about hell, other people would start crying and I was just sitting there, trying to look as if it affected me too, lol.

    I did get this warm fuzzy feeling during Eid but I think that had more to do with family gatherings and new clothes. XD

    The future is full of thrilling possibilities.
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #37 - June 15, 2014, 03:41 AM
    Quote from: INcePtion on June 14, 2014, 06:15 PM
    Are you sure? I thought the brain never stops developing...


    Yeah, I feel like the 24 thing is BS too.

    Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part...  Cry
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #38 - June 16, 2014, 08:37 AM
    Quote from: Trustworthy on June 14, 2014, 08:36 PM
    I see the same difference in the way my sister 'left' Islam (not sure if she is a non-Muslim now) and the way I did. She got tired of all the rules and hated not being able to do what she liked, hated the fights at home that were the result of this. She also just woke up one day and left the house. For me, it didn't have anything to do with the rules or feeling oppressed. At some point I had questions that couldn't be answered to my satisfaction. And that the beginning of leaving.
    I don't know if my sister will ever go back to being Muslim but I definitely see her turning Buddhist or whatever.

    I did have a lack of emotional attachment to Islam when it came to certain things. When praying in the mosque, for example, everybody would start crying when hearing the Quran or Dua Qunoot but for me, it did nothing. At most, I enjoyed the voice and the way of reciting but I didn't feel anything like I did with certain songs, for example. During lectures about hell, other people would start crying and I was just sitting there, trying to look as if it affected me too, lol.

    I did get this warm fuzzy feeling during Eid but I think that had more to do with family gatherings and new clothes. XD




    I guess I don't know Arabic so I never felt impacted by the Quran.  I've heard or seen people go into fits and hysterics from the emotional impact of God's true word but I would be sitting there perturbed. Like how can these people who have no idea about what they just read feel any emotions from it?
  • Re: Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #39 - June 16, 2014, 09:16 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 14, 2014, 11:52 AM
    Also fuck those pratts that condemn someone for leaving for emotional reasons.  Most people remain muslim for emotional reasons, that have fuck all to do with ever having read the quran. 




    I personally think the issue is a bit more nuanced than that. Leaving islam for emotional reasons is perfectly legitimate   but emotionally leaving after reading the new atheists (for example) I'm not so sure, bit of a grey area that one, can stray into self-hate, west is best etc.
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #40 - July 04, 2014, 10:16 PM
    I'm on my way out of Islam because it led me to aufrer from depression. The only way with combatting a mental illness is to deal with by letting go, not getting it force fed to you by the clueless bearded scholars.

    When I see the crying hijabi mother who's son has been murdered, or the ruthless killing of the three Israeli teenagers this week....do these people not see that religion is causing this divide amongst humans?

    The hijabi mother, she won't leave it behind....because she's too scared of god. She can't see that her son has perished because of the ever growing gap between religions.

    I hope one day that people will open their eyes, I really do.
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #41 - July 05, 2014, 07:57 PM
    http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=26142.msg742954#msg742954

    Cornflower I posted something similar, what do you think
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #42 - July 05, 2014, 08:01 PM
    I posted in that thread Smiley
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #43 - July 08, 2014, 01:12 PM
    A Catholic Englishman who had converted to Islam once joked that his new religion wasn't so much different from the previous one - the overwhelming fear of hell was still there, only he didn't have alcohol or confessionals to turn to.

    Religions are emotional parasites that prey on our need for certainty in an uncertain universe. I once felt the attraction of an orderly universe governed by a powerful, just Allah, only to realise there was no merciful deity in Islam. And that there was no deity at all in the real world.

    In the beginning, my intellectual side tried so many ways to square the circle, to make Islam look  relevant to my own eyes and trying to turn a desert nomad's ramblings into a framework for modern life. That was all a waste of time. Islam's humanistic advancements could be taken separately without having to deal with its superstitious baggage and rank bullshit, but no believing Muslim could ever suggest that... for that way lies the way of the munafiq.

    My intellectual misadventures then went full circle back to emotional release once I gave up being a Muslim. Why should I shackle myself to an ancient scripture? Why should I listen to people who want to recreate the inequalities of 7th century Arabia forever? I look forward now, my ideals based on a continuously evolving humanism and equality for all, not by endlessly picking apart some old book. Freedom is good Smiley
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #44 - July 08, 2014, 03:54 PM
    I was just thinking about this topic as well, I was thinking about the argument that people leave religion because it is too hard.... I think that is a laughable argument and yes people who do leave for emotional reasons are bound to come back.

    I don't think practicing islam is too hard, if you do it moderately, alot of people practice with ease, as did I. It becomes difficult in extremes.

    Knowledge is really the more enlightening and scary route, but once you realise it there is no looking back

    I was asked quite a few times if I would go back to islam, and the fact is I can't anymore, it's just not the same.

    Did anyone here actually leave on the account of it being hard?
    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #45 - July 08, 2014, 04:11 PM
    I think the "hardship" I experienced with practicing Islam the last year or so before I left, was in the fact that I knew deep down the whole religion was man made. So of course it's gonna be "hard" to be devout with daily prayers and hiding behind cloth when there is no "higher" purpose to it except control in different shapes.
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #46 - July 08, 2014, 04:19 PM
    Ye I think one of the many things that made me question things is hearing how I should be like the prophet and his companions

    It got me thinking but these people were human! They could not have been so perfect!

    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #47 - July 08, 2014, 04:43 PM
    The knowledge that religion is a manmade construct feeds back to your emotions. If the Prophet was just another fallible man, then treating him as a perfect role model (or God's offspring in other faiths) means you're lying to yourself and turning his failings into virtues. If there is no God to punish women who don't wear the hijab, then the reason for wearing hijab seems to be keeping women under men's control.

    That's why I left Islam - the whole thing was just a front for some superstitious bullshit. There was no way to reform it without ripping up the whole rulebook.
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #48 - July 08, 2014, 04:49 PM
    Quote from: shaytanshoes on July 08, 2014, 04:43 PM
    .........................That's why I left Islam -...........

    Hmm.. that is what shaytanshoes says..,,    Really.., that was the reason??   But do i believe in what shaytanshoes  says??...  I am not sure about it... Because he is in shaytanshoes..,

    and welcome to CEMB .. my good wishes to you shaytanshoes
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #49 - July 08, 2014, 07:36 PM
    I think emotions are a powerful force in either distancing someone from religion or keeping them tethered, but, I think without logical reasoning providing an intellectual foundation for beliefs and values, then you'll be more prone to sway.
    "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
     Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
     Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
     Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God." - Epicurus
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #50 - July 09, 2014, 04:50 AM
    Shaytan needs some good shoes because it's really hot where he lives whistling2

    It was knowledge about evolution and human development that confirmed my decision to become an atheist. I tried the Islamic science angle for a while to justify the glaring inconsistencies I saw between the Quran and modern scientific texts, but that involved taking sweeping generalisations and twisting them to fit the latest findings. It's intellectual dishonesty because you can lift anything from some religious text and fit it anywhere by changing the surrounding context; Muslim and Christian apologists are experts at this. They're not doing any science, they're just yelling out "I told you so!" Checking out atheist-oriented science sites like Richard Dawkins' RDF and Scienceblogs' Pharyngula sowed seeds in my mind to question the Quran's supposed infallibility on scientific matters.

    It all snowballed from there. Once I had doubts about the Quran, I had doubts about Muhammad's teachings in the hadith, and then I had doubts over Islamic law and its view on life. With doubt came the hunger for more knowledge and with that, I slowly realized that Islam was shaped by human hands and there was no God above to punish or reward us. We are tiny motes in the cosmic dust but our ability to care and love for each other, and other living things that share this Earth, gives this life meaning. We've come a long way from just precursor molecules a few billions years ago and that amazing story is greater than anything written in any religious text.

    As confusedagno says, once you have the knowledge that religion doesn't come from the heavens, then there is no turning back.
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #51 - July 09, 2014, 05:33 AM
    Initially my reason to leave Islam was purely emotional. Then I took up the responsibility to research about Islam and I was surprised by my findings on both Islamic and anti-Islamic sites. It is an awful religion. My anger was also towards other faiths because even theirs seem illogical and if their God was true, He was responsible for the issues in my life that is breaking me down.

    See emotional reasons aren't always bad. But saying that leaving purely for emotional reasons is bad is also incorrect. I believe in doing what my mind tells me.
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #52 - July 09, 2014, 05:46 AM
    You can start by feeling uneasy about islam and then look at it in an intellectual way, nothing wrong with that.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #53 - July 10, 2014, 03:13 PM
    Quote from: Trustworthy on June 14, 2014, 08:36 PM
    I see the same difference in the way my sister 'left' Islam (not sure if she is a non-Muslim now) and the way I did. She got tired of all the rules and hated not being able to do what she liked, hated the fights at home that were the result of this. She also just woke up one day and left the house.


    I think that is as powerful a reason as any. In the end, none of us can dismiss our emotions.
    As a matter of fact, there is a certain strength your sister showed that is 'better' the intellectual arguments many of us might make.

    She looked at her life. Didn't like it and left it. She confronted all the pressure to be a good girl, stay inside the family, make her parents happy, to obey religious rules... That's more emotional strength than many of us intellectual ex-Muslims have. It is just this ramadan that I feel okay eating and drinking in front of all Muslims during ramadan. Many of us still hide in our families or think we are showing respect by not respecting ourselves.

    She freed herself from the whole thing and was willing to sacrifice it all for her life. That aspect of her emotional strength will serve her better in her life out of Islam than any intellectual.

    Not to dismiss the intellectual side. Maybe she still finds some comfort in god or whatever or she might reinterpret everything to be nice Islam. But I think we should all appreciate the emotional strength of character that she has that many of us don't, and that is just as needed in the way out of Islam as intellect.

  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #54 - July 10, 2014, 03:15 PM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on July 09, 2014, 05:46 AM
    You can start by feeling uneasy about islam and then look at it in an intellectual way, nothing wrong with that.


    You can, but we are all deeply influenced by sways of emotions. If you dislike something, you're obviously going to start researching with a biased mindset.
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #55 - July 10, 2014, 03:39 PM
    I don't think it's necessarily biased, when I started researching I made sure to look at both sides objectively, and it took me a while to decide which one made more sense, more because of my emotional attachment to islam.
    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • Leaving Islam for emotional or intellectual reasons
     Reply #56 - July 12, 2014, 04:57 AM
    My first reasons for leaving islam were purely emotional but it opened my eyes to see all the mistakes there are in islam. If not for emotions, i probably wouldn't realise them. You can start from emotions and move to intellectual reasons.
  • Previous page 1 2« Previous thread | Next thread »