Thanks - I enjoyed reading your story, I hope you enjoy your stay here. When did you finally admit to yourself you were an exmuslim - Have you told any other Muslims yet?
The Muslims that know about this are the ex muslim mentioned in my story and 2 of my quite religious nieces. One of them doesn't accept it and spams me constantly with "you will burn in hell". The other is a bit older and more understanding. She understands my doubt, but whenever she has the opportunity, she will try to prove once again the truth about Islam. Her last attempt was the conversion of Cat Stevens and Neil Armstrong (of which the latter turned out to be fake) and of course, the miracles of the quran, instant classic.
I admitted it to myself right after the thought that Muhammad was not a messenger of God, which happened about 4 months ago.
@Cheetah: I try to talk as less as possible with him. The fact that during the week I'm staying in my dorm in the city where I study helps. But the longterm problems remain; for example I have a girlfriend of 3 years now, which he knows of. He assumes I'm going to raise my children Muslim, and that she also will convert to Islam. But obviously I don't want that. This is really a major issue, and I graduate in 2 years so time is getting short...