Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)

1« Previous thread | Next thread »
- Shahid Raza
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
OP - April 22, 2010, 12:15 AM

Did any of you think that the brotherly or sisterly love in Islam was a bit OTT at times?

For example, it's common in almost every society to shake someones hand when you meet them, but when I was a Muslim I felt obliged to shake my fellow Muslims hand almost all the time!

I remember in the canteen in college/uni a lot of my Muslim friends used to sit around one table and when anyone else joined them they first used to shake everyones hand at the table before they sat down. Lest you miss anyone out!

I remember I used to feel a bit silly shaking every single brothers hand before I sat down, and I used to wonder what the onlooking non-Muslims were thinking.

Also, I know it's supposed to be a very kind gesture to call someone your "brother", but Muslims do it so much that they've almost demoted the real definition of the word brother, ie your biological brother.

One time I was having a conversation with a Muslim and he introduced me to his "brother", and I said "Oh is that your brother"?... and he then said... "Yes he's my brother in Islam"... and I just thought... "Oh".

Furthermore, I also disagree with calling every Muslim female your "sister". The terminology begins to gets slightly disturbing when a Muslim brother looks for a nice "sister" to get married to...

Again, I know it's supposed to be a very nice gesture to call them your sister and the intention is supposed to be good, but I just don't agree with it.

Do you guys have any other examples or experiences?

.
- Shahid Raza
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #1 - April 22, 2010, 12:17 AM

The triple hug on Eid is alright though. That's only once/twice a year.

.
- billy
- Pub Regular
- Tripitaka ~ Closet Juice
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #2 - April 22, 2010, 12:21 AM

Over use of 'brother' just cheapens it as an endearment. Calling a lady you don't know 'sister' just seemed a little off to me. Plus, only using the word for Muslims suggests non Muslims cannot be your brother, which is very sad, but leads to the conclusion that the whole 'brother', 'sister' thing is just a means to creating an exclusivist group mentality vibe.

"we can smell traitors and country haters"

Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
God is Love.
Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
- MoeAlharbi
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #3 - April 22, 2010, 12:24 AM

Yeah, we call them brothers and sisters because Islam says we are all children of Adam. I don't like to think that when it comes to looking for girls. Besides, "brothers in Islam" does not work for me. I know non-muslim people who are better than some muslim people. I hate it when religion tells you who are your friends and who are not.

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
Can't it be, can't it be mine

https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
- Cool Canadian
- Ex-Muslim
- Don't mess with raccoon Mario
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #4 - April 22, 2010, 02:32 AM

I remember the 3 hug thing from Eid. I didn't mind.

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
~Sir Richard Francis Burton

"I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
~RIBS
- Iraqi Atheist
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #5 - April 22, 2010, 02:35 AM

What three hug thing?
- Cool Canadian
- Ex-Muslim
- Don't mess with raccoon Mario
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #6 - April 22, 2010, 02:37 AM

Quote from: Iraqi Atheist on April 22, 2010, 02:35 AM
What three hug thing?

You know on Eid, you hug a brother 3 times, right left right.

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
~Sir Richard Francis Burton

"I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
~RIBS
- MoeAlharbi
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #7 - April 22, 2010, 02:41 AM

oh that's more of a kiss. Kinda like what italians do

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
Can't it be, can't it be mine

https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
- Cool Canadian
- Ex-Muslim
- Don't mess with raccoon Mario
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #8 - April 22, 2010, 02:43 AM

Quote from: MoeAlharbi on April 22, 2010, 02:41 AM
oh that's more of a kiss. Kinda like what italians do

Haraam brother, HARAAAAAAM

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
~Sir Richard Francis Burton

"I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
~RIBS
- Iraqi Atheist
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #9 - April 22, 2010, 02:46 AM

Never heard of it. It's not a custom in Iraq.
- allat
- Euphoria
- Administrator
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #10 - April 22, 2010, 06:13 AM

I remember a couple of times asking my mom about this... the convo went something like this (I'm paraphrasing from memory)

me (age 7 or so, before I learned anything about sex): "why do people call each other brother and sister when they're not related?"

mom: "because we're all children of the same adam and eve and god made us all like brothers and sisters. and it's nice to have so many brothers and sisters, no?"

me: "well. what about when they get married? are they still brothers and sisters then?"

mom: "um. no. eat your veggies."

{fast forward a few years, after I learned about sex, reproduction etc.}

me: "so, wait, what about that guy who keeps flirting with me but calls me sister? what if we got married? won't that be weird, to go from calling someone your sister to having sex with her?"

mom: "shut up! Allah Mian! this girl asks too many questions!"

"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
- BerberElla
- Class A'sexual
- Creator Goddess
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #11 - April 22, 2010, 06:41 AM

I never went for the whole brothers and sisters of islam thing, nor did I salam them properly. 1 - I don't like physical contact with people I don't really know, 2 - even if I know you, I don't want you to come to close to me unless I've known you for years and 3 - I never liked any of them anyway.

I could walk into a room full of my so called sisters in islam back then, and see every one of them as my gossiping backstabbing frenemy, so I would just rudely give a one wave to cover the whole room, and sit down. When confronted about my rudeness by anyone I would just reply that I hated touching people, I would be lectured about how allah said muslims should always salam other muslims, and I would just give the lecturer a dead uninterested gaze.

I've always had trust issues, so no one is my sister or brother in the naive sense islam would have me believe.

Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
- RIBS
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #12 - April 22, 2010, 06:43 AM

Quote from: allat on April 22, 2010, 06:13 AM
I remember a couple of times asking my mom about this... the convo went something like this (I'm paraphrasing from memory)

me (age 7 or so, before I learned anything about sex): "why do people call each other brother and sister when they're not related?"

mom: "because we're all children of the same adam and eve and god made us all like brothers and sisters. and it's nice to have so many brothers and sisters, no?"

me: "well. what about when they get married? are they still brothers and sisters then?"

mom: "um. no. eat your veggies."

{fast forward a few years, after I learned about sex, reproduction etc.}

me: "so, wait, what about that guy who keeps flirting with me but calls me sister? what if we got married? won't that be weird, to go from calling someone your sister to having sex with her?"

mom: "shut up! Allah Mian! this girl asks too many questions!"

at Allat, that was funny

...
- A
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #13 - April 22, 2010, 04:33 PM

I have to do the whole three hug/kiss thing every time I meet someone. D=
- Sir Wankalot
- Pub Regular
- small, furry and brown
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #14 - April 22, 2010, 06:45 PM

Jehovah's witnesses are big into this whole brother, sister malarky too. I've always hated it for the same reasons mentioned above. It's so fakey coz it cheapens the real meaning of the words... it's a term used for someone that you are really close to.. not every damn stranger is automatically your brother or sister just because they share some religion with you.
And obviously, getting married just makes it all feel ick.... like some strange inbred custom. I dont know which other religions are like this as well
- Saif Rahman
- Ex-Muslim
- Je suis Haram
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #15 - April 22, 2010, 08:00 PM

Quote from: Iraqi Atheist on April 22, 2010, 02:46 AM
Never heard of it. It's not a custom in Iraq.

I have learned so many things that I thought were Islamic, were in fact cultural.

Here's the ~~traditional~~ cultural Eid greeting he was talking about, @ 0.31

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt8A9iYi7Kg

My Book
My Blog
- MoeAlharbi
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #16 - April 22, 2010, 08:13 PM

cool, so Pakis and Arabs do it differently, huh?

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
Can't it be, can't it be mine

https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
- Saif Rahman
- Ex-Muslim
- Je suis Haram
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #17 - April 22, 2010, 08:43 PM

dunno, thats how I thought Arabs, in fact all muslims, did it?

My Book
My Blog
- sojournerlumus
- Pub Regular
- Belief beggars reason.
- offline
Re: Brotherly love in Islam (and sisterly love!)
Reply #18 - April 22, 2010, 08:54 PM

I think all repressive societies have overly ritualised greeting ceremonies: it reduces agression between individuals.
It' can be connected to behaviours and even to things like lack of space, as in Japan where over-ornate bowing, etc serves the purpose.

Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
1« Previous thread | Next thread »