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Theme Changer

 Poll

  • Question: Which is more offensive/pervy? (the question is in the OP)
  • A
  • B
  • C

 Topic: Sexual Double Standards

 (Read 9107 times)
  • 12 3 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Sexual Double Standards
     OP - June 03, 2010, 07:23 PM
    I was thinking about the double standards in attitudes toward the sexuality of men and women.
     
    I'll start the discussion with this question: which is more offensive/pervy ?

    A- A woman invites her new neighbour to her apartment for a cup of coffee. Then she goes to the bathroom, comes out naked and suggests having sex.
    B- A man invites his new neighbor to his apartment for a cup of coffee. Then he goes to the bathroom, comes out naked and suggests having sex.
    C- Equally pervy (if you think neither are pervy or offensive vote C also)

    Which is more offensive? would you regard any or both of them as sexual assault? if so which one and why not the other?
    I personally think the second is more pervy and more offensive  Don't know why it just feels that way.

    (now cast your vote in the poll)

    Also, which would surprise you more, the guy in A taking up the offer? or the girl in B?
    I would be less surprised if the guy took the offer. Again it just feels that way.
    How do you think this double standard originated? does it all come down to biology and evolution? or is there more to it?
    Is this double standard good? or bad? should we just accept it, actively maintain it, or try to change it?


    Which leads me to talk about sex in general. I've noticed that a guy who has sex with a lot of girls is considered a stud but a girl who has sex with a lot of guys would be considered a slut.
    Why is that? is it not fair? where did it originate? is it partly because the male has traditionally been expected to do the courting? does this boil down to the the victorious predator vs. the defeated prey? also, what's with the obsession with virgins?


    Another question, why do most dads encourage their sons sexual endeavors and are even proud of them while they're not nearly as excited about their daughters' sexual lives?
    This of course is exacerbated in Muslim communities but it surely isn't just a Muslim thing.

    Again where did this double standard originate? Is it partly because traditionally, women have been seen as the objects in the act of sex while men are the subjects (I mean that in a grammatical sense BTW)? is it a remnant of our religiously-based mindset? or is it something else?


  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #1 - June 03, 2010, 07:28 PM
    It's just the way it is.
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #2 - June 03, 2010, 07:37 PM
    Both equally pervy.

    Quote
    I would be less surprised if the guy took the offer. Again it just feels that way.
    How do you think this double standard originated? does it all come down to biology and evolution? or is there more to it?

    It's not a double standard, just that guys are more stimulated by sight.
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #3 - June 03, 2010, 07:38 PM
    Quote from: Iraqi Atheist on June 03, 2010, 07:23 PM
    B- A man invites his new neighbor for a cup of coffee and then whips his dick out and suggests having sex.


    Did this happen to you Huh?
    It's alright if it did.  You're safe here  grin12.
    "A good man is so hard to find but a hard man is so good to find"
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #4 - June 03, 2010, 07:45 PM
    I don't think human nature can ever be pin pointed to a single cause or factor. It is highly likely that such viewpoints or outlooks are the result of a combination of several factors, many of which you have already highlighted.

    Some of these ingrained bias are slowly changing. Most progressive people these days might appreciate a sexually liberated woman. Some types of bias are a lot harder to shift, like the man being viewed as a pervert if he asks a woman for sex.
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #5 - June 03, 2010, 07:54 PM
    Good question (I voted B) btw but to answer your questions in true DeFlunker style...

    "I have no answer"
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  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #6 - June 03, 2010, 08:04 PM
    I think it's because the man can be seen as a predator. If the woman gets angry and he holds on to her. Compared to if a woman tries to hold on to a man. I'm talking average strength, average people, no weapons. Not 300 lbs Sumaiya who wants you to eat twinkies out of her belly-button (god I'm never moving back to that area).

    But I think both can be seen as sexually offensive depending on the context. I mean there are many other factors but yeah in general I think people would worry more about the woman wanting to get the fuck out. Which means there is a stereotype (and with the amounts of rapes that happen I can understand it) that it is likely for a man to behave in this manner.

    Also, there is a general consensus that no straight man would complain about being forced to have sex with a woman. And honestly, if I'm single.. and there is no weird shit going on then why the fuck not.

    I mean if I one day woke up with a girl licking my balls I'd ask her to marry me and not call the cops on her like some other men have done. Why can't I ever met the right girl?  wacko

    As for the virgin thing and stud thing. I think this came from when men priests took over. Women's menstruation was seen as filthy and I think female promiscuity was next in line. A threat to man. To our piety. Another prejudice that a man can't keep his penis in his pants.

    A stud falls under the rebel label. Somebody that does what other people want to do but don't have the guts to. And its an image that is created by society, which I guess is more difficult to label. But I guess its whatever taboos that have been created in that society and that are broken.
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #7 - June 03, 2010, 08:48 PM
    Quote from: Iraqi Atheist on June 03, 2010, 07:23 PM
    Again where did this double standard originate? Is it partly because traditionally, women have been seen as the objects in the act of sex while men are the subjects (I mean that in a grammatical sense BTW)? is it a remnant of our religiously-based mindset? or is it something else?


    I gonna take a stab at this.  
    Women have always been Men's weakness.  Men have always seen women as seductresses. Im sure there are tales about men who forsake everything for females.  Zeus (Greek mythology) could not control his lust for human females even though he was married to Hera.  The battle of Troy was fought over...A WOMAN!  In Islam females are considered sex objects...that's why they have to cover themselves so men dont get turned on. Although, I doubt religion has anything to do with it.  Somewhere along history MEN put them as sex workers (prostitutes) and kept them at that stature for generations. Czars, Emperors, European Kings, Rajas, Sultans would have Harems (prostitutes) of females. But things havent changed much since then.  To this day, females who have the nerve to have a brain and speak out men say, "yeh, she's whore" "what a cunt" "slut". I think there was a thread about Pamela Gellar and someone in this forum "cunt" or "slut" or something like that, instead of attacking her arguements it was easier to call her that. why?  But the truth of the matter is MEN put females in this position to the point where sex literally sells.  What's a woman in bikini have anything to do with selling cars or motorcycles?  This makes f Strip clubs, Hooters, naked beaches (yuck), wet t-shirt contests. Even females call other females whores because it's just that easy.
     I have a lot to say on this subject and i could go on and on but...the men in the forum wouldnt like me afterwards so I shall leave it at this.  Hope my opinion helps.
    "A good man is so hard to find but a hard man is so good to find"
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #8 - June 03, 2010, 08:52 PM
    Quote from: Saathiya on June 03, 2010, 08:48 PM
    I gonna take a stab at this.  
    Women have always been Men's weakness.  Men have always seen women as seductresses. Im sure there are tales about men who forsake everything for females.  Zeus (Greek mythology) could not control his lust for human females even though he was married to Hera.  The battle of Troy was fought over...A WOMAN!  In Islam females are considered sex objects...that's why they have to cover themselves so men dont get turned on. Although, I doubt religion has anything to do with it.  Somewhere along history MEN put them as sex workers (prostitutes) and kept them at that stature for generations. Czars, Emperors, European Kings, Rajas, Sultans would have Harems (prostitutes) of females. But things havent changed much since then.  To this day, females who have the nerve to have a brain and speak out men say, "yeh, she's whore" "what a cunt" "slut". I think there was a thread about Pamela Gellar and someone in this forum "cunt" or "slut" or something like that, instead of attacking her arguements it was easier to call her that. why?  But the truth of the matter is MEN put females in this position to the point where sex literally sells.  What's a woman in bikini have anything to do with selling cars or motorcycles?  This makes f Strip clubs, Hooters, naked beaches (yuck), wet t-shirt contests. Even females call other females whores because it's just that easy.
     I have a lot to say on this subject and i could go on and on but...the men in the forum wouldnt like me afterwards so I shall leave it at this.  Hope my opinion helps.


    Isn't that last line presumptuous of you? Why not women? And so what if guys don't like you? Fuck em. Those dicks.

    (see what I did there?)
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #9 - June 03, 2010, 09:01 PM
    Quote from: Saathiya on June 03, 2010, 08:48 PM
    I gonna take a stab at this.  
    Women have always been Men's weakness.  Men have always seen women as seductresses. Im sure there are tales about men who forsake everything for females.  Zeus (Greek mythology) could not control his lust for human females even though he was married to Hera.  The battle of Troy was fought over...A WOMAN!  In Islam females are considered sex objects...that's why they have to cover themselves so men dont get turned on. Although, I doubt religion has anything to do with it.  Somewhere along history MEN put them as sex workers (prostitutes) and kept them at that stature for generations. Czars, Emperors, European Kings, Rajas, Sultans would have Harems (prostitutes) of females. But things havent changed much since then.  To this day, females who have the nerve to have a brain and speak out men say, "yeh, she's whore" "what a cunt" "slut". I think there was a thread about Pamela Gellar and someone in this forum "cunt" or "slut" or something like that, instead of attacking her arguements it was easier to call her that. why?  But the truth of the matter is MEN put females in this position to the point where sex literally sells.  What's a woman in bikini have anything to do with selling cars or motorcycles?  This makes f Strip clubs, Hooters, naked beaches (yuck), wet t-shirt contests. Even females call other females whores because it's just that easy.
     I have a lot to say on this subject and i could go on and on but...the men in the forum wouldnt like me afterwards so I shall leave it at this.  Hope my opinion helps.

    Well said  Afro
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  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #10 - June 03, 2010, 09:14 PM
    D- Equally awesome (after sexual orientation and prudishness adjustment)  Cheesy

    If I'm being honest, it would depend on the person and the situation. It's a bit of a gamble exposing yourself to someone you don't know very well, after all. Tongue
    Each of us a failed state in stark relief against the backdrop of the perfect worlds we seek.
    Propagandhi - Failed States
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #11 - June 03, 2010, 09:15 PM
    Has any male or female done it or got funny stories to tell about exposing themselves?
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  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #12 - June 03, 2010, 09:30 PM
    Quote from: IsLame on June 03, 2010, 09:15 PM
    Has any male or female done it or got funny stories to tell about exposing themselves?

    Sorry, it's a condition of my bail that I don't discuss incidents which may lead me to re-offend.
    Each of us a failed state in stark relief against the backdrop of the perfect worlds we seek.
    Propagandhi - Failed States
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #13 - June 03, 2010, 11:32 PM
    Quote from: Abood on June 03, 2010, 07:37 PM
    Both equally pervy.
    It's not a double standard, just that guys are more stimulated by sight.

    The votes prove there is a double standard. Whether this double standard is good or bad is another discussion.


    Quote from: Saathiya on June 03, 2010, 07:38 PM
    Did this happen to you Huh?
    It's alright if it did.  You're safe here  grin12.

      Grin
    I started thinking about this when I was reading about Ben Rothlisberger's sexual assault allegations.


    Quote from: BlackDog on June 03, 2010, 08:04 PM
    Also, there is a general consensus that no straight man would complain about being forced to have sex with a woman. And honestly, if I'm single.. and there is no weird shit going on then why the fuck not.

    This is my main point. Why is there a consensus that a man wants to have sex with you unless proven otherwise?
    Why is it normal (and for some even desirable) that the girl plays hard to get? you know make him wait until the Xth date and whatever..


    Quote from: BlackDog on June 03, 2010, 08:04 PM
    I mean if I one day woke up with a girl licking my balls I'd ask her to marry me and not call the cops on her like some other men have done. Why can't I ever met the right girl?  wacko

     Cheesy you never fail to crack me up even when you don't intend to.


    Quote from: Saathiya on June 03, 2010, 08:48 PM
    I have a lot to say on this subject and i could go on and on but...the men in the forum wouldnt like me afterwards so I shall leave it at this.  Hope my opinion helps.

    That was a valuable input Saathiya so please feel free to say what's on your mind. I can't speak for men but I didn't find your post offensive at all.


    Quote from: IsLame on June 03, 2010, 09:15 PM
    Has any male or female done it or got funny stories to tell about exposing themselves?

    Whoever goes first gets this cake:

  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #14 - June 03, 2010, 11:46 PM
    Quote
    How do you think this double standard originated? does it all come down to biology and evolution? or is there more to it?
    Is this double standard good? or bad? should we just accept it, actively maintain it, or try to change it?


    I would say biology plays a large part of it and economical issues are the driving force behind changing viewpoints ( almost to the point of being dependent on them).  Men don't take a large risk for having sex while women do.  In earlier times, getting cuckolded has a major issue because for a male to invest time, energy, and resources into a baby to further the blood lines ( or genes) required a large investment while the cuckholder risked nothing ( except death from the deceived male).  This lead to the conservative viewpoint that most religions and cultures espoused early on of " protecting" women, guarding them etc ( really just protecting the investment).  As the the risk of pregnancy decreased though the pill and the economic status of women increased though the industrial revolution and the information revolution women generally aren't "out of commission" as long as they would have been in a antiquated time.  This leads to a more ambivalent reaction to "protecting women" and their sexual status. 

    This means that the sexual double standard really wont ever completely disappear because of the inequality in the sexes in regards to pregnancy, childbirth, and child rearing, but the higher the economic level of women the lesser the sigma will occur. 
    So once again I'm left with the classic Irish man's dilemma, do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?
    My political philosophy below
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwGat4i8pJI&feature=g-vrec
    Just kidding, here are some true heros
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBTgvK6LQqA
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #15 - June 03, 2010, 11:46 PM
    I think societal norms have conditioned us to see men as being more likely to be the transgressors (linking back to their role as protecters(ironically), hunters) than women. This has been intensified with women having a worse deal than men throughout history and into present day where there is still an abundance of females making a living out of their looks/bodies.  To further illustrate my point, a man who has multiple partners, as IA pointed out, is called a 'stud', a 'player': someone who is admired to a certain extent. I think this ties back to primative tendencies of men vering their fertility as testimony of their masculinity.Yes, it is double standards and I can imagine a man getting offended for being thought of as simply wanting quick sensual gratifications when with women compared to the attitude of females but a great number of us are results of our socialisation and that is something which is difficult to alter.
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #16 - June 03, 2010, 11:51 PM
    Quote from: deusvult on June 03, 2010, 11:46 PM
    I would say biology plays a large part of it and economical issues are the driving force behind changing viewpoints ( almost to the point of being dependent on them).  Men don't take a large risk for having sex while women do.  In earlier times, getting cuckolded has a major issue because for a male to invest time, energy, and resources into a baby to further the blood lines ( or genes) required a large investment while the cuckholder risked nothing ( except death from the deceived male).  This lead to the conservative viewpoint that most religions and cultures espoused early on of " protecting" women, guarding them etc ( really just protecting the investment).  As the the risk of pregnancy decreased though the pill and the economic status of women increased though the industrial revolution and the information revolution women generally aren't "out of commission" as long as they would have been in a antiquated time.  This leads to a more ambivalent reaction to "protecting women" and their sexual status. 

    This means that the sexual double standard really wont ever completely disappear because of the inequality in the sexes in regards to pregnancy, childbirth, and child rearing, but the higher the economic level of women the lesser the sigma will occur. 

    +1
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  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #17 - June 04, 2010, 12:15 AM
    neither is offensive or pervy, if the attention is welcomed. if it's not then it's trouble. hot coffee and an exposed penis do not bode well
    If you ask me to define anything i will slap you with my pimp hand and make you cry like a biatch.

    Nick Naylor: "I didn't have to. I proved that you're wrong, and if you're wrong I'm right."~ Thank you for Smoking

    Perspective
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #18 - June 04, 2010, 12:30 AM
    Quote
    neither is offensive or pervy, if the attention is welcomed. if it's not then it's trouble. hot coffee and an exposed penis do not bode well


     thnkyu yes
    "If intelligence is feminine... I would want that mine would, in a resolute movement, come to resemble an impious woman."
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #19 - June 04, 2010, 12:39 AM
    B is more pervy.

    Reminds me of when I was at school. A 14 year old classmate (a boy) had sex with a 28 year old woman. To us he was the biggest legend. In my sister's school, a 16 year old girl was going out with a 30 year old. To them she was a gold-digging hoe and he was a sick fuck.

    In bonobo society it's not pervy perhaps because females are more socially powerful, or perhaps it's because they like to fuck a lot. Maybe as women become more equal I'll feel differently about it. Or maybe women are less into shit like this. I don't know. Certainly women are less into porn especially the more unusual fare.

    I have this double standard too. It's an emotional response but in theory I agree with Human Target.
    The language of the mob was only the language of public opinion cleansed of hypocrisy and restraint - Hannah Arendt.
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #20 - June 04, 2010, 02:57 AM
    Quote from: Iraqi Atheist on June 03, 2010, 11:32 PM
    The votes prove there is a double standard. Whether this double standard is good or bad is another discussion.

    Like I said, I think they're both equally pervy. It's just a matter of whether the other person consents to it--and a guy is more likely to consent to a girl suddenly showing up naked than vice versa.
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #21 - June 04, 2010, 03:09 AM
    i voted for c.

    Quote
    A- A woman invites her new neighbour to her apartment for a cup of coffee. Then she goes to the bathroom, comes out naked and suggests having sex.


    but i wish i had this type of neighbors   Cry
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #22 - June 04, 2010, 03:37 AM
    Quote from: Abood on June 04, 2010, 02:57 AM
    Like I said, I think they're both equally pervy. It's just a matter of whether the other person consents to it--and a guy is more likely to consent to a girl suddenly showing up naked than vice versa.

    That is basically my main point. You just put it another way. Instead of saying the guy is on average less likely to get offended by it you said he's more likely to consent to it. Pretty much the same thing.

    The perviness of the act is not judged only by the act per se but by the reaction to it as well. I agree with your explanation which is that guys are more stimulated by sight. But I think there's more to it than that.

  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #23 - June 04, 2010, 03:43 AM
    Is it acceptable to seduce a girl? I think it is. That's just one way of seducing guys.
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #24 - June 04, 2010, 03:56 AM
    I know. Which begs the question why is it more acceptable for a woman to seduce guys by getting naked than it is for a guy who seduces women by getting naked? is it just because guys are more stimulated by sight? or is there more to it?
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #25 - June 04, 2010, 03:59 AM
    Well, I don't think there is, but you do, so what's your theory?
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #26 - June 04, 2010, 04:01 AM
    Quote from: Iraqi Atheist on June 04, 2010, 03:56 AM
    I know. Which begs the question why is it more acceptable for a woman to seduce guys by getting naked than it is for a guy who seduces women by getting naked? is it just because guys are more stimulated by sight? or is there more to it?

    how about looks?
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #27 - June 04, 2010, 04:22 AM
    Looks is part of it. But I think we've been socially programmed to think that a guy almost always wants sex and the sooner the better. This is considered common sense now. While a girl is almost always looking for something else. Be it a good personality, a sense of humor, kindness....etc. This is because we men like to think that sexually we need women more than they need us (which is not true btw) but we like to think that way because:
    • It justifies our failures at getting girls
    • It makes it like a competition for us. Like we need to do this and that and say this and that to win the girl. So when we do get her we get to feel that sense of victory and pride. In order to satisfy our ego which is hurt by the fact that we generally are not good at getting girls  grin12

    How about that?  Wink

  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #28 - June 04, 2010, 06:17 AM
    Quite ironic, considering if you know girls think about sex as much as guys, you can talk about sex ---> better chance of getting laid.
  • Re: Sexual Double Standards
     Reply #29 - June 04, 2010, 06:20 AM
    What? You mean talk about sex with girls?
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