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Theme Changer

 Topic: How do you handle depression?

 (Read 110477 times)
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  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #30 - June 22, 2010, 09:13 AM

    I have been having depression since I was 15. I'm almost 20 and it's still getting worse. Makes me feel like absolute shit, and those suicidal moments are the worst, I know. But I try not to let it show, neither in the forum nor in the real world. I also have a severe stutter, and social anxiety. But whatever.
    But hey! at least you got friends near you! My friends and family are all in Saudi. I'm completely alone here you know. So cherish what you have!
    I'm going to a clinic soon to ask how to find a doctor to help me with my depression. Thanks to free Canadian healthcare!
    Anyways, I think you should see one too.

    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
    In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
    Can't it be, can't it be mine

    https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #31 - June 22, 2010, 09:14 AM

    Hey Moe is there no fix for a stutter?  Cry
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #32 - June 22, 2010, 09:26 AM

    nope, it's hereditary unfortunately. There are different ways to control it, but none seemed to have worked yet. I have been to many speech therapy programs, CRAP CRAP CRAP.
    But when I sing, it's TOTALLY different.
    People ask me "why don't you sing out the words then?"
    Honestly! What kind of stupid question is that? When you sing, you already know the words. Talking is different, you have to come up with words as you go along. Plus I can't focus on what I want to say when I'm busy finding the right tune.

    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
    In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
    Can't it be, can't it be mine

    https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #33 - June 22, 2010, 09:27 AM

    That is so weird, the singing I mean. I never understood that.
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #34 - June 22, 2010, 09:31 AM

    Since I was depressed myself, I will tell you what worked for me:

    1) Meds.
    The first time I was depressed I made the mistake of not wanting meds. It took me years to recover.
    The second time I gave up and took meds, and I recovered very quickly.
    Yay for chemistry!

    2) Fitness. Sport. Fatigue.
    Lately I can stay very happy and stable by working out, lifting weights, swimming.
    The more I "destroy" my body with physical fatigue, the better my brain feels.
    So I try to work out and swim 1km at least every other day, even if initially my mind does not feel like it ;P

    That's all ^_^

    Do not look directly at the operational end of the device.
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #35 - June 22, 2010, 09:32 AM

    That is so weird, the singing I mean. I never understood that.

    know what else is weird? I also don't stutter when I'm alone and talking to a camera... but I have to be alone! That's another reason why I bought my camcorder. If I ever post my Imam interviews, you'll see exactly what I mean.

    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
    In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
    Can't it be, can't it be mine

    https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #36 - June 22, 2010, 09:38 AM

    Hm that is weird  wacko

    Is it only singing, or rapping as well?
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #37 - June 22, 2010, 09:40 AM

    Oh I can rap too!

    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
    In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
    Can't it be, can't it be mine

    https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #38 - June 22, 2010, 09:41 AM

    Grin

    I hope it works out one day. What happens if you imagine you are singing the words? Or rapping them? And try to talk with your outside voice but whilst trying to imitate your inside voice?
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #39 - June 22, 2010, 09:59 AM

    there's no imagining, you're either singing/rapping (aka: have lyrics already prepared in your head), or talking (forming words while saying a sentence).

    This is how I stutter:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2k-Ir4B0gg


    And when I rap, I always like to show off with this Afro:


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnWLw2-xRDg

    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
    In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
    Can't it be, can't it be mine

    https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #40 - June 22, 2010, 10:00 AM

    know what else is weird? I also don't stutter when I'm alone and talking to a camera... but I have to be alone! That's another reason why I bought my camcorder. If I ever post my Imam interviews, you'll see exactly what I mean.

    I am sure if you remain dedicated to working through it you will sort it relieve yourself eventually from it.  I have heard stories from so many people that have..

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #41 - June 22, 2010, 10:10 AM

    If you know more than one language: do you tend to stutter equally in every language?

    Do not look directly at the operational end of the device.
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #42 - June 22, 2010, 10:18 PM

    Hey LuckyTShirt

    I'm sorry that you're suffering with depression, it's a horrible condition, often made worse because we cannot find any cause for why we are feeling depressed. The thing is that there is always a reason/trigger, it's just that we don't realise it.

    I suffered with depression for about 3-4 years. I say that, and hate to be a downer, but depression actually is a lot like heart disease. If you "have" it (and don't feel bad, around 10% of the population has it at some point - I believe it is more than this) you are more often than not pretty much stuck with it for life. It is all about managing it, keeping it in check, not allowing it to control your life.

    I would echo the excellent posts of zoomi, BerberElla and Aurora. My experience of dealing with depression is so far completely based on counselling rather than medication, but different things work for different people. I was lucky in that I had an excellent counsellor, who did some basic CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) with me. This is basically just sitting in a room challenging negative thoughts. This will sound crazy, but we even role-played a discussion where the she was my mother and I was me, and I was telling her how I wanted to leave Islam. The actual discussion with my mother took place about a year later.

    I would particularly agree with zoomi's point about volunteering and Aurora's point about interacting with people. You mentioned you recently left Christianity. Did you mainly interact with Christians before? I know that as Muslim, I didn't trust any non-Muslims, and this made me quite isolated and as a result, I was lacking many basic social skills.

    I would also say that exercise is a wonderful weapon (perhaps the best all-rounder) in keeping depression at bay. The funny thing is, that we depressives often place high goals for ourselves which we can never reach. If you do exercise, make sure you do it purely for the enjoyment and don't be too hard on yourself. The reason exercise is so great is that it releases endorphins and makes us feel better about ourselves.

    Finally, a fantastic book on depression which I read when I was going through the worst of it was "Undoing Depression" by O'Connor. This is a slightly outdated book, but it is really straightforward, and has some really useful thought exercises which can help you better understand your negative thoughts and feelings and as a result you can learn how to challenge those negative thoughts and feelings.

    I hope that helps. As I say, I'm not by any means "over" depression, but like zoomi I feel like I have been kicking its ass for about a year now. I still get lows, but I can now manage those lows and bring myself back out. I cannot stress zoomi's list enough. Volunteering/exercise really works for me and continues to.







  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #43 - June 22, 2010, 11:19 PM

    Great advice by all in this thread. Afro

    For most people who are depressed to the point where nothing motivates, nothing feels good anymore, I'd highly recommend meds as well. Talk to a physician, or better yet, a psychiatrist. They'll start you off on lower doses and see how you respond and take it from there.

    Sometimes, after a few years, the meds will stop working, that's a crucial point. Basically, as a good psychiatrist friend explained to me, anti-depressants will help you keep your "head above water". You still have to do things to better your life, to find creative outlets, to take care of yourself in every way. But anti-deps are a great last resort to help you have the energy and clarity of mind to even begin to improve your life.

    Besides meds, some other things mentioned in this thread also help me a great deal:

    1: Exercise - any type of exercise that makes you sweat, makes you breathe deeply.

    2: Creative expression - whatever suits your fancy will be fine. Could be painting, photography, writing, playing guitar or another musical instrument, singing, creating collages etc. It should be an activity you do *away from the computer* and while using your hands or parts of your body.

    3: Education - Like Berbs said, going back to school has done wonders for my emotional state.

    4: Humour - watching funny things, hanging out around funny people and taking improv/comedy classes are also good ideas. It's not easy to perform, but even if someone reading this doesn't want to do that, watching comedies on tv or better yet on stage can be helpful. Laughter releases certain hormones in our brains that counteract the deficiencies that accompany depression.

    5: Animals - Like Aurora, being around animals is very comforting and relaxing and I'd recommend that too for anyone who is feeling depressed. Animals are very communicative and generous (especially dogs and cats, but also horses, and other animals) and can provide a source of non-verbal comfort, which is often what depressed people need.

    6: Clearing/cleaning out closets - I find that this helps me too... about twice a year I go through the closets and clean out everything we haven't used in a few months. It makes room for new things (an exciting thought) and it just feels clearer and more breathable in those rooms.

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #44 - June 22, 2010, 11:28 PM

    Is there anyone on this forum who's mentally balanced??  wacko
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #45 - June 22, 2010, 11:28 PM

     Cheesy

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #46 - June 22, 2010, 11:30 PM

     Cheesy

    Mentally balanced means being aware of your own mental issues, and open to learning ways to deal with them. Because, as much as some people love to deny it, we all have issues. As Mark Twain said: "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." Wink

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #47 - June 22, 2010, 11:33 PM

    Cheesy

    Mentally balanced means being aware of your own mental issues, and open to learning ways to deal with them. Because, as much as some people love to deny it, we all have issues. As Mark Twain said: "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." Wink


    Some more than others Wink


    "The ideal tyranny is that which is ignorantly self-administered by its victims. The most perfect slaves are, therefore, those which blissfully and unawaredly enslave themselves."
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #48 - June 22, 2010, 11:36 PM

    Great idea z10 Afro

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #49 - June 22, 2010, 11:51 PM

    Great idea z10 Afro

    What idea?

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #50 - June 22, 2010, 11:52 PM

    I don't know if I what I went through 3 years ago was depression or not (it sure was related to stagnation in my research/school work) but I found that vigorous *cardiovascular* exercise works like magic! The longer and the faster I ran, the happier I became... sometimes I even gt high after my long runs.

    Try 3-4 hours of running per week (@ at least 7 miles/hour) and you'll become a different person.

    btw, even psychiatrists admit that vigorous cardio can replace meds.

    A googolplex is *precisely* as far from infinity as is the number 1.--Carl Sagan
  • Re: I need your advice: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #51 - June 22, 2010, 11:53 PM

    What idea?


    stickying this thread in the advice forum.

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #52 - June 22, 2010, 11:54 PM

    stickying this thread in the advice forum.

    I see, he must have deleted his post as I cant see it  Huh?

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #53 - June 22, 2010, 11:55 PM

    stickying this thread in the advice forum.


    Good call

    fuck you
  • Re: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #54 - June 22, 2010, 11:58 PM

    I see, he must have deleted his post as I cant see it  Huh?


    Ah. Yeah I guess so...

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #55 - June 29, 2010, 07:45 PM

    thanks for your advice Smiley

    i feel a bit better now.
    i haven't had any suicidal thoughts lately.

    i've been going places more & one of my friends invited me to one of her yoga classes ( i never realized how out of shape i am,lol. i can no longer touch my toes)

    i am still considering getting a blood test sometime at the beginning of July...

    "Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." ~ Andre Gide

     sloshed
  • Re: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #56 - June 29, 2010, 08:09 PM

    I hope you stay better.

    If you have any problems feel free to pm me, even though I probably can't help much I'm willing to listen to whatever you say.  Smiley
  • Re: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #57 - August 05, 2010, 11:11 PM

    Thought I'd post here as it's been stickied.

    Note: Just me talking about my sadness, I can't really talk to anyone about this. I don't want to burden any particular person with this either.

    I think I may have depression. I'm not sure. I don't really want to go to the doctors, particularly because of the profession I want to go into. I hope I can just over come this. There's no particular reason for me to be this way either, I don't get it.

    Life seems dull to me, I can't remember the last time I truely felt happy.

    I'm always stuck in this frame of mind, of this feeling of emptiness, confusion, wondering about the point of life. Feelings like I've fallen and I can't get back up, trying though, but it feels impossible. Impossible to be on top of everything, to feel like i'm in control of my life again. Impossible to find momentum in life and I don't know why.

    My room being a mess is pissing me off at the back of my mind. That's something I'll attend to tomorrow, but it seems impossible to get it tidy enough. I'd need days on it, and then I lose the drive, get fed up and it never gets tidied fully. Some how tidying my room and feeling it's orderly is really important to feel im in control of my life too. I just wish it could also stay tidy, and not have to always end up with a mess and have to do this big task all the time.

    I wish I where like those cheerful people, I can't even fake it, if i'm down, people know I'm down.

    Everything seems dull - Like I can't see the importance in things anymore, things people talk about, i find it hard to engage most times.

    I feel inadequate in every aspect of my life as well, I have very little confidence in myself to do anything.

    I would find it difficult to get out of bed, sometimes still do, I'd rather not wake up to reality.

    It started months ago and become worse over time, like finding almost everything dull now. I'm fighting it, but sometimes I want to just give up, because the presence of that darkness is strong.

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #58 - August 05, 2010, 11:22 PM

    I don't really know what advice to give you besides...that it might be helpful just to talk with someone about all of this. Every aspect. It doesn't have to be a professional...it could be a friend, I don't know, but with me when I had issues, I always held it in. I've been doing that since I was little. I laugh stuff off, tell myself i'm fine, and believe it for a while and slowly everything is contained within for a period of time...until I can't sustain it. Even now that i'm just talking to people around me, it doesn't always help but for that moment at least I feel better.

    As for your room...I completely understand. Several months ago when I was just ready to organize my life and just think positively I finally cleaned out every inch of my room (which I was avoiding and could not bring myself to do), now that mindset is creeping back up on me, but you always have to have some goal or perspective in mind to drive you. It helps.

    Atm you're sort of in a transitional phase i'd say, stuck in some limbo between one step in life and another.


    I don't really know what to say past that.

    Tell someone.  Free your mind, talk about it, figure out why? What's causing it? Sometimes we can overcome our own issues, I find. And if not, then you really should go see someone. Depression isn't something to be treated lightly, and it can get worse. Sometimes You're just stuck there and you don't know why at all. My mother had this issue and eventually she overcame it as well. It was hard watching. Sometimes life will just move in a way that helps.

    :S

    "If intelligence is feminine... I would want that mine would, in a resolute movement, come to resemble an impious woman."
  • Re: How do you handle depression?
     Reply #59 - August 05, 2010, 11:26 PM

    Thats very sad stardust, but there was a period I've felt like that too. Is there something in real life that began this process of being unmotivated and depressed? Or is it something that gradually dawned on you by itself? Lots of people have genuine clinical depression even if things in life are okay, while other depression is driven by specific things in life. I guess the challenge for you to figure out if its something in real life you can change or if you need to see professional help.

    Iblis has mad debaterin' skillz. Best not step up unless you're prepared to recieve da pain.

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