Hi and thanks to everybody fro the greetings.
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I didn't expected so much in so a short time.
well, I have read some threads here and I use to live the same kind of situations. I was touched by the story of Abooali and his journey within the Islamiya School and the salafis there.
I became a Muslim when I was 23 years old. I am born as a Christian Catholic. I was the only one in my family who used to go to the church every Sunday and Wednesday
for the lessons. I liked to go there but nearly all my friends didn't and with time I stopped to practice. Even I was a Christian, it is like I was always in search of the truth and had a lot of discussions on this topic with friends for example. I had some Friends ho were Muslims but I didn't know nothing about Islam. I thought that they have another God and that they have nothing to do with Christianity and Judaism. Later, one night that I came home, I seated and was looking the sky asking myself some questions like "what I am doing here?" and was in that exactly moment totally transformed, I can't really explain it. The day after, there was a show at the TV with a Muslim. He was reading the Quran and when the journalist came in the room, he stopped to read and embraced the book. I didin't know nothing and never heard about it but was impressed by his action. I watched the day after another TV show about Islam; (it was in 1991, just before the first gulf war)they spoked about the Quran and I had a strong feeling that I have to read this book. I did buy it and did believe in it like it was exactly what I was looking for. I had a good feeling when I saw that it talked about Jesus, Moses and the other prophets. I took contact with Muslims and they gave me some books like the live of the prophet and the basics of Islam. I was very enthousiastic and happy and took the shahada in the mosque of Strasbourg at front of more than 1000 people the day of Aid. I started to pray five times daily and to read a lot. Well, it sounds surely strange for a lot of people who are very rational but it was the way I lived it. At this time, I used to live in a little city where most of the Muslims were conservative. Some belongs to Jama'a Tabligh. They came to me very friendly and I had the feeling that I was most welcome. Of course it was a new life for me and I had problems with my family. There was a strict segregation between mens and womens. I started to disagree with some things and it was for me difficult to make the difference between culture and Islam. There was for example a preacher in the mosque who started to compare the womens here to the womens of paradise, saying things like " look the womens here, they go to toilet, have menstruention... and the womens of paradise are perfect..." witch I found disgusting and I wanted to stand up and say " and you are you not going to toilet... and things like that.. don't you enjoy the company of your wife nights.. . I was standing up and I leaved the mosque and didn't understand why people still listen to this without a reaction. Another time, on the way to the mosque, I saw a brother with his wife who used to wear some kind of burka but without even the possibility to see something. He had to guide her like someone guide a blind person. When I saw this I was crying asking myself "what are you doing with such people?" and I decided to go back home. Also always focusing on everything that is haram, to hear nearly everyday "why don't you grow a beard?" . Is this religion?. What I was looking for, is positive people, wishing the best for the world and not cursing the kuffar like so many are doing al the time. I just see that there are not so much happy Muslims and a lot of hate. Well, as I said I like to read and I had much interest for Sufism. The brothers prevent me to read this kind of books saying that they are misguided. I am spiritual an always was; I came in touch with Sufis and found a better place for me. They are generally friendly, positive and have good relations with all the people (not all are like this but a lot, a few are closed to the salafis when it comes to the sharia). But, you see the sufis are picking up in religion what fit to them and leave what don't fit; but I can't agree with this. There are things witch disturb me, like the question of apostasy; if someone decide to leave the religion, why killing him? does God need this? Well, I said that I am praying, yes I did but since a long time now I didn't read the Quran; so many times it talk about "kuffar", about killing. The question of the fear is also very present in the daily life and I guess is it an important point for those who left Islam.
Well, there is so much to say witch don't come in my mind at the moment. I will surely have the opportunity to post other messages later.