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Theme Changer

 Topic: Lonely

 (Read 9437 times)
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Lonely
     OP - July 23, 2010, 06:07 PM
    Lately, I feel really bad. I feel like an impostor - having to lie about myself (my beliefs and all.) Of course staying safe is number one but I am ultimately lying about myself. I let all my anger and frustration out in writing but I hate having to lie to everyone. Only a few people know about where I stand now and I lost almost all of my Muslim "friends" because I'm more open minded and outspoken now on a lot of things. I haven't told any of them that I have left Islam but it's almost impossible to not notice it.

    I'm going through a lot and I'm home again for about a month! WHAT DO I DOOOO besides reading?

    Done with the vague ranting.
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #1 - July 23, 2010, 06:23 PM
    Are you allowed to practice a sport or something?
    "Modern man's great illusion has been to convince himself that of all that has gone before he represents the zenith of human accomplishment, but can't summon the mental powers to read anything more demanding than emoticons. Fascinating. "

    One very horny Turk I met on the net.
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #2 - July 23, 2010, 06:23 PM
    far away hug

    I feel the same way.
    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #3 - July 23, 2010, 06:25 PM
    Sorry to hear that Darkeye :(

    I guess you just have to remember that your safety and well being is paramount, and while it's very frustrating to put on an act, it's only temporary. Once you are independant, you won't have to subject yourself to it any more.
    Probably use it as an incentive to push yourself to reach your goals sooner.

    Hopefully ranting here with like minded people should help you in some way  far away hug
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #4 - July 23, 2010, 06:32 PM
    Where do you live?
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #5 - July 23, 2010, 06:34 PM
    I'm sorry to hear that darkeyed Cry

    a few things I can suggest
    = use facebook to reach out to some people who are on there who can understand and support you (use your friends list to build a list of people you trust, then use your privacy settings to manage who can see your posts/statuses)
    = start an anonymous blog about living in fear/hiding as an ex-muslim (blogspot.com and wordpress.com are 2 popular sites for setting up free, anonymous blogs - just use a free, anonymous email address). This will help you vent, and who knows, it may even inspire some others who are in the same position and you could end up making some friends this way.
    = go outside and join a group/team or volunteer your time at a shelter or non-profit that you like, I'm sure there are some things like that out there. That way, you'll be helping others which will make you feel good, and you'll have a perfect and noble excuse for getting away from your relatives.
    = spend time at the library or bookstore, read up on topics you like and others you never thought of reading up on before. This is always a good idea but especially when you're cooped up at home with people who're getting on your nerves.
    = talk on the phone with people from here or others who are in a similar place as you or who can understand what you're going through.

    Just remember, this is temporary, don't let this situation break you, hon'.
     far away hug
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #6 - July 23, 2010, 06:34 PM
    Quote from: Abood on July 23, 2010, 06:32 PM
    Where do you live?

    In the closet.
    German ex-Muslim forum — My YouTube — List of Ex-Muslims —
    Wikis: en – de – fr – ar – tr
    CEMB-Chat
    I'm on an indefinite break...
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #7 - July 23, 2010, 06:37 PM
    **rimshot**
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #8 - July 23, 2010, 06:38 PM
    Hey I've been there. The internet is the best was to waste time.  far away hug


    Quote from: DARKEYED9 on July 23, 2010, 06:07 PM
    and I lost almost all of my Muslim "friends" because I'm more open minded and outspoken now on a lot of things.

    Such as?
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #9 - July 23, 2010, 06:38 PM
    I want to see my friends here in the city but my parents don't let me. They don't let me do anything unless the tag along. UGHHHH. I've been home for more than a week. :( And I feel myself slowly rotting away.

    I just want to be trusted.

    And I live in the US.
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #10 - July 23, 2010, 06:39 PM
    I'M TIRED OF THE INTERNET! I want to go outside already.
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #11 - July 23, 2010, 06:41 PM
    Have your parents been always like this?
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #12 - July 23, 2010, 06:44 PM
    Yes.
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #13 - July 23, 2010, 06:45 PM
    Join a volunteer organization. Volunteers and activists tend to be really friendly and outgoing. And the fact that they're in the same organization as you would mean that you share some interests.
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #14 - July 23, 2010, 06:47 PM
    That sucks.  Smiley
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #15 - July 23, 2010, 06:47 PM
    By the way, how old are you?
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #16 - July 23, 2010, 06:48 PM
    Quote from: DARKEYED9 on July 23, 2010, 06:38 PM
    I want to see my friends here in the city but my parents don't let me. They don't let me do anything unless the tag along. UGHHHH. I've been home for more than a week. :( And I feel myself slowly rotting away.

    I just want to be trusted.

    And I live in the US.

    My mom tries to be all up in my business like that, too. finmad

    I live in the US as well.
    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #17 - July 23, 2010, 06:51 PM
    18. :( They don't let me just volunteer. I tried. I wanted to help the kids in the library and read stories to them but my mother says no. Without a reason.

    She watches the news, see a girl get raped or killed and always thinks of me. Thinks it'll happen to me.
    I understand her concern but if she cares so much, she would escort me to the place and escort me back.
    She suffers from panic attacks. I tried many times to just hang out and I always came back home with her on the floor or whatever. I was never out later than sunset.
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #18 - July 23, 2010, 06:52 PM
    That really sucks darkeyed :(
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #19 - July 23, 2010, 06:55 PM
    Have you talked to her about it? That's definitely a psychological problem and needs help.
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #20 - July 23, 2010, 06:56 PM
    Quote from: DARKEYED9 on July 23, 2010, 06:07 PM
    Lately, I feel really bad. I feel like an impostor - having to lie about myself (my beliefs and all.) Of course staying safe is number one but I am ultimately lying about myself. I let all my anger and frustration out in writing but I hate having to lie to everyone. Only a few people know about where I stand now and I lost almost all of my Muslim "friends" because I'm more open minded and outspoken now on a lot of things. I haven't told any of them that I have left Islam but it's almost impossible to not notice it.

    I'm going through a lot and I'm home again for about a month! WHAT DO I DOOOO besides reading?

    Done with the vague ranting.



    It's natural to go through this period of depression / lonliness. All of us who were born into the muslim community and left (spritually or physically) have gone through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it shall be good.

    Like Ras mentioned try a sport or fitness routine. I find staying fit makes me feel better and stay happier (and healthier!).
    Quote from: thinkfree on September 28, 2010, 07:58 PM
    Iblis has mad debaterin' skillz. Best not step up unless you're prepared to recieve da pain.

  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #21 - July 23, 2010, 06:57 PM
    Quote from: DARKEYED9 on July 23, 2010, 06:38 PM
    I want to see my friends here in the city but my parents don't let me. They don't let me do anything unless the tag along. UGHHHH. I've been home for more than a week. :( And I feel myself slowly rotting away.

    I just want to be trusted.

    And I live in the US.


    So wait.. you parents don't let you go outside *at all*??

    What if you were to go out for a jog in the evening? Is that okay?
    Quote from: thinkfree on September 28, 2010, 07:58 PM
    Iblis has mad debaterin' skillz. Best not step up unless you're prepared to recieve da pain.

  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #22 - July 23, 2010, 06:58 PM
    Quote from: Iblis on July 23, 2010, 06:56 PM
    It's natural to go through this period of depression / lonliness. All of us who were born into the muslim community and left (spritually or physically) have gone through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it shall be good.

    Like Ras mentioned try a sport or fitness routine. I find staying fit makes me feel better and stay happier (and healthier!).

    He's not trolling anymore. Being all supportive and shit.  Cry
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #23 - July 23, 2010, 07:02 PM
    Quote from: Iblis on July 23, 2010, 06:56 PM
    It's natural to go through this period of depression / lonliness. All of us who were born into the muslim community and left (spritually or physically) have gone through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it shall be good.

    Such beautiful words.  Cry
    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #24 - July 23, 2010, 07:07 PM
    Omg that is not fair. Do you have an older sister or cousin sister that you could perhaps go out with?
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #25 - July 23, 2010, 07:12 PM
    Abood, both of my parents are psychologically messed up in different ways. I discovered this when I was in high school. I have talked about her having these panic attacks but she just gets upset and thinks I'm denying her love or whatever. And then she cries a whole lot. It's just so annoying.

    My father's doctor told him to see a psychologist/psychiatrist and he said OK but never followed through. Same with my mother. I have a younger sister who also seen a psychologist and it is MY PARENTS fault. They blame her for being incapable to communicate at times at school. My sister has become what my mother wanted her and for myself and my other sibling to be. Silent, at home or at school, and studying. No friends. No life. And I can't even speak to my sister because she thinks I am the devil or something. She is not allowed to speak to me since I'm "bad."

    :(
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #26 - July 23, 2010, 07:14 PM
    I remember not speaking at all in school when I was younger. And they blamed me. I didn't speak to anyone.
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #27 - July 23, 2010, 07:17 PM
    Sorry if it seems like I'm intruding but, when did you start talking in school? Was it difficult to do that?
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #28 - July 23, 2010, 07:21 PM
    Second grade or so
  • Re: Lonely
     Reply #29 - July 23, 2010, 07:21 PM
    Have you thought of moving out?
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »