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Theme Changer

 Topic: It's good to bump into this site

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  • It's good to bump into this site
     OP - September 08, 2010, 01:05 PM
    Hi

    I turned from Islam 18 yrs ago, and in that time I've never really had a chance to talk to anyone who has come from a similar background as me, and who feels as irreligious as I do. I cannot really share my  views with my muslim friends, my family, or even with my wife without upsetting them massively. Therefore, it's really, really good to bump into this community of yours (via a sleeply google search that I've been carrying out all day, instead of working).

    I've never been on any kind of forum before, so hopefully I've posted this message where it belongs?
    Hi
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #1 - September 08, 2010, 01:05 PM
    Welcome musivore.   Smiley  Yes, you've posted in the right place.
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #2 - September 08, 2010, 01:08 PM
    Welcome!
    Wish you could tell us more about yourself if that is possible, otherwise, welcome and enjoy. Smiley
    "It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not."
    -Andre Gide
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #3 - September 08, 2010, 01:16 PM
    Welcome!
    19:46   <zizo>: hugs could pimp u into sex

    Quote from: yeezevee
    well I am neither ex-Muslim nor absolute 100% Non-Muslim.. I am fucking Zebra

  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #4 - September 08, 2010, 01:27 PM
    Welcome to the forum, musivore. Smiley
    Each of us a failed state in stark relief against the backdrop of the perfect worlds we seek.
    Propagandhi - Failed States
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #5 - September 08, 2010, 01:35 PM
    Welcome.
    So once again I'm left with the classic Irish man's dilemma, do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?
    My political philosophy below
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwGat4i8pJI&feature=g-vrec
    Just kidding, here are some true heros
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBTgvK6LQqA
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #6 - September 08, 2010, 01:37 PM
    Welcome musivore Smiley
     you'll find ex muslims  here as well normal members with various backgrounds and stories to go along with it . you'll occasionaly find the angry  finmad muslim. it always makes for a funny thread to read. Afro
    its the first forum i've stuck to on a regular basis thanks to the people here and the subject at hand of course.

    tell us a little about yourself  Smiley
    "Tomorrow is the today you were worried about yesterday" Unknown
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #7 - September 08, 2010, 01:55 PM
    Welcome!

    Enjoy your stay. Smiley
    German ex-Muslim forum — My YouTube — List of Ex-Muslims —
    Wikis: en – de – fr – ar – tr
    CEMB-Chat
    I'm on an indefinite break...
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #8 - September 08, 2010, 02:39 PM
    Thanks for taking the time out to welcome me.

    I’m now 34 and have had a pretty good life to date. I've spent a number of years doing the drink, drugs and rock 'n' roll thing (I'd love to replace 'drink' in this sentence with 'sex', but I think too much of the former always got in the way of me succeeding at the latter).  In recent years, I have somehow managed to conform a bit more. I have managed to stumble onto a half-decent career and have fallen in love and married a half-decent woman (she's a practicing muslim, as it happens).

    In terms of Islam, my story is probably similar to many of yours. I saw the light quite early on and was quite fanatic in my youth in trying to guide others around me away form the darkness of Islam.  If nothing else, I had great success in antagonising these people (and I quite enjoyed doing this, if I'm honest). However, after one drunken argument too many, I finally decided to keep my opinions (and fists) to myself and to try to stop thinking about religion too much. This tactic worked so well that, by the age of 30, I was finally at peace with Mohammed and his crazy flock; so much so that I realised that religion should be no barrier to my personal relationships.  Therefore, when a beautiful muslim girl took some interest in me, I did not, for once, turn away in disgust at her beliefs. Instead, I gave her a chance and found ways to compromise and to tread carefully in order to avoid all the banana skins that lay in our path... Four years on and we are now happily married (and with a beautiful baby boy) and I am really grateful that I mellowed enough for me to have found the love of my life.

    All in all, I guess that open-mindedness and compromise (with muslims and with Islam) have been good for me. They have helped me to find my wife and they have also got me into a position where my family can look at me with little bit of pride (though this was never my aim, it is good to finally see a little happiness in my parents eyes).   I’m not sure why, but I thought I'd share that with you...
    Hi
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #9 - September 08, 2010, 02:41 PM

    Hello mate, good to have you on board  Afro
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #10 - September 08, 2010, 02:49 PM
    Quote from: musivore on September 08, 2010, 02:39 PM
    All in all, I guess that open-mindedness and compromise (with muslims and with Islam) have been good for me. They have helped me to find my wife and they have also got me into a position where my family can look at me with little bit of pride (though this was never my aim, it is good to finally see a little happiness in my parents eyes).   I’m not sure why, but I thought I'd share that with you...

    Its relevent, similar thing happened to me, and after their disappointment of me turning into a murtad, it has turned around now that I have produced what to them, are beautiful grandkids. 

    They would never dare to tell me to GTFO, as they are know on the backfoot - I have my own place, my own car, THEIR grandkids, and thats something all young murtads should draw great comfort from.

    btw do you have to avoid the topic of religion with your missus?  how have you agreed on raising your son e.g. how do you reach agreement on things like circumcision.  Or is it you, as is typical, making all the compromises for Muslim belief?
    My Book     news002       
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  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #11 - September 08, 2010, 03:04 PM
    My wife has false hope of converting me again. I think it deeply saddens her everytime she thinks about my beliefs. I therefore avoid the topic at all costs. It is her that feels the need to try again with me every now and then, but I have become quite skilful at gently moving away from the subject.

    I have compromised a lot already and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. It takes a special kind of spineless person to be able to do that, so I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else... I have promised to stay out of the religious education for our child. I have promised never to come home after drinking (even a single pint) and I have promised to never eat in front of my child during ramadam. I will drive my wife and child to the hospital tomorrow, as it happens, for our son's circumcision (poor kid)....in return, my wife has compromised by falling in love with, and by continuing to love an athiest. That is more than enough for me.
    Hi
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #12 - September 08, 2010, 03:17 PM
    Circumcision isn't obligated in Islam. Don't do it.
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #13 - September 08, 2010, 03:18 PM
    I think it's sad that you don't have a say in the matter of your son's circumcision.

    --
    Yo Muslims, I thought there's no fucking compulsion in religion?!
    German ex-Muslim forum — My YouTube — List of Ex-Muslims —
    Wikis: en – de – fr – ar – tr
    CEMB-Chat
    I'm on an indefinite break...
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #14 - September 08, 2010, 03:21 PM
    Quote from: musivore on September 08, 2010, 03:04 PM
    My wife has false hope of converting me again. I think it deeply saddens her everytime she thinks about my beliefs. I therefore avoid the topic at all costs. It is her that feels the need to try again with me every now and then, but I have become quite skilful at gently moving away from the subject.

    I have compromised a lot already and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. It takes a special kind of spineless person to be able to do that, so I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else... I have promised to stay out of the religious education for our child. I have promised never to come home after drinking (even a single pint) and I have promised to never eat in front of my child during ramadam. I will drive my wife and child to the hospital tomorrow, as it happens, for our son's circumcision (poor kid)....in return, my wife has compromised by falling in love with, and by continuing to love an athiest. That is more than enough for me.

    I cant tell you how much this post saddens me.  Firstly you shouldnt see yourself as lucky to have her, but both lucky to have each other.

    Rather than avoiding discourse on religion, why not encourage healthy debate?

    Secondly I always hoped this Islamic "bullying" mostly happened to children from their parents, not wives to husbands.

    You son will grow up one day & ask why you didnt stick up for him, and allowed him to be brainwashed, waste time, feel different to others & live in constant fear & paranoia from Allah.

    Please dont let it happen.
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #15 - September 08, 2010, 03:22 PM
    it's sad to see that you both got used to this situation and didn't have a strong confrontation. I think now it would be harder. :(

    I don't have any advice to give, and I can only offer you a cyber hug  far away hug
    I am hoping your family is a moderate one, and I'm guessing that's why you don't object to your children being raised such muslims.

    good luck and welcome.
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #16 - September 08, 2010, 03:26 PM
    If I choose to rock the boat now, it will sink very quickly...I realised the price I'd have to pay before I got married.

    One day, my son and I will have a chat and I will apologise to him then...
    Hi
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #17 - September 08, 2010, 03:28 PM
    For the record - if it was me, I probably wouldn't accept your apology.
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #18 - September 08, 2010, 03:29 PM
    Thanks for the hug. My first cyber hug ever and it feels surprisingly warm..
    Hi
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #19 - September 08, 2010, 03:30 PM
    Quote from: musivore on September 08, 2010, 03:26 PM
    If I choose to rock the boat now, it will sink very quickly...I realised the price I'd have to pay before I got married.

    One day, my son and I will have a chat and I will apologise to him then...

    I doubt he will respect you for it, and that wont be the worst case scenario.  He could become a proper musalman, and be disgusted by you as a godless heathen.
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #20 - September 08, 2010, 03:30 PM
    Quote from: IsLame on September 08, 2010, 03:21 PM
    I cant tell you how much this post saddens me.  Firstly you shouldnt see yourself as lucky to have her, but both lucky to have each other.

    Rather than avoiding discourse on religion, why not encourage healthy debate?

    Secondly I always hoped this Islamic "bullying" mostly happened to children from their parents, not wives to husbands.

    You son will grow up one day & ask why you didnt stick up for him, and allowed him to be brainwashed, waste time, feel different to others & live in constant fear & paranoia from Allah.

    Please dont let it happen.


    +1000000
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #21 - September 08, 2010, 03:39 PM
    My mom loved my dad very much.  That's probably why she didn't leave him even though he used to beat her and my brothers up (I was too young to get beaten.)

    It's hard to hurt someone you love because someone you love more insists.  I wouldn't allow circumcision though.

    I don't come here any more due to unfair moderation.
    http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=30785
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #22 - September 08, 2010, 03:53 PM
    Welcome to the forum musivore.  Smiley

    Regarding your son's circumcision - if you don't mind me asking, are you in the UK as I understand the procedure is banned in NHS hospitals unless for medical reasons?  
    "The greatest general is not the one who can take the most cities or spill the most blood. The greatest general is the one who can take Heaven and Earth without waging the battle." ~ Sun Tzu

  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #23 - September 08, 2010, 03:55 PM
    Hi Maya

    Yes I'm from the UK.

    Unfortuntaely, it's not banned..
    Hi
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #24 - September 08, 2010, 03:58 PM
    He's probably thinking about the recent u-turn on the decision to let the NHS perform circumcisions to stop bad practice.

    Musivore, how old is your son?
    I don't come here any more due to unfair moderation.
    http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=30785
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #25 - September 08, 2010, 04:00 PM
    He's 10 months.

    We have to pay for the operation ourselves because it is being performed for religious reasons and not due to medical necessity..
    Hi
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #26 - September 08, 2010, 04:02 PM
    Are you going to let your wife make all these sort of decsions?
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #27 - September 08, 2010, 04:04 PM
    I'm afraid so
    Hi
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #28 - September 08, 2010, 04:05 PM
    Quote from: musivore on September 08, 2010, 04:00 PM
    He's 10 months.

    We have to pay for the operation ourselves because it is being performed for religious reasons and not due to medical necessity..


    Anyone who would mutilate the genitals of a 10 month old baby is a bastard, and you will allow it to happen just to keep the love of such a person?

    1: Demand proof IN THE QURAN that circumcision is necessary - we all know that not all hadith cannot be trusted.
    2: Demand that she also shows proof that he must have it now, and not when he is about to enter puberty and old enough to decide for himself.
    3: If my wife told me to mutilate the genitals of one of my babies (I have 4) I would tell her to fuck off, and I'd take my children with me.

    You are the only person that baby has to protect it.  Don't be a spineless bastard and let him down!

    I don't know how you can look him in the eyes.
    I don't come here any more due to unfair moderation.
    http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=30785
  • Re: It's good to bump into this site
     Reply #29 - September 08, 2010, 04:06 PM
    Its an invasive unecessary surgical procedure, which carries risks & should be banned in the UK.  

    If you take a look at what actually happens, hear your son scream and the pool of blood that will stream from the penis, I think you would feel immensely guilty.  

    Although I do realise that this would be almost impossible to talk your wife out & this would be the only sacrifice I would be prepared to make.

    Lifelong brainwash of a child that you care so deeply about, without voicing your opinion during his formative years, is where I would certainly draw the line.
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
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