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 Topic: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!

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  • What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     OP - October 15, 2010, 08:47 PM
    SO... right out of the blue my parent's want to change my youngest brother's name. He is against it and so am I and my other brother. Basically my Dad has been having these dreams and my Mom and Dad think they are a "message from Allah."

    Let me give you some quick background:

    Before my youngest brother was born my dad wanted to name him X, but my mother wanted to name him Y. So eventually my Mom convinced my Dad to name him Y. While this was going on my Mom says my Dad was having dreams about naming him X. Unfortunately my youngest brother's pancreas became non-functioning somehow and that made my Dad blame my mom saying, "It's all your fault, you had to name him Y! It's because of that!"



    To sum it up (Read this if too lazy to read above text):


    • My Dad got a "divine" dream from Allah, forget what it's called in Arabic...
    • They want to change my youngest brother's name
    • He is against it
    • My parents want us to convince him to change his name
    • What do I do? How do I oppose them?!
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #1 - October 15, 2010, 08:53 PM
    How old is your brother? Is there any Islamic reason why he should keep his name? I.e. it's a noble name, like after one of the prophets etc.

    What about other reasons for his pancreas problems? Like medical reasons. Or even saying it's a test from allah or something.

    If he is younger, you could argue that changing his name may make him confused about his identity, and they should instead fast and pray more to fix his pancreas. If he is older, he can simply refuse to sign whatever documents are involved with legally changing his name.
    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
    - 32nd United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #2 - October 15, 2010, 08:55 PM
    Its his name. Ask him what he wants to be called and call him that.
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #3 - October 15, 2010, 08:56 PM
    He is 11 and as far as I know his name isn't a noble name... want me to pm name?
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #4 - October 15, 2010, 08:57 PM
    Quote from: sojournerlumus on October 15, 2010, 08:55 PM
    Its his name. Ask him what he wants to be called and call him that.


    Yes but If you've spoken to my parents they believe it's the will of Allah and THEY MUST change it! The references they are giving to the Quran are crazy and makes me think they've gone further down the deep end...  wacko
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #5 - October 15, 2010, 09:00 PM
    Sure, pm me the name as well as the new name they want to give him. I'll see if I can help come up with some excuse.

    As far as I know, the only case I've ever heard that is recommended to change one's name is if their given name has an un-Islamic meaning, or is blasphemous in some way.
    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
    - 32nd United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #6 - October 15, 2010, 09:02 PM
    Quote from: Luthiel on October 15, 2010, 08:53 PM
    How old is your brother? Is there any Islamic reason why he should keep his name? I.e. it's a noble name, like after one of the prophets etc.

    What about other reasons for his pancreas problems? Like medical reasons. Or even saying it's a test from allah or something.

    If he is younger, you could argue that changing his name may make him confused about his identity, and they should instead fast and pray more to fix his pancreas.


    His pancreas doesn't produce insulin so he takes shots. They think somehow Allah will fix the uncurable  wacko
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #7 - October 15, 2010, 09:04 PM
    As we speak my Mom is yelling at my brother  Undecided
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #8 - October 15, 2010, 09:05 PM
    Wow, yelling at him for what?
    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
    - 32nd United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #9 - October 15, 2010, 09:06 PM
    The things she is saying are terrible, "If you change your name you won't have Diabetes anymore." As if he will die if he doesn't change his name!

    She is yelling at him to agree to change his name...
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #10 - October 15, 2010, 09:13 PM
    You could say that Allah has done enough already by providing them with the means to allow your brother to take shots for something that he otherwise would've died from, and that they are being somewhat arrogant instead of being grateful to Allah.
    Also, as Luthiel said, you could argue that as long as the name isn't blasphemous, Allah wouldn't care what it was, and that he would be more concerned with the good deeds your brother does rather than what he is called.
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #11 - October 15, 2010, 09:15 PM
    Well, it is obviously not true.

    He is 11. Does he pray yet? I have an idea: You should make your parents feel guilty for claiming that allah would punish their son for a choice they made. You should also point out that plenty of Muslims have diabetes no matter what their name is, and there is nothing to indicate that changing his name will get rid of his disease.

    You should then insist that this is a life-changing decision, and that your brother should pray istikhara before making his decision. Make sure your brother understands that his name will have no effect on his diabetes, and he should only change it if he really WANTS to change it. The rules of istikhara state that after you've prayed about an issue, if you have a feeling that you shouldn't do it, then that is your answer from allah, and nobody should argue with it.

    If you can get your parents to agree to istikhara, then you should be in the clear (as long as it's your brother doing it, if they do it then we all know what the answer will be Roll Eyes )
    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
    - 32nd United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #12 - October 15, 2010, 09:16 PM
    Quote from: Lassan on October 15, 2010, 09:13 PM
    You could say that Allah has done enough already by providing them with the means to allow your brother to take shots for something that he otherwise would've died from, and that they are being somewhat arrogant instead of being grateful to Allah.
    Also, as Luthiel said, you could argue that as long as the name isn't blasphemous, Allah wouldn't care what it was, and that he would be more concerned with the good deeds your brother does rather than what he is called.


    Well it's more about my Dad's dream. I tried that angle and my Mom blabbled on about how all these prophets listened to their dreams like that prophet who was going to kill his son because of a dream but Allah stopped it and told him to kill a lamb/sheep or w/e and that's why we kill them for hajj or something... I really wasn't paying attention to her non-sense.
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #13 - October 15, 2010, 09:18 PM
    Quote from: Luthiel on October 15, 2010, 09:15 PM
    Well, it is obviously not true.

    He is 11. Does he pray yet? I have an idea: You should make your parents feel guilty for claiming that allah would punish their son for a choice they made. You should also point out that plenty of Muslims have diabetes no matter what their name is, and there is nothing to indicate that changing his name will get rid of his disease.

    You should then insist that this is a life-changing decision, and that your brother should pray istikhara before making his decision. Make sure your brother understands that his name will have no effect on his diabetes, and he should only change it if he really WANTS to change it. The rules of istikhara state that after you've prayed about an issue, if you have a feeling that you shouldn't do it, then that is your answer from allah, and nobody should argue with it.

    If you can get your parents to agree to istikhara, then you should be in the clear (as long as it's your brother doing it, if they do it then we all know what the answer will be Roll Eyes )


    Good suggestion but he doesn't pray lol.... I will try a modified version of your responses that fit him. I will have to do it once my Mom calms down, however.
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #14 - October 15, 2010, 09:20 PM
    Did they consult any religious authority before they made this idiotic decision? Perhaps if they did, them being as they are and all that, the advice might be somewhat different. It's not going to look good for your father's Islamic revelations if there's no improvement in your brother's condition, is it. And anyway, by their reckoning, he should, by changing his name, be getting better without the shots, surely?  Try them with that one and see what they favour.
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #15 - October 15, 2010, 09:21 PM
    Yessss evil let us know what happens
    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
    - 32nd United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #16 - October 15, 2010, 09:23 PM
    Quote from: sojournerlumus on October 15, 2010, 09:20 PM
    Did they consult any religious authority before they made this idiotic decision? Perhaps if they did, them being as they are and all that, the advice might be somewhat different. It's not going to look good for your father's Islamic revelations if there's no improvement in your brother's condition, is it. And anyway, by their reckoning, he should, by changing his name, be getting better without the shots, surely?  Try them with that one and see what they favour.


    Yeah my dad went to several sheiks and they are equally as bat-shit crazy (so they agree with him)... His health has been steady, no declines.
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #17 - October 15, 2010, 09:24 PM
    Merde!
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #18 - October 15, 2010, 09:25 PM
    I'll keep you guys posted... feel free to make more suggestions. I must be prepared because my parent's have their way of blabbering out of things. Especially my Mom. As soon as she starts going into the "prophet this and this and Muhammad" I've lost the game  Tongue

    She will speak for literally 30mins + straight and I will be on the edge of losing my sanity!!!
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #19 - October 15, 2010, 09:30 PM
    How old are you Bobonaut? 
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #20 - October 15, 2010, 09:31 PM
    17 Smiley
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #21 - October 15, 2010, 09:34 PM
    Well, you've probably got exams and stuff, I imagine. If it really gets to you, see your school/college counsellor or something, so it doesn't affect your studies.
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #22 - October 15, 2010, 09:37 PM
    They won't let me live in a dorm and they make a big fuss about. However, I do fine in my isolation chamber (my room  Tongue)

    Edit: I thought you were telling me to move out lol which wouldn't be too bad of a choice. It's not getting to me, I've dealt with this mental insanity before and my High school counselor is no help... trust me. Thanks for your concerns but I'm doing good in school and hopefully I will get a good job and move out. I will also get my little brother out with me Smiley
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #23 - October 15, 2010, 11:08 PM
    This reminds me of my parents, one of my siblings has diabetes and they think it's from the evil eye. Oh noez!

    What a load of crap.
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #24 - October 15, 2010, 11:15 PM
    Quote from: Aurora on October 15, 2010, 11:08 PM
    This reminds me of my parents, one of my siblings has diabetes and they think it's from the evil eye. Oh noez!

    What a load of crap.


    +1

    Hang in there guys... my parents went out so I haven't had a chance to talk to them about it. Most likely they went to a mosque...
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #25 - October 16, 2010, 10:06 PM
    Victory!!  sloshed Ozonedance GoodVsBad Flaming mad party! penguins

    After the last argument they haven't brought it up so I guess I won?
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #26 - October 16, 2010, 10:23 PM
    No, they're looking for more dawah resources.

    Brace yourself for a shitstorm.
    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #27 - October 16, 2010, 11:12 PM
    .
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #28 - October 16, 2010, 11:20 PM
    It sounds like Bobonaut's parents are quite superstitious -- over and above the superstition prescribed in Islamic theology.
    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: What would you do in this situation, help!! Please!
     Reply #29 - October 16, 2010, 11:28 PM
    .
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