Ignorance of the ultimate truth excites you? Even whilst knowing that you'll most likely never know?
Yes. I would rather not know anything and discover some truths on my own than be born omniscient. Finding out ....is incredibly exciting (to me at least), knowing... isn't so much. I may never know the ultimate truth, but it's the process of searching for it that I love, probably more than anything else in the world...sometimes the journey is the reward... discovering something new, something real, is just an amazing experince. I love it, I love, I love it. It's probably the foremost reason I drag myself out of bed every day. This is why I consider myself spiritual, because I equate spirituality with understanding.
My first spiritual experience ocured, ironically, when I lost God. My moment of apostasy (and it was pretty much a moment, not a prolonged process like it is for most people) was the best feeling of my life, it was magical. At the time I wouldn't have been able to articulate it, but it felt like starting afresh. I finished one puzzle, a puzzle that I was told was the most important and brilliant in the world, that of Allah, and suddenly I had a whole new puzzle to complete, piece by piece. One infinitely more real and marvelous than the old one, one I doubt I could ever finish, but even putting some pieces together revealed some hitherto unimagined beauties. It was like... opening the door to a world I had until then been peeking at through the keyhole. I knew there was something incredible behind there, but I could only make out its vaguest outline. I was told not to stare too long, my curiosity would lead to my doom, apparently. And besides, why waste time chancing a glance at it, Allah is far greater. Allah is the greatest. Perfect, unlimited, eternal. Anything compared with infinity becomes infinitely small. The Universe is infintely imperfect and ugly compared with Allah, why would I want it? Why would i want this life? (It was only several months later that realised what a massive effect this had had on me, but that's another story.)
Now the lock that was Allah is gone, I can finally open the door, I can finally appeciate the only being there is - nature, in all its beauty or, at least, I can try to. And if that does not satisfy you then I'm sorry you had to lose your faith in Allah. I want nothing else. Nothing much mattered to me as a Muslim. Nothing much excited me. I was just apatheitic towards this life and everything in it. But now I can see there is so much out there, out here, I cannot understand how anyone is not excited by that. How can you long for the explantion that Islam offered when reality, as ever, is far superior? There are other truths to be discovered than merely the answer to what may be a meaningless question. There may not be a why. I'd rather there isn't, actually. So tomorrow I will speculate... I will question... I will wonder... becuase no one has all the answers, not God, not Islam, so its important I look for them. My existence is important now...precisely because the explanations are not available... that's why it excited me... if they were readily available I'd have very little to live for. Not knowing puts a smile on my face, because its a chance to find out.
Poll
1 (5.3%)
Topic: Existence minus explanation