As for integration, as long as the mindset described in the article below prevails, I am afraid that the future does not look very promising.
Interviews in Weekendavisen - Kurdish woman about ex-husband: "He accused me of being a Dane.
The three interviewed Muslim women are not wearing veils, are not very religious and probably quite atypical. It is simply impossible for a culturally Christian Dane, to understand the depth of the problem.
Article in Weekendavisen – We will be avenged by the 3rd generation (not online).
"Weekendavisen has gone to Odense to meet with three Muslim women, two aged 19, one 39 One wants to be anonymous, the other two don´t mind their names mentioned. Two of them were born in Denmark, one came to Denmark at the age of five. All have gone to school among largely Danish students. None of them wear the veil, no one is particularly religious, two of them are about to start a higher education. All of them think that their lives are not significantly different from other immigrant womens´ lives ...
Anonymous woman, 19 years old of Palestinian descent. Long straight hair, black scarf and black jacket.
" When I was growing up, I did not know it was wrong to have a Danish boyfriend. I found out when I got older and met other immigrant girls, who said that girls with Danish boyfriends were bitches and cheap whores.
I had an Iraqi boyfriend. We always had to meet in secret by a small harbor. Why can´t they accept that I am seeing someone I love? But it is detrimental to one's family. People would question how my mother had brought me up and people in the mosque would avoid my parents and my uncles would stop visiting us.
My parents would not accept my Iraqi boyfriend ... They'd rather just have a Palestinian from Lebanon, where they come from ...
Some years ago I was walking in the bus station with an Iraqi man - we were not lovers, we were just heading for the same bus. A taxi driver saw us and my parents got to know immediately.
My sister, who is 11 years old, has told me that when she grows up, she will marry a Dane.
Like me,' I replied. 'Welcome to the club. " Now I have become engaged to a Palestinian from Lebanon, who I have met on Facebook ...In about a 1 1/2 years, we will be married ... I am looking forward to it. You get freedom in marriage.
For now, I cannot move out and I cannot dress as I please. Today I cannot wear a short dress. When you are married you are the husband´s responsibility and no one will interfere. I have asked my parents why I can dress as I please when I'm in Lebanon. They responded that in Lebanon it is normal. There no one notices.
I dream about living the life of Danish girls, where I can travel and live alone. But that would harm my family. First they will blame my mother for bad parenting and then nobody will want to marry my siblings. We are five girls ...
If I have to be realistic, I will not raise my own daughters in the freedom that I want for myself. One cannot. At the end of the day it is imperative that a woman preserves her virginity.
[...]
Hashan Khanjar, 19, pharmaceutial student of Iranian-Kurdish descent. White T-shirt, black jacket, long curly hair ...
"I am allowed a lot of freedom by my family, but there are limits ... I am not allowed to go out with boys and cannot wear what I please. People will talk ... I've never been allowed to sleep over at the homes of my Danish friends. My mother has always heard stories about Danes. The newspapers have reported on Danish fathers who raped their children ...
Mothers are afraid that you will be deceived by boys. If you have slept with a boy, very few will want you. If you get raped, very few will believe that you did not do it voluntarily. What were you doing there, they will ask. Virginity means very, very much. One should preferably be a virgin as a girl. If you are not a virgin, you're cheap. That is what most immigrant men believe.
... I've never been out on the town. As my mother says: 'You only go out to drink or to find a guy,' and I am not allowed to do either of those. I know of many that have been discovered while they were in town. Their phones are taken away from them, and they are kept on a short leash.
I could never have a Danish boyfriend. I am not allowed to and I don´t want to. I see Danish men as a bit like poofters ...
If my little sister, who is 17, told me that she had slept with a man, I'd smash her. I would not want her to go through life making mistakes. I know a girl in Herlev, who fled from her family. Why would she ruin her family?
[...]
Halime Oguz - 39 years old, graduate student, divorced, one child, Kurdish descent. Henna dyed curly hair. Green top, gray suit jacket ...
I came to Denmark from Turkey when I was five years old in 1976. My father was a classic guest worker. He was incredibly intelligent, and he learned to speak Danish fluently in three years. He was also very well integrated. I got a Danish name: Lene. We had many Danish friends. That changed dramatically when we moved to Vollsmose. But it also changed because of the Islamization of the entire Middle East as a result of the Iranian revolution in 1979. It reached Denmark too. My mother's headscarf started to look different, my father was suddenly seen in the mosque ...
When I got married, I cut ties with all of my Danish friends. I had nothing in common with them. I became lonely - and hungry spiritually ... When I was 27, I signed up for courses at an adult education center. Then came the jealousy. He followed me and checked my bags to see if there was anything he could find. I could not say anything positive about the Danes, without him getting extremely angry. He accused me of wanting to be a Dane ...
He knew exactly when school was over. If I arrived five minutes late, hell broke loose. When I had been married to him for 15 years, I could not take it anymore. In 2002 we were divorced. It's the best thing I've done. I held out so long because of the community and family manipulations .. I sacrificed myself for the family and the traditions that I curse to hell. When later I read medieval literature in literature class, I could not help but laugh. Immigrants live by medieval traditions.
... Many women are suffering and are traumatized. They cannot get out of their marriages. There are hundreds of examples. When I see those women, I curse tradition. It is so cynical ...
Even when you are divorced, you need to be careful. Although I'm 39, I cannot hang out all night in Odense. It would harm my family if it were discovered.
If I choose a Danish man, there will be trouble. Uncles and aunts would call from Turkey and get my mother all worked up and it will also influence my daughter and her future. Nobody will want to marry her, if I'm promiscuous.
I think it is naive when parties in parliament say that Danes are racists. Sadly, I experience more racism and intolerance among Middle Eastern immigrants. There are many prejudices. No immigrant men are broad-minded where womens´ sexuality is concerned. Women are seen as a white sheet: It must be clean if she is to be the mother of his children. Immigrant women are even helping by throwing the first stone. Women are womens´ worst enemies. Thus they are afraid of each other.
The integration has not worked. Go to Vollsmose: It is not Danish. It is Saudi Arabia.
http://www.uriasposten.net/In about a 1 1/2 years, we will be married ... I am looking forward to it. You get freedom in marriage.
I hope she reads the interview with the 39 years old, it might give her second thoughts about freedom in marriage.
If I choose a Danish man, there will be trouble. Uncles and aunts would call from Turkey and get my mother all worked up and it will also influence my daughter and her future. Nobody will want to marry her, if I'm promiscuous.
Her daughter could marry a Dane, problem solved.
Topic: Multiculturalism has failed : David Cameron