I am so happy to see a website like this!
I left islam about six months ago, had been leaning in that direction for about a year
Hi zeerah, yours is a fascinating case of a conversion, i am glad you found and joined CEMB, There is something to learn from people like you and your experiences in Islam , your life before Islam, In Islam and after Islam as you spent quite a bit of your time in Islam.
I converted to Islam 10 plus years ago, after many years of reading about it, pondering it, etc. For many, many years, I basically picked the things about Islam that I liked, and ignored the parts that I did not like,or could not understand........
So you simply read some Islamic books and picked up what you thought was good for you?? In other words you spent 10 years in Islam and before that also you spent many years reading Islam. To do that, there must be some strong reason as it appears you have loving family who are NOT Muslims. They always supported you and didn't care what religion you join or what you do in your life.
So question to you
1), How old were you when you moved in to Islam?
2), Did your friends or anyone influence you to read the books?
3). What books did you read?
4). What didn't you understand in the books that you need to go to an Imam or Islamic teacher? were you reading them in a language that you were not familiar/thorough in it??
same thing, the imams and teachers would say even if you don't understand something, you must accept it. dont ask why, dont question it. just believe. eventually i just stopped going to masjids and would simply seek out interpretations that i felt more comfortable with etc. it took me a long time to finish a translation of the quran,i started realizing, the more i learn and read and listen, the more i am not believing this, or any religion period. i finally had the courage to admit this to my peers,stopped wearing hijab,etc.
There must some reason or some one behind your actions , I mean to move from Islamic books to imams and teachers., When you were already convinced Islam is the best religion for you from books why to go some Imam or Mullahs??
it was a bit weird not praying,and asking allah for this or that, or thanking allah for this or that,etc etc. i no longer believe in God, I do think there is a an amazing life force, an infinite energy that is basically called science and nature, i do not believe that this "force" or what have you can hear my "prayers" or guide me, forgive me, or direct me. all of this is up to me, i have to answer to myself, forgive myself, and guide and direct myself. I feel so much more whole and at ease, not walking around in fear of allah,etc. thats it for now.
Beautiful words, but I wonder why you didn't realize that before you joined Islam? what was your religion or your parent's religion and Did you not read other religious books apart reading books that support Islam??
.......So when I came to Islam, my family supported me, they did not agree, but they loved me just the same. When I left Islam, I had some pressure and bad vibes from the muslim community in which I lived, but that is NOTHING in comparison to what others who leave Islam have to face or deal with. .....
Indeed that is true, Those who are born in Islam live in the lands where 90% of them are Muslim, the problems and pressure from family and the society is immense. It is just impossible to question Islam forget leaving it. Often it is a life and death situation. That is exactly the reason why many keep quite and live double life, one on internet and other in real world.
Any ways., I am glad you joined CEMB..
with best wishes
yeezevee
Topic: new to the crew