Help me return to Islam

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- musivore
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #90 - March 24, 2011, 09:54 AM

I have honestly felt like a dead man walking over the last month, so that won't be too hard. But I will try to say it more meaning now.

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- TheRationalizer
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #91 - March 24, 2011, 09:58 AM

You look to me like you have been a dead man walking for longer than a month, but at least you are a dead man that can stand up. Take some pride in yourself for that and do it!

You have been more than reasonable, she has been utterly unreasonable. You have the upper hand here. The act of loving you does not mean she has been the nicer person, she loves you because you are worth loving. If you think anything of her, accept that YOU are good enough to be loved by her - you are therefore at least her equal.

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http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=30785
- musivore
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #92 - March 24, 2011, 10:04 AM

I hear you brother

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- TheRationalizer
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #93 - March 24, 2011, 10:19 AM

Now, tell work you need time off to deal with a very personal matter. Go home, and lay down that fucking law, you can do it man, you are a fucking animal!

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- musivore
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #94 - March 24, 2011, 10:26 AM

That would be pointless because she is at work also. I’d just end up shadow boxing in our bedroom after the way you’ve pumped me up.

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- SeekerSA
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #95 - March 24, 2011, 10:27 AM

Rationalizer, that was some pretty awesome advice.

Not being an ex muslim and being fortunate my wife really supported me in my woo woo daze as she still does, I have no advice from an ex xian POV. I do however sense your pain and frustration.

In christendumb, there are texts that says the wife must submit to the authority of the husband so one can use that in you case if it was the other koolaide flavour. The wife is supposed to be submissive in all things that she may win the husband back, of course men also misuse this. The allahdicktomy on your son is not the end of the world, most his buddies will look like that anyway.

Kids always complicate matters as they suffer in splits. I would just echo the advise that you be more assertive, she was obviously brainwashed this way and I think that by telling here gently to stop trying to manipulate you may work, you will know her better than anyone else.

Of course in the other koolaide version, the woman is not allowed to withhold sexual pleasures from her man, he owns her body and visa versa. ( no verse for the "not now dear I have a headache" )

All the best man, may the FSM richly bless you with his noodlie appendages - ramen

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- zomzom
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #96 - March 24, 2011, 10:29 AM

^ I would advice against the above. In any-case to be honest I want you to try it as well to see how it ends... Keep us updated.

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- TheRationalizer
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #97 - March 24, 2011, 10:32 AM

Musivore, that's a shame

Re-read my posts before you go home then! I find a lot of swearing will pump up my adrenaline. But don't be angry with her, be civil, calm, polite, and nice even. Just let the manliness surge through your veins - she will see you are taking no shit. Things have changed, the old you is already dead!

I don't come here any more due to unfair moderation.
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- TheRationalizer
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #98 - March 24, 2011, 10:32 AM

Quote from: King Tut on March 24, 2011, 10:29 AM
^ I would advice against the above. In any-case to be honest I want you to try it as well to see how it ends... Keep us updated.

Which part in particular, and why?

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- mufa9a
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #99 - March 24, 2011, 11:16 AM

Quote from: ateapotist on March 24, 2011, 12:33 AM
Yes, it is a Mr.
I should say that I had a very all-or-nothing attitude when I was leaving Islam (it's only recently that I'm thinking you could still be a Muslim and be very progressive/liberal).
At the time, I felt the right thing to do is not even call myself a Muslim because that would be dishonest, and definitely not marry a Muslim. I even completely avoided leading the prayers. I have read on this forum that there are closet apostates who sometimes have to lead the prayers (LOL!!). I couldn't do it because that would be dishonest, I felt at the time. But now I think fuck that shit. Do what you like. Believe what you like. Call yourself a Muslim if you like. Instil doubts in the minds of others. It ain't immoral.

+1

"Tomorrow is the today you were worried about yesterday" Unknown
- zomzom
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #100 - March 24, 2011, 11:28 AM

Quote from: TheRationalizer on March 24, 2011, 10:32 AM
Which part in particular, and why?

That whole thing about being a man and laying the law down... I'd like to see how it ends, I want to see the out come. What I find is, if you act completely unlike yourself, then things can turn out badly for you, since you will not be able to mantian the false persona. I tend to do everything to avoid conflict, it takes too much energy out of me. Ironically on the forum it seems like I have seething anger in me, lol. And I feel the OP might be those who likes to avoid conflict.

I think she should take this test and tell us the outcome so we can understand a little bit more about his personality:

http://similarminds.com/jung.html

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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #101 - March 24, 2011, 12:18 PM

I'm not advising him to act in a way that isn't him. He wants to be respected, he wants to be equal, he wants his wishes paid attention to rather than trodden on and ignored. I am simply telling him to be strong and tell her what the REAL him wants, rather than to suppress the real him in order to stay with someone who seemingly wants someone else.

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- musivore
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #102 - March 24, 2011, 12:24 PM

I’ve just taken this test Mr Tut, and I got ‘Administrator – someone in touch with their external environment, very responsible, pillar of strength’. Now, I’m not sure about any of that, looks to me like the test is flawed.

As it Happens, Mr Tut, you don’t strike me as someone who would avoid conflict. I loved that bumped thread recently, where you ended up beating up a chav in a shop. Nice conflict avoidance there…

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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #103 - March 24, 2011, 12:48 PM

Quote from: King Tut on March 24, 2011, 09:04 AM

You're sounding like a 17 year old something, do you have any ideas about 'love' and 'married life' no I don't think so, so you're the least credible person to advise on this aspect. I think you should grow up.

For the 20th time, I'm not 17. Secondly, you're the one who sent his wife to get milk from the store and couldn't even defend her when some skinny guy started to cuss her out. So you're the least credible person here on this topic:

http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/weaponstestingrange/index.php/topic,1844.0.html

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- musivore
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #104 - March 24, 2011, 12:51 PM

To be fair, he did a pretty good job of defending her.

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- L2PK
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #105 - March 24, 2011, 12:55 PM

She had to be insulted like 5 times for him to actually do something about it

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- TheRationalizer
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #106 - March 24, 2011, 01:00 PM

Being physically incapable of fighting an opponent is not a reflection on one's masculinity, insulting someone because of it is however a sign of one's immaturity - you shot yourself in the foot, it would have been better to have remained silent and let it slide.

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- Mount A Bison
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #107 - March 24, 2011, 01:56 PM

q
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #108 - March 25, 2011, 01:26 PM

Did you talk to her about it?

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- musivore
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #109 - March 25, 2011, 01:37 PM

I did…net result: I’ve moved into the spare room…I’ll just have to wait for the dust to settle to see which way this is going to go.

I started off well, then lost my resolve and fight half way through. But I did enough to make my point.

I didn’t get physically close enough to follow Bison’s advice (haven’t been there for weeks (months?) if I’m honest)

And thanks.

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- zomzom
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #110 - March 25, 2011, 01:38 PM

Quote from: L2PK on March 24, 2011, 12:48 PM
For the 20th time, I'm not 17. Secondly, you're the one who sent his wife to get milk from the store and couldn't even defend her when some skinny guy started to cuss her out. So you're the least credible person here on this topic:

http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/weaponstestingrange/index.php/topic,1844.0.html

That was a long, long time ago. I miss my wife .

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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #111 - March 25, 2011, 01:42 PM

Quote from: musivore on March 25, 2011, 01:37 PM
I did…net result: I’ve moved into the spare room…I’ll just have to wait for the dust to settle to see which way this is going to go.

I think you are doing the right thing in standing up for yourself and letting her know what it is you want from your life. You only get one mate, don't spend it being miserable.

Don't give up on the talking front though. Perhaps an objective 3rd party marriage advisor might help (non Muslim)?

I don't come here any more due to unfair moderation.
http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=30785
- TheRationalizer
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #112 - March 25, 2011, 01:43 PM

Quote from: King Tut on March 25, 2011, 01:38 PM
That was a long, long time ago. I miss my wife .

From reading the first post it sounds like you gave him a good kicking?

I don't come here any more due to unfair moderation.
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- zomzom
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #113 - March 25, 2011, 01:56 PM

It was nothing serious, I just put him to the floor after I punched him a few times, and give him the opportunity to run out of the shop, since I had my wife there telling me to stop it. I was pretty young then also, now I would never fight unless someone actually attacked me, not to mention I've become much more of a coward since I've been married, I hate conflict now, I get really depressed and upset. I used to get very angry.

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- musivore
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #114 - March 25, 2011, 02:11 PM

She’s a very private person, so there’s no chance of a councillor (I guess she has to be because she would struggle to legitimise a lot of her behaviour if there were an outside opinion involved). She’s also not talking to me right now, so that’s a dead-end also.

Sorry to hear you’re no longer with her King Tut.

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- yeezevee
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #115 - March 25, 2011, 02:14 PM

Quote from: musivore on March 25, 2011, 02:11 PM
She’s a very private person, so there’s no chance of a councillor (I guess she has to be because she would struggle to legitimise a lot of her behaviour if there were an outside opinion involved). She’s also not talking to me right now, so that’s a dead-end also.

Sorry to hear you’re no longer with her King Tut.

I am just curious here, Does your wife has any close friends, cousins, brothers /sisters .. that she interacts & talks often musivore??

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
- musivore
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #116 - March 25, 2011, 02:28 PM

She has millions of close friends/ nieces. She has been sharing our problems with someone because a Sheikh has entered our lives, trying to reform me.

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- L2PK
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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #117 - March 25, 2011, 02:28 PM

Quote from: King Tut on March 25, 2011, 01:38 PM
That was a long, long time ago. I miss my wife .

What happened to her? Thought you said you're still with her in another post.

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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #118 - March 25, 2011, 02:33 PM

Quote from: musivore on March 25, 2011, 02:28 PM
She has millions of close friends/ nieces. She has been sharing our problems with someone because a Sheikh has entered our lives, trying to reform me.

It seems like its those friends/family that are the ones inciting her against you and not letting her think rationally.

I think you really should set the rules down, tell her to either choose between cutting off contact with those people and working this out like an adult, or seperate from her. I think after a week-a month of living away from you, she's going to start missing what she lost and she'll be more open to talking to you.

There's this thing I've noticed about women, the more you chase after them, the more they run away from you even without realizing why they're doing it. It looks like now is the time for you to stop chasing her and cut off contact with her for a while, to show that you don't need her, and then she'll be the one chasing you.

You still are the father of her child after all.

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Re: Help me return to Islam
Reply #119 - March 25, 2011, 02:42 PM

I was under the impression that she knew you were not a Muslim before she married you, didn't she?

Do you think she knows she is being unreasonable?

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