Living at home with family has made me think countless times how controlling and time consuming religion is. Not long ago I was also constantly trying to please Allah, although i do think that i had easier than most muslims, as i was taught that to make Allah happy or to know if Allah was happy with you, just look for acceptance from your mother, therefore i was always trying to please my mother to no avail of course. It wasn't the fact that my mother is or was too harsh too strict or insensitive, it was just merely the fact that my one year younger sister has always been the perfect daughter. I was never really jealous of her, i just wanted to be accepted as well, i never let my unacceptance affect my love for my sister, i don't really know why, i just thought it was silly to hate my sister just cause i wasn't the more perfect one, it wasn't her fault, it was mine, i should just try harder, to please my mother.
Damn i sound so vain, but seriously i'm just being honest. So anyway back to topic, i realise that my family's lives are in constant worship of the not so Almighty Allah, seriously like we've had so many troubling times, been cheated on by backstabbing family friends, rumoured about from family, despised by family, but not once have i seen my family complain to Allah about this? If he is the all just then why hasn't justice been done to my family? If he is all knowing then why did he let my family get cheated on? And more importantly, seeing as my family have always been so bloody damn loyal and devoted to Allah and his fucking Messenger then why has His Royal Highness let me be astray hence giving my family more trouble? Why don't my family see these signs of Allah's non existance? Rather than calling it a stupid test from Allah.
When i was a muslim, there were many aspects of Islam that i felt uncomfortable with, but i somehow used to able to convince myself that if it was Allah's word then it must be true these beliefs included the likes of all disbelievers will go to hell regardless of what sort of person they were and that this was supported by the fact that disbelievers are blinded from the Truth although what troubled me the most that Allah seals the hearts of the disbelievers how the hell are they responsible for not believing if their hearts have been sealed? I always felt uneasy about the beliefs of homesexuality, as it apparently is a choice, but transexuality isn't? I despised the idea of predestination if our lives have already been written and we have already been assigned to hell or heaven, then what the fuck are we doing here? If life is a so called test, then why are people getting away with murder? why are the good being ill treated? why are are innocent young children getting raped? abused? killed? What sort of evil and twisted God will let these atrocities take place on its own creation? A woman's testimony is half of a man's? But i thought all humans are equal in the eyes of Allah? That definitely explains why Allah decided that if shirk wasn't the unforgivable sin then women would have had to worship their husbands, yeah i bet Mo tried that but it must have been a conspicous conflict that didn't work out even in the bloody 6th century.
But most of all what pains me the most is the fact that millions of muslims and god-fearing believers around the globe are worshipping a godless fiend who has more contradicting attributes than the bloody prime minister! (such a Brit thing for me to say) If he really is All merciful, all knowing, all loving, most compassionate, most forgiving, Then how can he also be the dishonorer, the humiliator, the avenger, the distresser, the destroyer? why can't muslims see these conspicous conflicting attributes of their so called Allah? If he is any one these good attributes then why is there poverty in the world? Why are people getting murdered? why are there wars? why are women and children getting raped and killed? Believers insist that there is so much evidence of Allah's mercy in the world how can we reject it, well i ask you believers there is so much pain and suffering in the world how can you explain it while your God has these so called wonderful attributes? if he does then why isn't he acting upon them, and if he doesn't then why call him God?
I had the same thoughts when i first started questioning Islam. Why is there so much economic suffering in this world? Because Allah is testing us? for what purpose can making humans suffer in such humiliating ways can this be deemed a test!? The shear barbarism in Islamic countries in Islamic societies is too mind blowing to even come to terms with. Its like the Muslim world has somehow managed to cut themselves off from the rest of humanity and entered a dream world. I remember in my tab-leaky days where the brothers would tell us to low our gaze while the iman is having staring contest with the young blonde woman. We caught him a few times LOL...but such is the programming you don't ask questions.
To me Islam's falsehood has been made crystal clear and i will never revisit such fantasies again. I am shamed to admit that at one point in my life I worshiped Allah with sincere devotion. Not any more.
Topic: What I despise the most about Islam!