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  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #90 - June 15, 2011, 10:15 PM

    I'm going on a liquid detox diet in a few weeks anyway.

     what do they have in it??

    Quote
    But it's not to lose weight, it is to detox and hopefully help with my aversion to food since its supposed to help reawaken your appetite.

    1 week of very very nasty drinks (which made me puke last time I tried it so I gave up) and then 3 months of restricted food, and liquidised shakes.

    No..no.no..  NO NASTY STUFF...

    1). whatever you like.. including steaks, pork , chicken...fish.. and veggies.. leaves.. grass whatever..lol

    2). make a dish ( I mean cook it)without salt and pepper, spices add bottled water to it make as much liquidy as possible..

    3). Take a bit of olive oil add all the spices, slat pepper as much as you like

    DRINK IT.. and don't forget to take Vits specially redox active vits..

    Try it..

    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim
     
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #91 - June 15, 2011, 10:17 PM

    Honestly, it's cool.  It's called an eating disorder.  It's not rational.  The weight I gained I needed.  But weight is weight.

    I'm 175cm, and 59kg,
    don't ask me to go convert that to pounds lol I only just adjusted to metric.



    What?? who said you are over weight??

    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim
     
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #92 - June 15, 2011, 10:21 PM

    Is it a control thing, Berbs? Or is that too simplistic? That you are at least in control of what you eat and what fuel enters your body, if you feel you don't have control of other things? Like how self harmers sometimes say they cut themselves so that they feel in control of themselves?

    Apologies if this is presumptious, I have never really asked or felt in a position to ask someone with an eating disorder anything before.



    No its cool.

    Conciously I think it started out simply to lose weight.  But I wasn't fat when I started starving myself if I'm being realistic, I was a size 12 at the time.  I was also 17 too. 

    So maybe subconciously even then it was just about control.  I've learned its about control now, but I honestly only ever thought it was about the weight thing.

    I've come close to addressing this before, but never really did I see how bad my eating disorder was until halloween because that is when my heart stopped beating properly.  I was on 70 calories a day at the time and very depressed again because I was unable to control a situation that ended up hurting me quite deeply.

    But yes, it is a control thing.  So controlled I am struggling everyday at the moment to relax and allow the weight to remain.

    On the one hand I say I want nothing more than to just eat like evrybody else eats without feeling bad, but on the other I actually don't want to get fat.  I need to learn to let go.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #93 - June 15, 2011, 10:28 PM

    Yeez you must never offer/suggest such things to some one who stated they're anorexic or recovering, it's dangerous.
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #94 - June 15, 2011, 10:29 PM


    Berbs, the thing is, even though I can never imagine what its like to have the condition you have, I can definitely empathise with an impulse that a person can have to assert themselves in anyway that makes them feel like they can do something with their own body - to show they have some autonomy and agency - because otherwise their life feels like utter insignificance, when they have circumstances and forces and people who seem to overpower.

    Even if its just getting recklessly drunk, or being promiscuous, just so you feel alive.

    Obviously that is nowhere near what you are experiencing. But I think most people can understand that feeling of helplessness and need to assert control, even if it is destructive.


    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #95 - June 15, 2011, 10:34 PM

    Yeez you must never offer/suggest such things to some one who stated they're anorexic or recovering, it's dangerous.

    Ooops who is anorexic? I was under the impression it is overweight problem..

    You may be right.. 5'10" and 59 Kgs is not really a over weight.., You are right without reading the case carefully one should not throw a suggestion on web specially to friends..

    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim
     
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #96 - June 15, 2011, 10:55 PM

    5'10 and 59 KG for a woman probably leans towards underweight not overweight, if it is, then as a guy at 5'11 and 73 kilograms I must be obese haha.

    It's just a mistake dont worry about it but you should definately be careful about posting any extreme diet tricks and so on..
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #97 - June 15, 2011, 11:13 PM

    5'10 and 59 KG for a woman probably leans towards underweight not overweight, if it is, then as a guy at 5'11 and 73 kilograms I must be obese haha.

    It's just a mistake dont worry about it but you should definately be careful about posting any extreme diet tricks and so on..

    Well you are right I casually read her and from one of her post I misunderstood that she was treated for over weight with  some detox liquid diets.    I only realized  that she is NOT overweight after she  posted  her height and weight..
    What?? who said you are over weight??


    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim
     
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #98 - June 15, 2011, 11:14 PM

    Now, why don;t you run along and sniff some coke you teeny penised cock sucking moron.


     Cheesy Now that Berbs isn't staff I'm nominating her for next JOTM.

    "In battle, the well-honed spork is more dangerous than the mightiest sword" -- Sun Tzu
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #99 - June 15, 2011, 11:46 PM

    @Rev: Ditto


    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #100 - June 16, 2011, 08:46 AM

    berb, if I may ask, with so little energy how do you manage to run the household, go to college and take care your kids?


    A good amount of the calories I count are my addiction to sugar and tea, so often if I write that it's been 700 calories, you knock of at least 200 of them as coming from cups of tea.  I get my energy from sugar.  Fake energy but it's been keeping me moving for years.

    That is one of the things I am scrapping when I detox, my addiction to sugar.  If I remove that, then all my calories will come from food, which will be better for me in the long run.

    Berbs, the thing is, even though I can never imagine what its like to have the condition you have, I can definitely empathise with an impulse that a person can have to assert themselves in anyway that makes them feel like they can do something with their own body - to show they have some autonomy and agency - because otherwise their life feels like utter insignificance, when they have circumstances and forces and people who seem to overpower.

    Even if its just getting recklessly drunk, or being promiscuous, just so you feel alive.

    Obviously that is nowhere near what you are experiencing. But I think most people can understand that feeling of helplessness and need to assert control, even if it is destructive.




    Pretty much.  I never even realised this was what it was all about, I thought it was a weight thing.  I always think people are lying to me when they say I'm not fat.  It wasn't until the doctor described me as emaciated last year that I thought maybe I wasn't fat and that it was about more.

    I feel so happy and in control when I'm hungry, when I feel full I experience severe depression, anxiety and I feel so out of control, lik everything is slipping away from me.

    I wish I could enact this need for control in a better way.

    Ooops who is anorexic? I was under the impression it is overweight problem..

    You may be right.. 5'10" and 59 Kgs is not really a over weight.., You are right without reading the case carefully one should not throw a suggestion on web specially to friends..


    I don't know why its coming up as 5'10' cos that's what the height converter thing gave me.  I'm 5'9".

    5'10 and 59 KG for a woman probably leans towards underweight not overweight, if it is, then as a guy at 5'11 and 73 kilograms I must be obese haha.

    It's just a mistake dont worry about it but you should definately be careful about posting any extreme diet tricks and so on..


    Guys are heavier than girls anyway most of the time. I hate knowing that me at my healthy weight (not now) is actually not what I consider a 'feminine' weight.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #101 - June 16, 2011, 08:47 AM

    Cheesy Now that Berbs isn't staff I'm nominating her for next JOTM.


    @Rev: Ditto




     Cheesy Cheesy

     dance dance

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #102 - June 16, 2011, 09:15 AM

    You can allow an extra kilo or two for the new boobies, so don't feel too bad about it. Wink

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #103 - June 16, 2011, 09:19 AM

     Cheesy  Cheesy  Cheesy

    Probably true lol.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #104 - June 16, 2011, 09:42 AM

    It's 19.3, which is in the normal range. 

    What's your body fat %? Do you keep track of it?
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #105 - June 16, 2011, 11:12 AM

    Yeah, bf% is what is relevant, not weight.
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #106 - June 16, 2011, 11:22 AM

    I feel so happy and in control when I'm hungry, when I feel full I experience severe depression, anxiety and I feel so out of control, lik everything is slipping away from me.


    This is a great insight, just about explaining the essence of the matter in two lines. Thanks Berbs.


    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #107 - June 16, 2011, 12:47 PM

    Even if its just getting recklessly drunk, or being promiscuous, just so you feel alive.


    Hey, shut up! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! Angry

    "In battle, the well-honed spork is more dangerous than the mightiest sword" -- Sun Tzu
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #108 - June 16, 2011, 01:52 PM

    What's your body fat %? Do you keep track of it?


    Yeah, bf% is what is relevant, not weight.


    I don't know how you keep track of that??   wacko

    This is a great insight, just about explaining the essence of the matter in two lines. Thanks Berbs.


    Lol no probs, I think Tongue

    Which means today sucks because I feel great, I fel light, I feel empty, therefore I feel in control again, which means how much better am I getting really?  banghead

    I'm having a salmon steak for dinner, 245 calories, and some spinach <--- don't know how many calories though.  But at least its food.


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #109 - June 16, 2011, 01:52 PM

    Hey, shut up! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! Angry


     Cheesy Cheesy  Sexual control freak. 

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Bitches at college lol
     Reply #110 - June 16, 2011, 01:58 PM

    How you feeling today berbsy? hugs
  • Re: Berb's New Bodaciously Ballsy & Bawly Blog!
     Reply #111 - June 16, 2011, 02:07 PM

    Berbs, copied from the other thread regarding body fat %
    It's integrated into some weight scales. You can find them in some pharmacy shops, and most Boots. It works by sending a harmless electrical current through your body and as the current will pass through muscle/non-fat tissue more quickly the level of resistence measured is converted to a body fat %. You can have a healthy BMI but your bodyfat % can be through the roof. Also, your BMI may indicate you're overweight whilst our body fat% is within normal range; one of the reasons for this is that muscle weighs more than fat.

    Figures:
    Women: 25-31% of body weight is fat (for an average person) v 18%-24% for men. If body fat is greater than this, then there should be cause for concern.
  • Re: Berb's New Bodaciously Ballsy & Bawly Blog!
     Reply #112 - June 16, 2011, 02:18 PM

    5"9' is tall and excellent height for a woman, well atleast or me anyways.
  • Re: Berb's New Bodaciously Ballsy & Bawly Blog!
     Reply #113 - June 17, 2011, 11:58 AM

    Berbs, copied from the other thread regarding body fat %
    It's integrated into some weight scales. You can find them in some pharmacy shops, and most Boots. It works by sending a harmless electrical current through your body and as the current will pass through muscle/non-fat tissue more quickly the level of resistence measured is converted to a body fat %. You can have a healthy BMI but your bodyfat % can be through the roof. Also, your BMI may indicate you're overweight whilst our body fat% is within normal range; one of the reasons for this is that muscle weighs more than fat.

    Figures:
    Women: 25-31% of body weight is fat (for an average person) v 18%-24% for men. If body fat is greater than this, then there should be cause for concern.


    Ok, I'm going to try and find one, probably head to the larger boots tomorrow and check this out.  My doctor always says my weight on me comes from my bone structure, whilst some girls can hit weights like 6-7 stone, I won't ever get to that since I have large bones.  But it always reminds me of those "Oh you;re not fat, just big boned" comments growing up that then went on to "OMG wow you have lost so much weight, you look great" <---- showing what liars even friends can be.

    That is the thing about ED's, they are always validated by the outside world with lots and lots of praise for becoming slim.  I hit size 8 clothes, and even they began to feel loose on me last winter, but other ladies would continue to tell me how much they admired my ability to maintain my weight.  Roll Eyes

    Never mind it actually started to hurt to shit down LOL because all my cushioning was gone.

    Anyway I will check the body fat thing out, see if that helps me make sense of where I am at right now.

    5"9' is tall and excellent height for a woman, well atleast or me anyways.


    If only my ex hubby had been so cool about it, instead it was no heels allowed and depression cos his friends said I was taller than him.  I wasn't, I was an inch shorter.  That insecure bastard.  finmad

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berb's New Bodaciously Ballsy & Bawly Blog!
     Reply #114 - June 17, 2011, 12:18 PM


    My grandfather is in hospital at the moment and not eating much. He gets these drinks called Fortisip, which is a fruit flavoured nourishment drink. Each one has 300 calories and just drinking three of those a day makes sure he stays with his head above the basic calorie intake waterline every day, because he only eats a little, his appetite is negative, and for medical reasons too. They're small bottles, so if you are eating under ideal level, a couple of those might help, without making you feel full, so you don't get depressed? At the end of the day its about keeping you healthy as a supplement to whatever you can bring yourself round to eating, not as a replacement. Or would those drinks still feel like an imposition on your control? Anyway, just a thought.



    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Berb's New Bodaciously Ballsy & Bawly Blog!
     Reply #115 - June 17, 2011, 12:24 PM

    I have Fortijuice in the fridge Billy  Wink.  Strawberry flavoured ones.  The doctor prescribes them for me for those days where I can't mentally eat.  They were also all I could consume at one stage because all food made me throw up.  300 calories per drink though, 2 a day, if I don't eat. 

    I even felt bad drinking them to start off with since 600 colories a day was too much in my head.  I'm ok drinking them now though, since I've accepted that idea that at least its a guaranteed 300 calories of only goodness.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berb's New Bodaciously Ballsy & Bawly Blog!
     Reply #116 - June 17, 2011, 12:26 PM


    Cool. I actually tasted one when my grandad didn't want the last sip and they tasted nice, wouldn't mind some myself Grin

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Berb's New Bodaciously Ballsy & Bawly Blog!
     Reply #117 - June 17, 2011, 12:27 PM

    Do you actively work out? Or is that not a way you find control?
  • Re: Berb's New Bodaciously Ballsy & Bawly Blog!
     Reply #118 - June 17, 2011, 12:35 PM

    Cool. I actually tasted one when my grandad didn't want the last sip and they tasted nice, wouldn't mind some myself Grin


    Grin  I feel that way about a friends baby dessert jars.  I steal baby's desserts when I can lol.

    Do you actively work out? Or is that not a way you find control?


    I feel like the world has worked against me in trying to transfer my control to working out instead.

    When I went to sign up at the gym in October, it was literally a matter of days before my induction, in which my heart stopped beating properly.  I ended up in hospital a few times over it, and had to take heart medication at the start of the year and during that time I wasn't allowed to work out.

    Then I got better, I eat enough for my body to not eat my heart like it was attempting to do so, my heart is beating better, still have a low blood pressure, but I was given the go ahead from the doctor to join the gym.

    Which is pretty much around the same time that I sliced by tendon and ended up in surgery repairing that, 6 weeks in a cast, and no exercise that strains it.

    I was bike riding to try to compensate since the doctor said that wouldn't be too hard on my foot, and then I got run over and my bike's front wheel is broken LOL.

    Anyway I finish college next week, which is when I am heading to the gym for a one on one, I will discuss all of this, the tendon, heart issues, etc with them, and hopefully work out a plan to work out.

    I feel like I could eat more if I knew I could burn it off.

    I won;t jog, because I hate being outside.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berb's New Bodaciously Ballsy & Bawly Blog!
     Reply #119 - June 17, 2011, 12:42 PM

    Smiley Sounds positive. Just remember that you will probably end up weighing more in the first few weeks of exercising so that's why better to keep track of your body fat %.

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