I am so happy, like probably gonna cry in a minute I am that happy and it's been so long since I was that happy.
College is over, and I completed my course.
That might not mean anything to so many others, but after my entire wasteful stupid life, it means so much to me to have made it through and to know that I have been accepted into Uni, and that I have actually changed my life, well yeah I am really happy.
So scared because happiness never lasts long in my life, but for now I am.
I am also really proud of myself. When I started the course I just didn't think much of myself at all. Not only did I have body esteem issues, which are actually worse now than they were back then
, but I was convinced I was just stupid.
Especially since I know certain members on here bitched about how lacking I was in every department that could make a person worthy.......isn't that right Islame?
But still, know what I have to say to them?
Of the 69 credits I have achieved, 63 of them are the highest possible mark you can achieve, and the other 6 are the second highest, and that was my first essays.
My sociology essay is going to be published in a collection of sociology essays, which my tutor will send to me, and my politics essay has become a model essay, so fuck you and the grimy things you said about me.
Fuck you to my ex husband who told me I was stupid. Fuck you for telling me I would never amount to anything.
Fuck you to my ex husband again who told me I couldn't write, every single tutor has gone out of their way to tell me how much they love reading my essays because of the writing style. I let that fool destroy me, destroy my belief in myself as a person.
I may still want to break every mirror, I may still loathe my body and my face, but I have gained a lot of confidence about my work so I do believe now that I can actually go on to follow my dreams.
And yeah, this post may seem boastful, but so what if it is? I have hated everything about me for so long I wouldn't even remember what it feels like to believe in myself as a person, but on this matter I think I feel better, so if I want to shout it from the rooftops I will. By tomorrow my self hate will be back and you haters can enjoy that again.
Topic: From the mouth of madness - My blog