Meh, whether I am a stick figure anoerxic pussy or a fat one, I still lack whatever it is that a woman is meant to have that makes her lovable.
I love you!
My war with my weight isn't about other people liking me, it isn't about getting a man, it's about me and me alone and how I punish myself when no one is around to do it for me.
Have you tried seeing a psychologist or even trying anti-depressants, they don't work straight away and also make you feel suicidal in the first 2/3 weeks, however after that it starts to kick in and that terrible feeling in your gut goes away and you start to feel abit robotic. But after you come off them after 6/12 months time you will feel good.
You could also try hypnotherapy I don't know if they do it on the NHS.
If I had stayed with my ex, chances are I would be eating just fine since he made me feel shit enough to compensate.
That is just a byproduct of living with another person.
Men don't want this, men don't want that, men just want...........well who the fuck knows and right now I just don't care. As long as I feel worthless it doesn't matter.
Men want, Re: "looking for a girlfriend" thread by me. I have that shit nailed down.
Again I am in a Meh phase about this. Maybe you were right when you said "I give her a few months" since I am not going in today, probably won't go in tomorrow, and I am unsure about the rest.
Sorry, I am such an asshole at times. I know how hard it can be sometimes you have the determination and when you actually restart education, it seems like secondary school all over again, and a competition of who has the bigger cock.
I am unbelievably unhappy at uni right now. Just thinking about it brings me down. When I decided not to go in today I felt a sweeping rush of relief. What it takes for me to face it everyday is just too much right now.
Have a few days off, and then go back. I can tell you one thing, if you do this one accomplishment of going and completing your course you will get a huge boost in self-esteem don't let this opportunity slip away from you, think about all of the times you wished you could go back to university. It's the skunk it messes with the chemical in your brain which control motivation it zaps them, this is why you feel unmotivated.
It's like I can't even be bothered to try and argue to change courses, because I am doubting whether I want to be there at all anymore.
Just stick with it, and get through it.
I thought I would love uni. I hate it.
It is OK, sometimes we have this imagined image of how things will be, but they don't turn out like this since in fantasies you never put in negatives its built upon positives so in reality when on negative aspect comes in, it throws you off.
I need to give up the weed you are right, its dragging me down, maybe adding to the way I feel about myself.
Of course it is, you're psychologically dependent on it. It's a form of addiction you will think you need it when you don't.
I'm just struggling with it. I have been smoking daily since before I became an apostate. After my little girl was born, so 7yrs now of daily smoking. The only time I have ever quit was because I couldn't get it those 3 weeks.
Yes, you need to get help. I am serious you're psychologically dependent on it.
But you know I feel like life sometimes isn't worth trying for anymore.
Been there. I know how you feel.
I quit teh weed and what? magically things get better?
Well the chemical in your brain will start to get back to normal levels in your motivation level will increase.
they were crap before I started smoking this heavy. I go to uni and somehow I get happier? or find someone and feel good for a little while until it falls apart?
You think about future possibilities, its
false
expectations
appearing
real to you. You have to start with were you currently are now.
Why do I still keep trying? why do I carry on getting up everyday for anything other than my duty? everything seems like a way to kill time until time kills me.
Your getting me down now. All I can say is, sometimes you have to just face the situation.
Nothing makes me happy like it used to. Even when I say I am doing better I just mean that I am trying. But in the back of my head I am constantly asking myself WHY? why even bother when it doesn't help.
The sense of achievement, something you can think back on and smile to yourself and think you know I did that myself even though it was hard. I builds you as a person to face more challenges in the future. I don't know where I read/heard this: "Once I saw an ant it tried climbing up a wall with a grain of wheat, it would almost get to its house, and fall off it kept doing this with relentless persistent, again and again it fell back down a long way, it eventually even I started willing it to reach the top, and finally after what felt like ever it made the last hurdle and reached the top - and that is how I kind of see myself as that ant" - I wish I could remember who said this I might have been Will Self but that is a good lesson to take on board.
It doesn't change anything. I keep trying to change things and inside I feel the same.
You have to keep trying harder and harder I know its a cliche but no one reached anywhere without trying.
This is why I know that it's pointless having more surgery, because inside I will still feel this way. It's pointless finishing the decorating I started in this house because inside it is still my life. Making friends? ultimately what for? so that someone will mourn me when I am gone?
It all feels empty.
Just try with letting go of the weed. I know you feel down but try to keep focus, stop feeling sorry for yourself. I used to feel like you, I remember I was playing poker on skybet.com (still do) and I was playing with someone who had £50,000 on the table and I had been winning and I was on £4,789 just under £5,000 I had a Full-house and he had four of a kind 9999 I was so happy that I had him he went all in, and I thought to myself what a fool he is trying to bluff me, I called, and I lost all my money, I felt so sorry for myself, after that I said I will never feel sorry for myself since its that kind of a world I can't expect someone not to take my money because he will feel bad, no if he has the chance he will try to take EVERYTHING from me. After that I gave up on playing poker with real money on more-then £500.
Topic: From the mouth of madness - My blog