I just hate myself. 
There are more than a billion girls out there who would love to be in your shoes Rubaya. Common be happy with what you have.. 
I have turned into a monster for a certain someone, for whom I have made all sacrifices.
 well it happens in the life., Life is not smooth sailing irrespective of how rich or how poor one is.  First of all you are NOT a monster, get that out of your brain..  
Let me do this internet allah hypnotism on you..
Rubaya ... you are not a monster..  get that out of your brain..   
you are not a monster, get that out of your brain..  
you are not a monster,get that out of your brain..    
May be the problem lies from other side., if they think  that you are a monster, it is their problem not your's Rubaya. Because you already sacrificed/or did what ever possible from your side. So get over it. focus.. focus on education.. 
If I had just been this kind to my parents they would have died in peace. It's not about being an ex-Muslim, it's about me.
 I know.. I know... 
You know.,  Grand parents die, parents die, you die,  your children will die.. I die., Prophets died god died...  what is this eastern philosophy?  get over that nonsense., Death comes, so comes..,  so what ?  Are we living for stupid death.. 
Common there is so much to do in life for you. Be a role model..