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 Topic: Friends with the opposite sex ?

 (Read 20514 times)
  • 12 3 ... 6 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     OP - June 19, 2011, 03:59 PM
    Hey guys

    Well within Islam the concept of two people of the opposite sex forming a friendship is so alien.Because of this most of my life I assumed that there is a natural sexual tension between us .when I am around male friends I can't help but develop feelings for them . Well my question is can they be friends ?have you guys been through similar experiences ?

    I'm typing on my blackberry so excuse me if I have mistakes lol
    "its fashionable to be an ex Muslim these days"
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #1 - June 19, 2011, 04:04 PM
    I don't think it's possible lol male friends are simply guys who haven't slept with you yet.

    Once you do, the friendship is over.  I have found that this 'friendship' is all a means to an end.  Show me a real male friend who actually has time to chat and listen to my concerns and visa versa, but who doesn't want to sleep with me and I will show you my shocked face.

    Maybe its because I grew up the same way as you do, but I just don't trust that men aren't after one thing.

    No offence guys, bad experiences and life training is making seeing you as trustworthy people, really really hard.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #2 - June 19, 2011, 04:11 PM
    Berbs ! I though you were gonna convince me that it is possible. ...............:( :(
    "its fashionable to be an ex Muslim these days"
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #3 - June 19, 2011, 04:18 PM
    Friendly relations between the sexes are perfectly possible. I have had many male and female friends in my life, and I have always enjoyed the friendly company of girls and ladies. I must admit that within these relations there is always a very light sexual tension, such as ".... we could..." but I think that we in Western Europe have developed a series of very subtle ways to show our borders. Maybe in Islam there are no such subtleties.
    Religion is organized superstition
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #4 - June 19, 2011, 04:18 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 19, 2011, 04:04 PM
    I don't think it's possible lol male friends are simply guys who haven't slept with you yet.

    Once you do, the friendship is over.  I have found that this 'friendship' is all a means to an end.  Show me a real male friend who actually has time to chat and listen to my concerns and visa versa, but who doesn't want to sleep with me and I will show you my shocked face.

    Maybe its because I grew up the same way as you do, but I just don't trust that men aren't after one thing.

    No offence guys, bad experiences and life training is making seeing you as trustworthy people, really really hard.




    loool what kind of people do you know ?
    XD
    [13:36] <Fimbles> anything above 7 inches
    [13:37] <Fimbles> is wacko
    [13:37] <Fimbles> see
    [13:37] <Fimbles> you think i'd enjoy anything above 7 inches up my arse?
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #5 - June 19, 2011, 04:19 PM
    LOL sorry, wish I could.   Cry

    Once I thought differently, let myself get deluded by online male friendships, but they don't reflect real life practises.  On here everyone is your friend, best males friends you could ever want or have.  You could almost believe for a second that on this score, Islam was wrong.

    Then you learn lol oh boy do you learn.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #6 - June 19, 2011, 04:20 PM
    Quote from: Kod on June 19, 2011, 04:18 PM
    loool what kind of people do you know ?
    XD



    Same people you do Kod.  Grin
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #7 - June 19, 2011, 04:23 PM
    I'd like to think we're more than just fuck machines (Can't think of a better word  Tongue) I think it's possible. yes
    Join us on chat. Click here.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #8 - June 19, 2011, 04:30 PM
    Well I'm sure everyone isn't a perverted fuck , got the feeling people are just indoctrinated to feel that way ! What about people in same sex relationships do they just crush on every friend they have ! 
    "its fashionable to be an ex Muslim these days"
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #9 - June 19, 2011, 04:31 PM
    Quote from: zooby on June 19, 2011, 04:23 PM
    I'd like to think we're more than just fuck machines (Can't think of a better word  Tongue) I think it's possible. yes


    Cheesy
    Attached image is missing * motivatord2ea6df3bfbec8927b26c029ac82e97dd961c612.jpg (72.31 KB, 600x750 - viewed 420 times.)
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #10 - June 19, 2011, 04:33 PM
    Quote from: ChinaDoll on June 19, 2011, 04:30 PM
    Well I'm sure everyone isn't a perverted fuck , got the feeling people are just indoctrinated to feel that way ! What about people in same sex relationships do they just crush on every friend they have ! 


    Stop trying to be rational.  It is upseting my new found equilibrium. 
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #11 - June 19, 2011, 04:36 PM
    Chinadoll, friendship between the sexes is totally possible, I say this with experience. My best friend at school. for 5 years was a boy (Zain) although he asked me out when we were 11 and I was too paranoid so I said no, and then we became best friends after that (weird, I know).

    Although, I was brought up with the same islamic bullcrap as all of you here, "don't talk to boys, don't befriend boys, don't think about boys, don't fucking see a boy" yeah you get it I bet. But clearly i've always been a rebel and well I was a very dateable sort of girl, for obvious reasons Shocked, I dated too many older boys, and this was a reason for many girls at my secondary school to envy me, back chat about me and just plainly hate me.

    That would be another reason for why I got on so well with the lads, although I was never the sporty type so no they definitely didn't see me as a buddy. Maybe they were after that one thing too, but I highly doubt it as I never dated any high school boys when I was in high school.

    This would probably sound cliche, but what i've found is that most guys that are my friends I end up falling for them cause they're nice enough to be boyfriend material. Does that make much sense?

    Sorry for the ramblings..  icon_blahblah
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #12 - June 19, 2011, 04:37 PM
    This is a stupid thing in Islam. And it annoys me especially because I get on better with guys, I have more friends with a peen.  Tongue

    It's possible.

    Sure, there may be a "risk" of it growing into a romantic relationship (lulz) but that doesn't mean ALL THE TIME.  Roll Eyes
    (I especially hate that, if two people of the opposite sex alone in a room, the DEVIL is with them and it will DEFINITELY lead them to fucking each other's brains out.  Cheesy)

    I have male friends who I have completely platonic relationships with. Some are single, some have girlfriends.

    One of them is a good friend of mine, and he's NEVER mentioned that he thought I was attractive or anything weird like that (except vaguely, vaguely hinting). And he knows I don't feel that way about him and us being together is unheard of.
    Rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #13 - June 19, 2011, 04:39 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 19, 2011, 04:31 PM
    Cheesy

     Cheesy
    Join us on chat. Click here.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #14 - June 19, 2011, 04:42 PM
     Roll Eyes 

    Your very first example was a boy who ended up asking you out, simply confirming my theory.  Guys who are your friends are guys you haven't slept with yet, who haven't managed to use and dump you when they are done.

    My best male freind is someone who has professed his love to me a billion times over, but who I am not interested in.  He became my friend for attraction, he remined my friend for attraction, and eventually he drifted and loved another and our friendship did not = the friendship it was before.

    That is NOT friendship.

    Most of my friends back in the days were boys, but it was a given I would never reciprocate. Its not like we didn't know that would be wanted though.



    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #15 - June 19, 2011, 04:46 PM
    Of course its possible. I have several female friends (even one which is my best friend).

    Sexual tension will always be there, but i will sign on what Hallakuf wrote. As a person who has lived almost my whole life in the West. My relationship to the opposite sex is not derived from the over-sexualization that a religion from the 7th century puts on the sexes.
    "Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
            Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

    - John Keats
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #16 - June 19, 2011, 04:47 PM
    Lol well I will leave all of you folks who have clearly found success socialising with the opposite sex, and take my weird ass off to a thread that doesn't enrage my anger and hurt at my experiences of so called male friends.   Afro

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #17 - June 19, 2011, 04:49 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 19, 2011, 04:47 PM
    Lol well I will leave all of you folks who have clearly found success socialising with the opposite sex, and take my weird ass off to a thread that doesn't enrage my anger and hurt at my experiences of so called male friends.   Afro




    Berbsy you should make a radical feminista thread. Afro
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #18 - June 19, 2011, 04:50 PM
    Errmmm... my best female friend and I drifted apart when she asked me out when I was 12, I obviously rejected her cause I was a muslim. Yeah, ever since we haven't spoken much, except the odd 'hello' when I bump into her.
    07:54 <harakaat>: you must be jema
    07:54 <harakaat>: considering how annoying you are
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #19 - June 19, 2011, 04:52 PM
    I will leave that to the radical feminsts.

    I'm just a radical anti-social, anti-trusting, anti-asshole person. 

    To be young, naive and full of hope again.  What I wouldn't give.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #20 - June 19, 2011, 04:53 PM
    Quote from: Fombles on June 19, 2011, 04:50 PM
    Errmmm... my best female friend and I drifted apart when she asked me out when I was 12, I obviously rejected her cause I was a muslim. Yeah, ever since we haven't spoken much, except the odd 'hello' when I bump into her.


    Yea, the moment the attraction ends with rejection, the friendship is over.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #21 - June 19, 2011, 04:54 PM
    The majority of my friends are women. Some I have slept with, most I haven't (and never will).
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #22 - June 19, 2011, 04:55 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 19, 2011, 04:52 PM
    I will leave that to the radical feminsts.

    I'm just a radical anti-social, anti-trusting, anti-asshole person. 

    To be young, naive and full of hope again.  What I wouldn't give.


    Aww Berbsy. Being young, naive and full of hope hardly ever comes in the package together. I guess that's where you and I need to learn to accept and value what we have in life. hugs

  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #23 - June 19, 2011, 04:57 PM
    Quote from: Al-Ma`arri on June 19, 2011, 04:46 PM
    Of course its possible. I have several female friends (even one which is my best friend).

    Sexual tension will always be there, but i will sign on what Hallakuf wrote. As a person who has lived almost my whole life in the West. My relationship to the opposite sex is not derived from the over-sexualization that a religion from the 7th century puts on the sexes.


    I agree, and I think this over-sexualization goes hand in hand with an enormous fear of sex in Islam.
    Religion is organized superstition
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #24 - June 19, 2011, 04:57 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 19, 2011, 04:53 PM
    Yea, the moment the attraction ends with rejection, the friendship is over.


    Yeah. What's worse is she was my friend since I was 5 and it just pretty much ended within a week.

    I don't see why I'd have to feel like a horny bugger if I have a female friend though... then again my libido is almost good as a soggy sasuage...
    07:54 <harakaat>: you must be jema
    07:54 <harakaat>: considering how annoying you are
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #25 - June 19, 2011, 05:02 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 19, 2011, 04:53 PM
    Yea, the moment the attraction ends with rejection, the friendship is over.



    Weren't you just saying that it's only the males who do this though?
    Join us on chat. Click here.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #26 - June 19, 2011, 05:06 PM
    Did I specifically say it was just males who end friendships if they feel rejected for expressing an interest?

    I didn't.

    Anyway, check my reply to CD in which I clearly state I don't want rationality LOL since I know my opinion comes from a bad place in which rationality takes a back burner to experience and mistrust.

    So, its either you men are what I think you are, or I am just unworthy of proper friendship with respect and real feeling from a man??

    I think, with the level of self hate I already feel.  I will stick to blaming the penis, and try to like myself just a little.   Afro
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #27 - June 19, 2011, 05:08 PM
    :(

    I'm so off this thread.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #28 - June 19, 2011, 05:10 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 19, 2011, 05:06 PM
    So, its either you men are what I think you are, or I am just unworthy of proper friendship with respect and real feeling from a man??

    How about a third option?
  • Re: Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #29 - June 19, 2011, 05:10 PM
    I have a love/hate relationship with all genders equally. Doesn't really matter to me.

    Weirdly enough, I tend to become friends with people whom, when we first meet, I think are female, but then after a while randomly tell me they're in fact closet transboys. Do I just make everyone male or something?
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