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 Topic: Friends with the opposite sex ?

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  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #120 - September 01, 2013, 10:40 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on September 01, 2013, 09:13 PM
    As a guy, I don't necessarily actively want to bone every woman I think looks good.


    What does this mean HM? Actively? What if they came to you, no activity required on your part? And when you think in your head - I think she looks good; Yes we can appreciate her sense of dress/poise/eyes/make-up/hair/skin/naughty bits ( how they are presented lol) but isn't the real thought, behind 'I think she looks good' a question of would you? Or wouldn't you?



    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #121 - September 01, 2013, 10:40 PM
    There's always some level of sexual tension between men and women, well the ones you find attractive...even if you have a partner, that leads to possibilities of things changing...it leaves that door open. I'm not saying you want to bang the girl 24/7 but given the right situation and the temptation is there...it was never a purely platonic relationship because of the attraction that's bubbling under the surface...
    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #122 - September 01, 2013, 10:58 PM
    Neither one of you are really describing my friendships, but that said I'm very selective on who I consider a friend and don't use the word lightly. It's perfectly possible to have a platonic relationship, it's about mental/emotional association. If someone is my friend then their attractiveness is irrelevant. A few times I have felt an attraction but as I've said if it doesn't happen that attraction dies. I can think of a few women on an intellectual and emotional level I have an incredibly high regard for, people I would not want out of my life. It was apparent nothing was going to happen and the attraction faded. Still good friends now, and I can say in all honestly it's some of the closest friendships I've ever had and purely platonic.

    These aren't women I happen to know from a club. That's not a friend, it's an acquaintance/drinking buddy. Some have got married and had children and we've drifted apart, others have got married and had children and we've retained strong ties.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #123 - September 01, 2013, 11:48 PM
    Quod - your the exception that proves the rule.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #124 - September 02, 2013, 12:03 AM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on September 01, 2013, 10:58 PM


    These aren't women I happen to know from a club. That's not a friend, it's an acquaintance/drinking buddy. Some have got married and had children and we've drifted apart, others have got married and had children and we've retained strong ties.


    Less of a club, more of a social scene of the time. Circumstances accounted for the loss of female friends from universities days, so the next tranche so to speak came from running a business in town and going out in town, where some were acquaintances/drinking buddies but some were real friends at the time.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #125 - September 02, 2013, 10:04 AM
    When I show interest in getting to know a guy...to make a friend!...They seem to take it the wrong way...so how do I change that? What am I doing wrong?
    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #126 - September 02, 2013, 10:25 AM
    Quote from: devilsadvokat on September 01, 2013, 10:40 PM
    What does this mean HM? Actively? What if they came to you, no activity required on your part? And when you think in your head - I think she looks good; Yes we can appreciate her sense of dress/poise/eyes/make-up/hair/skin/naughty bits ( how they are presented lol) but isn't the real thought, behind 'I think she looks good' a question of would you? Or wouldn't you?






    Similar to what quod said. I'm good friends with several women who are physically good looking, I could totally understand why any guy would be attracted to them. But the fact that they are my friends, that I enjoy being around them because I think they're cool, means that I'm not looking at them with the intention to bone. Even after drinking or whatever, I've found that my friends who are girls are really just friends.
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #127 - September 02, 2013, 10:37 AM
    Quote from: Stardust on September 02, 2013, 10:04 AM
    When I show interest in getting to know a guy...to make a friend!...They seem to take it the wrong way...so how do I change that? What am I doing wrong?


      Cheesy You aren't doing anything wrong, dusty. That's just the way it is with some folks.
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #128 - September 02, 2013, 02:20 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on September 02, 2013, 10:25 AM
    Similar to what quod said. I'm good friends with several women who are physically good looking, I could totally understand why any guy would be attracted to them. But the fact that they are my friends, that I enjoy being around them because I think they're cool, means that I'm not looking at them with the intention to bone. Even after drinking or whatever, I've found that my friends who are girls are really just friends.


    This right here. It comes back to what I said about mental/emotional association. If I don't have a good relationship with them that is on this level, it's more likely that in certain situations something sexual might happen. Not even saying that's a bad thing, just the way it is.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #129 - September 02, 2013, 02:23 PM
    Quote from: Stardust on September 02, 2013, 10:04 AM
    When I show interest in getting to know a guy...to make a friend!...They seem to take it the wrong way...so how do I change that? What am I doing wrong?


    I don't think you're doing anything wrong. If you show interest in getting to know someone who finds you attractive, they are going to acknowledge the possibility the attraction is mutual and test the water. If you don't return the feeling, be honest. If they value you enough they'll accept it and want you to stay in their lives while looking elsewhere for something romantic. If they freak and shut you out, fuck them. Not someone you want to associate with anyway.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #130 - September 02, 2013, 02:23 PM
    Make sense?
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #131 - September 02, 2013, 07:09 PM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on September 01, 2013, 07:24 PM
    Have to disagree to a point. There can be a certain level of attraction, I've been in that situation, but if it's never going to happen and as a person you want them in your life regardless because you value the friendship it's a different thing. If years go by and you want to bang her 24/7, that's...unusual.


    Exactly. If you know it ain't happening but you still value someone's company all you do is bang one out in the toilet a few times, wait for the next fish in the sea to come round and then problem solved. Works for both female and male friends you might want to shag. If it takes years for you to get over sexual feelings towards a friend then there probably is a deeper problem.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #132 - September 02, 2013, 07:14 PM
    Quote from: devilsadvokat on September 01, 2013, 10:28 PM
    Value of a relationship - okay up to a point. Every friendship, male or female is important - they are supposed to make your life more better/interesting as you can make theirs. I am not discounting that you can make good friends with females - I am good friends with an obese woman in her late forties who has managed various pool clubs in the town.( It helps that she is damn good pool player).

    As your get older you lose touch with many bygone female friends - (never have had female work colleagues) the last circle probably from the 'the clubbing scene' from fifteen years back - at a reunion, you do notice the men manage to make it, a little heavier, some bald, some a little worse for wear but the females are generally absent. Who knows why? They get married/have kids but so do men. But there you are. Perhaps it is the drugs/drinks.

    So the female friends you tend to keep and see regularly at an older age are those that in my case seem to be the still single/on-off boyfriends/divorcees/changing boyfriends types and plus still sorta sexually attractive that enabled you to notice her personality quickly in the first place but now twenty years down the road the friendship comes to the fore.

    But are you saying that if said still attractive friend ever in a 'moment' placed her hands on your knob and worked it - would you still say no? Suppose that you have a million of these 'moments' would the answer be no in every case?

    So it is not simply a case of years going by and thinking of banging her 24/7, but in a year the question might rise once or twice. What would she be like in the facet you know nothing about?

    Whilst drunk a few female friends have indeed 'propositioned' in form a sentence but I have always managed to pretend I have not heard and up till now, none of the few ever repeated it again.



    Have you ever considered becoming a stream of consciousness surrealist author, like James Joyce or something?
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #133 - September 02, 2013, 07:15 PM
    Quote from: devilsadvokat on September 01, 2013, 11:48 PM
    Quod - your the exception that proves the rule.


    Just a pet peeve of mine, but that phrase doesn't even mean anything.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #134 - September 02, 2013, 07:53 PM
    Agreed. If there are exceptions then it proves it's not the rule.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #135 - September 02, 2013, 11:22 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on September 02, 2013, 10:25 AM
    Similar to what quod said. I'm good friends with several women who are physically good looking, I could totally understand why any guy would be attracted to them. But the fact that they are my friends, that I enjoy being around them because I think they're cool, means that I'm not looking at them with the intention to bone. Even after drinking or whatever, I've found that my friends who are girls are really just friends.


    Neither Quod nor yourself answered the main thrust of my questions. For Quod it was the 'she touches your knob and works it,? What then? I  probably explain it better in the original post.

    You don't deny that 'looks good' means ' you would bone her'? Nor if they came onto you - with no activity on your part - would you? Everyone objectifies.

    What makes girls 'cool'? Surely you notice the 'looks' before the coolness unless the coolness is tied up in their fashion sense. To me cool would be that they do certain things better than men or equal to - like playing pool, other sports, cards, knows their football, drives fast, lives fast, cracks better jokes etc etc. (Are most interesting girls tomboys?) Where I live and my circumstances don't allow me to meet cool musical instrument playing/poetry etc who also look good. I don't think most guys try to make friends with ugly girls. other cool things is that they do female things better than other females or as I have known, catwalk models, music video models, wriggles her bits on Sky 900 odd, a member of a pop group etc. 

    It's great though- female companionship in itself - sometimes that is just enough to keep the horn at bay.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #136 - September 02, 2013, 11:23 PM
    Quote from: asbie on September 02, 2013, 07:14 PM
    Have you ever considered becoming a stream of consciousness surrealist author, like James Joyce or something?


    Is this a diss?
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #137 - September 02, 2013, 11:54 PM
    So some hypothetical hot girl starts wanking me off? It would depend, if it was someone I saw a certain way it could feel akin to incest or just take me completely by surprise and make me incredibly uncomfortable, or I could be happily surprised and go along with it.

    It is possible to find someone attractive in the sense you see they are attractive without actually being attracted yourself. I think my mum's attractive. I think tigers are attractive. I think sunrises are attractive. I don't want to shag either my mum, a tiger or a sunrise.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #138 - September 03, 2013, 12:07 AM
    Let me give you three situations that have all happened to me. Situation one. A girl I'm friends with, have been since childhood. Pretty much grew up together, very beautiful but it would be like incest to me.

    Situation two. I notice a girl and I think she's attractive, so after a few minutes I start talking to her, We get on. I'm wondering if she fancies me also. She does. The more we get to know each other the more we like each other. It becomes something romantic.

    Situation three. I notice a girl and I think she's attractive, so after a few minutes I start talking to her, We get on. I'm wondering if she fancies me also. She doesn't. I accept this and pretty much class her as unavailable. The more we get to know each other the more we like each other. we develop a friendship we both value. And as she's never fancied me psysically I don't thnk of her as a possible sexual partner. Not going to happen. I moved passed it. Not at first but definitely evolved inot something platonic.

    Girl from situation one starts wanking me off. I'd be shocked and incredibly uncomfortable. I wouldn't like it.

    Situation two. I'd like it.

    Situation three. in the beginning of the relationship before I'd gotten over my attraction. I'd be surprised but presently surprised. At this point I'd be surprised and wouldn't really know how to respond. I'd be uncomfortable. Considering she'd never been interested in me and we've been friends for so long I'd also be thinking "What the fuck is going on?"
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #139 - September 03, 2013, 12:07 AM
    Lol - some hypothetical hot girl? No someone sexually attractive, especially if she is say not connected to someone else, so you not treading on someones else's toes, who is a friend for a long time - there is no activity on your part - you are not the instigator - would you turn it down, no matter how many times it represented itself?

    I don't know your sexuality but if a male friend of mine did the same, it would take an awful lot of scenarios to react positively in a sexual sense.

    Lets leave mothers out of it.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #140 - September 03, 2013, 12:15 AM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on September 03, 2013, 12:07 AM
    Let me give you three situations that have all happened to me. Situation one. A girl I'm friends with, have been since childhood. Pretty much grew up together, very beautiful but it would be like incest to me.

    Situation two. I notice a girl and I think she's attractive, so after a few minutes I start talking to her, We get on. I'm wondering if she fancies me also. She does. The more we get to know each other the more we like each other. It becomes something romantic.

    Situation three. I notice a girl and I think she's attractive, so after a few minutes I start talking to her, We get on. I'm wondering if she fancies me also. She doesn't. I accept this and pretty much class her as unavailable. The more we get to know each other the more we like each other. we develop a friendship we both value. And as she's never fancied me psysically I don't thnk of her as a possible sexual partner. Not going to happen. I moved passed it. Not at first but definitely evolved inot something platonic.

    Girl from situation one starts wanking me off. I'd be shocked and incredibly uncomfortable. I wouldn't like it.

    Situation two. I'd like it.

    Situation three. in the beginning of the relationship before I'd gotten over my attraction. I'd be surprised but presently surprised. At this point I'd be surprised and wouldn't really know how to respond. I'd be uncomfortable. Considering she'd never been interested in me and we've been friends for so long I'd also be thinking "What the fuck is going on?"


    Situation one concerns a total of one example - ok it does show it can happen. No dispute. But if she was fit, you would have never at least given it a moment's thoughts, and that might actually match one of the original moments I talked about earlier.

    Situation three. Me also - too a verbal proposition, like I said 'pretend not to hear' and even in the event I have asked you, it may also elicit the same response as yours, but on every occasion - I couldn't say - everytime.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #141 - September 03, 2013, 12:22 AM
    All three of the girls I mentioned are sexually attractive, in situation one I actually said she's very beautiful. I also said it would be like incest.

    Quote from: devilsadvokat on September 03, 2013, 12:07 AM
    Lol - some hypothetical hot girl? No someone sexually attractive, especially if she is say not connected to someone else, so you not treading on someones else's toes, who is a friend for a long time - there is no activity on your part - you are not the instigator - would you turn it down, no matter how many times it represented itself?


    I thought I'd answered this in the above posts, am I not being clear?
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #142 - September 03, 2013, 12:29 AM
    Perhaps I am not explaining the 'how many times it represents itself' - I am not a mathematician but it is something to do with probabilities. Like say when one is arguing about morality being an absolute or objective, it's late and I can't remember right now and the question is posed - is stealing always wrong? And the theists used to reply yes and they would NEVER ever steal, EVER like it is an absolute moral and the skeptics used to post the question that if the theists walked into a store a million times (this is the probabilities bit)- would they never ever/ever  steal a packet a crisps, the theist replied never, whilst the skeptics remained sceptical. Hope the analogy works.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #143 - September 03, 2013, 12:33 AM
    So over and over and over she does or tries to wank me off. I can't give a blanket yes or no. It really would depend on the girl and my relationship with her. See my above posts.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #144 - September 03, 2013, 12:40 AM
     Good night Quod - I am tired or you are tired? I will get back to you on the probabilities bit. Oh I don't mean wank you off. Just tacit acknowledgment, an initiation into something possible - I said worked it not keep on working it.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #145 - September 03, 2013, 02:34 PM
    You guys ever heard about The Ladder Theory?
    http://www.laddertheory.com/
    Quite interesting theory...
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #146 - September 03, 2013, 02:43 PM
    Stopped reading after "bitch rating system" and how all women are basically whores.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #147 - September 03, 2013, 02:49 PM
    Lol I missed that bit.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #148 - September 03, 2013, 04:25 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on September 03, 2013, 02:43 PM
    Stopped reading after "bitch rating system" and how all women are basically whores.




    How did I miss an article about dog breeding. That's certainly relevant to my interests.  wacko
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Friends with the opposite sex ?
     Reply #149 - September 03, 2013, 04:37 PM
    Quote from: Capricasix on September 03, 2013, 02:34 PM
    You guys ever heard about The Ladder Theory?
    http://www.laddertheory.com/
    Quite interesting theory...


    Thoughts, people?
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