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Theme Changer

 Topic: Hi all, glad to be here!

 (Read 5887 times)
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  • Hi all, glad to be here!
     OP - June 28, 2011, 01:30 AM

    Hello! I've enjoyed reading these forums and thought it was about time I became a member! A little about myself: I've been an ex-muslim (read atheist) for 3 years now. I'm 23 years old, am a first-gen Indian living in Canada, and attending grad school in stats.

    I basically grew up in a typical Sunni household: mom would always pester us to pray, we would fast like it was a competition, and all the '-llahs' you can imagine were part of natural conversation. In my teenage years, I had associated myself with the tablighi movement which made me somewhat zealous for the din. Around that time, my knowledge of hadith was very high, though my knowledge of the quran (i.e. translations) was nearly nil.

    When I was about 20, I had taken my first course in Calculus (with all the epsilon-delta jazz). It was a great for me because I had never thought of ideas from an argumentative perspective  (assumption/premise => rationale and validity of assumptions => conclusion). The method of questioning ideas then spilled over from mathematics to my ideologies. I had now begun to consider many of the confusing (read contradictory or false) claims from the hadith and the quran (the ones I was aware of anyhow) such as the meraj (when Muhammad traveled to the heavens in the 'blink of an eye'), or the fact that slavery was allowed. I started to question why I believed what I believed. It took time, but I eventually came to the conclusion that Islam is not the right religion, and within a much shorter time frame, no religion was right.

    The family was my next hurdle. One day as my brother (26 yo) and I were driving by the mosque, I summed up my courage and told him, "I don't think I'll ever get in to tabligh as thickly again". He replied, "I won't ever. I don't even pray dude". I heaved a heavy sigh, and admitted to him that I'd been having serious doubts about Islam and my faith, to which he reciprocated. It was a glorious moment for me, and for my brother as well I think. We immersed ourselves in documentaries about astronomy and biology, devoured reading material on science, and discussed the various fallacies or moral issues with Islam (as well as other religions). We had become atheists.

    My younger sister (18 yo) though was a different story all together. She was your typical 'good muslim girl': wouldn't argue with my parents much, wore a scarf, did most of the chores around the house, etc. On another drive, my brother and I both admitted to her that we were no longer muslims. She was shocked to say the least, and eventually we left the topic be. In about a year (by the time she turned 18 and had done half her first year of University), she and I had a frank discussion: she admitted that she herself had been doubtful of her faith and only now realized that Islam belongs to the Mythological canon, along with Greek, Roman, Christian, etc. religions.

    So now, both my siblings and I are atheists (she stopped wearing a scarf and is now more and more assertive of her freedom from religion, although she still does most of the chores to which I have no objection Tongue). Now the part you've all been waiting for: my parents. Basically, I've bashed Islam in the face whenever we discuss it. They see that I've poked great holes in Islam (rape of slaves, slaves, Aisha's age at the time of consummation), yet they have the impression that I'm still a muslim (i.e. I supposedly still pray when they tell me and I fast in Dennis Radaman). I haven't come out to them yet because I feel that it would cause my father (who is a hypochondriac) to get upset easily (he is however a heart patient). My mom is a little reasonable but thinks that it's best to keep my daily prayers (I don't pray) and my fasts (I don't fast) at the least. When the moment is right however, I do strike and let them know what's what.

    I'm hoping to come out to my parents full force: I've already come out to my cousin who is a hafiz, but he's a cool cat and was happy that I was happy. I think when the time is right (hopefully soon when they bring something up that is up-the-wazzoo religious), I will declare my indifference and then rejection of all religions.

    So here I ham at the moment. I'm happy to have found this forum and hope that we'll all be getting along swimmingly!

    Deine kleine Bruder (I don't speak German but I love opera Cheesy).
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #1 - June 28, 2011, 01:34 AM

    Welcome little bro. Have a parrot  parrot

    So how did you find this site, anyway?
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #2 - June 28, 2011, 01:37 AM

    Thanks Spinoza, I love your grilling of theists by the way. It's very eloquent and well argued. I found this site through Google since I was looking for something that related to me, an ex-muslim turned atheist (although I'm sure some or many of the members are theists).
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #3 - June 28, 2011, 01:46 AM

    It is? I think you have the wrong guy  Cheesy.

    You're very lucky wrt to your siblings. Must be nice to leave religion together, the three of you. Smiley
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #4 - June 28, 2011, 01:50 AM

    (although I'm sure some or many of the members are theists).


    Welcome Bruder. I actually think you'll be pleasantly surprised as most members are actually atheist/agnostic (I think).
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #5 - June 28, 2011, 02:00 AM

    It is? I think you have the wrong guy  Cheesy.

    You're very lucky wrt to your siblings. Must be nice to leave religion together, the three of you. Smiley


    Ahaha, I'm sure you want me to go on, lol. And yes, it was nice since we all could support each other. My brother has his own place outside town where we have wicked parties, and my sister and I have each other to lean on at home. Life ain't too bad  cool2
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #6 - June 28, 2011, 02:03 AM

    Tongue

    How religious are your parents, btw?
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #7 - June 28, 2011, 02:15 AM

    Well, my dad reads his dua'as, prays 5 times (same as my mom), and used to try a lot for us to do things similarly to him. To be honest though, I've heard tell from family members that my dad used to have a very open and liberal mind. It's only in the past 4 years that he's become very observant since he started having heart problems. I guess he wants immortality just that badly and I don't blame him. I just want him to accept that I have different ideas and values, but I think he's sort of  getting it.

    My mom prays, reads her dua'as, and fasts (my dad sometimes can't on account of his health). Her mom was overbearingly religious but she's a bit toned down. She has some liberal views (compared to hardcore sunnis): one wife per husband (monogamy), respect and understanding before marriage (that is not to say she doesn't like playing match maker and would actually be disappointed if I brought home a girl to marry), and used to but no longer cares for much/most of the hadith (except for those that promise reward, she's spiritually materialistic like that  cool2).

    Overall, they're nice people and I love them. I just want to be able to live on my own (which I should get to once I've completed my studies and have a job which helps me support them as well) so that I can be a drunk-rumpy-pumpy-driven heathen.
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #8 - June 28, 2011, 03:01 AM

    Sounds like fun. Now could you please explain to me why on earth anyone would want to study statistics at uni? Tongue
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #9 - June 28, 2011, 03:42 AM

    lol, I'm glad not just anyone would want to study stats! I personally enjoy the problem solving and research, especially when I have to do coding. Also, it's the backbone of all sciences since it pretty much is THE tool for the scientific method. I think helping to solve deeply quantified scientific problems (and some economic ones  whistling2) is fascinating, and rewarding to say the least! I presume you've gone to university as well? What is it that you've studied?
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #10 - June 28, 2011, 03:51 AM

    Your presumption is unwarranted. Smiley

    Though I intend to go, and will likely have to learn a load of stats there. :(
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #11 - June 28, 2011, 07:59 AM

    Welcome bro. My family is from Bangladesh living in Briton who are tablighi too. My dad spent decades on his tablighi missions travelling all of the world for several months a year. If there's a tablighi mosque around your area, there is a good chance he's been there or even knocked at your door.

    It's really great to hear how you came out together with your siblings. When I came out to my family I got disowned and most of them never saw me again.

    BTW, I'm also an ex-muslim atheist.
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #12 - June 28, 2011, 09:26 AM

    Welcome Kleine Bruder Smiley

    signwelcome

    I was beaming throughout your intro, your apostasy experience with your siblings is by far the most desirable and one that I wish my siblings had adopted. Congratulations for coming out from the ropes of Islam's myths and illogical beliefs so smoothly (so it seems).  Afro

    Look forward to exchanging views with you on various topics. parrot
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #13 - June 28, 2011, 09:26 AM

    Bienvenue! Naturellement voilá votre parrot:  parrot
    You are one of the lucky ones who live in a free country. Enjoy your freedom and keep your light burning!

    Religion is organized superstition
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #14 - June 28, 2011, 11:28 AM

    Welcome! Thanks for intro, have fun, and don't mind the locals Wink
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #15 - June 28, 2011, 11:44 AM

    Oi who you calling local, Chrissy? 001_tongue
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #16 - June 28, 2011, 12:15 PM

    The family was my next hurdle. One day as my brother (26 yo) and I were driving by the mosque, I summed up my courage and told him, "I don't think I'll ever get in to tabligh as thickly again". He replied, "I won't ever. I don't even pray dude". I heaved a heavy sigh, and admitted to him that I'd been having serious doubts about Islam and my faith, to which he reciprocated. It was a glorious moment for me, and for my brother as well I think. We immersed ourselves in documentaries about astronomy and biology, devoured reading material on science, and discussed the various fallacies or moral issues with Islam (as well as other religions). We had become atheists.

    My younger sister (18 yo) though was a different story all together. She was your typical 'good muslim girl': wouldn't argue with my parents much, wore a scarf, did most of the chores around the house, etc. On another drive, my brother and I both admitted to her that we were no longer muslims. She was shocked to say the least, and eventually we left the topic be. In about a year (by the time she turned 18 and had done half her first year of University), she and I had a frank discussion: she admitted that she herself had been doubtful of her faith and only now realized that Islam belongs to the Mythological canon, along with Greek, Roman, Christian, etc. religions.

    This is really nice to hear.     How did you come across this forum?

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #17 - June 28, 2011, 12:20 PM

    Thank you all for your warm welcome, I too hope for a lively exchange of ideas. I also do NOT take for granted that a) I live in one of the most secular countries in the WEST and b) My brother and sister are very open minded and are both supportive and non-vindictive people. Reading a lot of your stories, I feel even luckier, so hopefully I won't be flaunting it in all'y'all's faces. Oh, and thanks for the  parrot (am I even allowed to show one  Roll Eyes)

    Quote
    This is really nice to hear.     How did you come across this forum?


    I Google searched for somewhere I could share stories and ideas with other ex-muslims, and this was the first thing that showed up! I should have just clicked on "I'm feeling lucky!".
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #18 - June 28, 2011, 12:25 PM

    so you left Islam before even reading about the exmuslim arguments?  what arguments lead you to leave islam then?

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #19 - June 28, 2011, 02:49 PM

    Quote
    so you left Islam before even reading about the exmuslim arguments?  what arguments lead you to leave islam then?


    Hi IsLame, I don't intend to be rude, but perhaps you should read my first post (although I do admit that it is a bit lengthy, but paragraphs 3-4 should suffice). I just don't want to spam the thread with information that's already been posted out of courtesy to other readers.  thnkyu
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #20 - June 28, 2011, 03:18 PM

    Willkommen mein kleiner Bruder parrot


    Sounds like fun. Now could you please explain to me why on earth anyone would want to study statistics at uni? Tongue

    I was just gonna ask that. I HATE stats Tongue

    My brother has his own place outside town where we have wicked parties

    LOLOLOL you actual rebels.

    b) My brother and sister are very open minded and are both supportive and non-vindictive people. Reading a lot of your stories, I feel even luckier, so hopefully I won't be flaunting it in all'y'all's faces. Oh, and thanks for the  parrot (am I even allowed to show one  Roll Eyes)

    NO YOU'RE NOT  grin12
    Yeah you're a lucky bastard  Tongue
    Would your family care to adopt me? I could do with an open minded sibling or two -.-

    Started from the bottom, now I'm here
    Started from the bottom, now my whole extended family's here

    JOIN THE CHAT
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #21 - June 28, 2011, 03:43 PM

    Hi Jema, danke fur deine willkommen!

    Quote
    I was just gonna ask that. I HATE stats

    I'd like to say that's sad, but it's really not 'cause the competish just keeps getting smaller!

    Quote
    Yeah you're a lucky bastard Would your family care to adopt me? I could do with an open minded sibling or two -.-

    Aww, I hope they get around to being more sibling like and less conformist. Unfortunately, all I can say is that I AM a lucky bastard, and that there is no way that I know of which will make your siblings more sympathizing. Good luck!

  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #22 - June 28, 2011, 03:50 PM

    Welcome to the forum. And welcome to humanity.

     parrot

    "Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
            Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

    - John Keats
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #23 - June 28, 2011, 04:01 PM

    a huge welcome, kleine Bruder!  Wow, what an amazing story, and you are soooo
    lucky to have a brother with the same level of enlightenment as you!
    I enjoyed reading your intro, as it is very positive and assuring that one day
    in the future, future generations will completely abolish all the oppression
    of the people (epsecially women) around the world in the name of gawd!

     far away hug

    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #24 - June 28, 2011, 04:18 PM

    a huge welcome, kleine Bruder!  Wow, what an amazing story, and you are soooo
    lucky to have a brother with the same level of enlightenment as you!
    I enjoyed reading your intro, as it is very positive and assuring that one day
    in the future, future generations will completely abolish all the oppression
    of the people (epsecially women) around the world in the name of gawd!

     far away hug


    Thank you, and I hope so too! Some of my friends call me a wanton feminist, but I always come out the saint because I justify my views based on the prejudices and struggles of both my mom and my sister.

    Welcome to the forum. And welcome to humanity.

     parrot


    Thanks mate, it's a pleasure being good without god.
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #25 - June 28, 2011, 04:35 PM

    Kleine Bruder, es ist toll dass du bist hier mit uns. (My German is terrible also!)
    Good luck with your university course.  Afro
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #26 - June 28, 2011, 04:40 PM

    Kleine Bruder, es ist toll dass du bist hier mit uns. (My German is terrible also!)
    Good luck with your university course.  Afro

    Danke! Wo wohnen Sie?
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #27 - June 28, 2011, 05:11 PM

    German? I though you were Dutch.
    (kleine=small, bruder=brother, also in Dutch)

    And WTF is tabligi jamat? Huh?

    I shouldn't be here. Really. Shaytan SWT deluded ALL of us. Amen.
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #28 - June 28, 2011, 05:48 PM

    German? I though you were Dutch.
    (kleine=small, bruder=brother, also in Dutch)

    And WTF is tabligi jamat? Huh?


    Same root languages AFTER latin I suppose... How do you write your name with vowels?

    Tabligi jamat is where a bunch of guys camp out in different mosques for various periods of time (a couple of days up to a year), and read to each other from the hadith and stories of the sahaba. They take their sunnas very seriously and can be extremely self-righteous , just like any other sect in Islam.
  • Re: Hi all, glad to be here!
     Reply #29 - June 28, 2011, 06:00 PM

    ah, another mathematician. well technically a sell-out statistician(academic elitism fuckyeah) but a mathematician nonetheless.

    welcome!
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