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Theme Changer

 Poll

  • Question: Same as above
  • Yes - brutally and often - 5 (4.6%)
  • Yes - brutally but not often only when they really flipped out - 10 (9.3%)
  • Yes - never brutally, but often - 7 (6.5%)
  • Yes - occasionally - 21 (19.4%)
  • No - never - 24 (22.2%)
  • emotional abuse - 29 (26.9%)
  • sexual abuse - 12 (11.1%)
  • Total Voters: 68

 Topic: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?

 (Read 16718 times)
  • Previous page 1 2 34 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #60 - July 10, 2011, 05:12 PM

    I live in a place where it's very unusual not to be physically abused - or at least given the occasional hit - so I never actually realised it was considered "abuse" until I started talking to normal, healthy people on the internet who'd tell me to call the police.

    Emotional abuse is a whole other subject which I'm not going to go into, but I'll tell you that it involves a lost twin, an abortion and (probably) spousification. But whatever.

    Sexual abuse... I've been molested twice by a couple members of my extended family.
    Oh and I've had to suck the tits of an aunt I don't see often when I was little - so that makes me a rape victim - but that wasn't terribly traumatic since I didn't understand what the hell was going on at the time and the memory only surfaced very recently, when I was able to deal with it.
     Mostly, though, the only sexual thingy is just creepy old great-uncles staring at my tits or attempting to grope me while we exchange salaams and how are yous.


  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #61 - July 10, 2011, 05:31 PM

    'Spousification'... as  in, being treated like a spouse by a parent? Hmm, I've learnt a new word.

    (about your experiences - Would offer you an e-hug but then that would just look just meretricious after the above remark^ and I get the impression you're awkward with such things so... um, here is a bouncing green thing. bounce )









    *sneaky hug* hugs
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #62 - July 10, 2011, 05:40 PM

    Anyway, since we're doing the emotional thing... who else was told by their parents that they were in their rights, Islamicly, to kill their children? My mother used to say I would burn in hell for disobeying her and if she told me to jump out of the window, I was obliged to do it. She threatened to do that a lot... not terribly traumatising but for a young child it can be pretty frightening... just wondering if it's more common than I thought it was, or if my mother is just a weirdo?
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #63 - July 10, 2011, 06:01 PM

    ^My mum used to do that too. She's stopped now for some strange reason.
    +
    Yay, bouncing green thing! dance
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #64 - July 10, 2011, 06:38 PM

    Anyway, since we're doing the emotional thing... who else was told by their parents that they were in their rights, Islamicly, to kill their children? My mother used to say I would burn in hell for disobeying her and if she told me to jump out of the window, I was obliged to do it. She threatened to do that a lot... not terribly traumatising but for a young child it can be pretty frightening... just wondering if it's more common than I thought it was, or if my mother is just a weirdo?


    Nah, I was told it too.

    Always being told about girls back home who were killed, girls I didn't know though, but just how if we were in Morocco she could have me killed like that *snaps her finger* because it's their right.

    Biggest threat was being sent back home where we would lose all rights, which would in turn lead to ^^ the above.   Roll Eyes

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #65 - July 10, 2011, 06:39 PM

    Sorry to hear about your experiences Sunbul. 

    Again, please someone explain to me how this is a test from allah?   finmad

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #66 - July 10, 2011, 07:07 PM

    ^I was a misotheist for a good three years 'cause of all that crap. If God is evil, then that explains a hell of a lot.

    *sneaky hug* hugs

    Wow, I actually didn't notice this the first time I read your post... good ninja skillz you've got there.

  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #67 - July 10, 2011, 07:09 PM

    Anyway, since we're doing the emotional thing... who else was told by their parents that they were in their rights, Islamicly, to kill their children? My mother used to say I would burn in hell for disobeying her and if she told me to jump out of the window, I was obliged to do it. She threatened to do that a lot... not terribly traumatising but for a young child it can be pretty frightening... just wondering if it's more common than I thought it was, or if my mother is just a weirdo?


    My mom has said something very similar when I was around 5 or so a few times and she had no muslim or even religious background. Don't worry, PS - we're "normal".

    "That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #68 - July 10, 2011, 07:26 PM

    Wow, I actually didn't notice this the first time I read your post... good ninja skillz you've got there.


    Forced to learn that as a horny teen with no lock on his door for some time...
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #69 - July 10, 2011, 08:02 PM

    The answer NO, NEVER is given by only 14% of the respondents. That is the most worrying part of the story I think....

    Religion is organized superstition
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #70 - July 10, 2011, 08:10 PM

    ^Does that say something about Muslim culture, or were/are we just bad kids?
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #71 - July 10, 2011, 08:22 PM

    ^ Yes it says something about muslim culture as it has been compared here to what???  Tongue

    The bad kids joke was pretty funny.

    "That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #72 - August 25, 2011, 07:23 PM

    i personally had it very lucky. my dad's a dick but my mum's the loveliest person and she wanted to see me succeed.

    i suppose i was never abused, as all my physical confrontations came from bullies who thought they were gangsters. i don't count that shit as abuse :/
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #73 - August 25, 2011, 07:31 PM

    Nope never been physically abused
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #74 - August 25, 2011, 07:34 PM

    my mom.. a fucking psychopath.  I WISH there was an excuse for her,
    alcohol or religion.  Fucking tortured us both physically and mentally
    with a fucking calm smile on her face.  bitch.

    my dad... would get drunk because of my mom, filled with rage, and
    come in my room in the middle of the night and start screaming at me
    and punching me.  

    and thats all i have to say about that

    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #75 - August 25, 2011, 07:37 PM

    my mom.. a fucking psychopath.  I WISH there was an excuse for her,
    alcohol or religion.  Fucking tortured us both physically and mentally
    with a fucking calm smile on her face.  bitch.

    my dad... would get drunk because of my mom, filled with rage, and
    come in my room in the middle of the night and start screaming at me
    and punching me.  

    and thats all i have to say about that


     far away hug hugs
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #76 - August 25, 2011, 08:50 PM

    A big hug to all in this thread who have gone through so much  far away hug

    Compared to some of the experiences here, I've been pretty fortunate. I was never physically or sexually abused, but I was always a timid, anxious little child and having to watch or listen to the heated and sometimes explosive arguments between my parents made me very fearful since sometimes it got so bad, I really thought my mum would get hurt. I would hide in my room, cover my ears and cry and pray to god, wondering why he never intervened in any way.
    I shut down when faced with confrontations even now and if I come across two people arguing and yelling, I get very nervous, break into a cold sweat and feel an overwhelming urge to leave the area.

    I think both my parents have psychological problems, but I think my mum is more 'unhinged'. She lives in a perpetual state of paranoia and anxiety and some of it has passed on to me. She seems to have gotten a little better on the paranoia bit in the past few years.

    I was spanked a few times by my mum when I was very little. She took out all of her frustrations on me, and still does. It used to be spanking when I was young, but then it switched to emotional abuse. Now that I am older, I realise her anger and frustrations were because of my dad and how he treated her. I don't forgive her for it, but I understand now.

    I was a very quiet and meek child and never got into a fraction of the mischief that other children do. Yet my mum always made me feel very wicked and a pain in the arse. She would routinely threaten to 'pack' me off to India and abandon me in a boarding school, which terrified me. I have a vague memory of being 3 or 4 years old and she told me that line and I broke down crying and clung to her ankle and begged her not to leave me and that I'd do anything in return. She didn't seem to mind my grovelling for at least a good few minutes before telling me to stop acting silly.
    I remember crying a lot as a child. I would sit in a corner and wonder if I was adopted .. I think I was pretty convinced I was adopted and my folks weren't my 'real' parents, which is why they could be so cruel because no real parent would be so mean ... bless my little socks lol

    I don't have any memory of her being warm and affectionate. If I fell down, I would just get a 'Good, you deserve it. What's the use in crying now'. I feel a pain inside even as an adult when I see a kid get hurt and have their parents hug and console them. I'll never know what that feels like.
    I've been called all sorts of names on a regular basis. Another memory was when I was in my early teens and my folks returned home after being out shopping for a few hours. Mum asked what I had been up to and I said nothing much, doing my homework (well I was being naughty and playing computer games instead of studying but that's a different story lol). And for some bizarre reason she murmured in this snide way that I was probably 'entertaining men' while they were away... wtf  Huh?
    I remember feeling so hurt over that comment and cried for at least a couple of hours in my room because it hurt so bad to think my own mother thought of me as some kind of prostitute when I had done nothing to deserve such a label. And it was so out the blue and completely baseless.
    I guess she's just fucked in the head Grin there's no way to tell what's genuine and what's made up when she speaks so I pretty much disregard everything she says these days!

    There's loads of other stuff like her constantly mentioning how my dad didn't want me to be born... whatever that means  Roll Eyes No idea if that's true or another one of her fabrications, but it was such a cheap shot... she would constantly say shit about my dad (when he was not around) in the mistaken belief that I'd decide to be her bestest friend and ditch my dad. But I always saw through the pathetic tactics, and even if all that crap about my dad was true, all it did was make me respect her even less.

    My dad is another loony, but to his credit he was mostly nice to me , especially when I was younger. Any way if I haven't put anyone to sleep just yet, I'll stop now coz I'm getting bored of typing this! Grin

  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #77 - August 25, 2011, 08:54 PM

    My mom and dad beat me occasionally. I got the brunt of it since I was the only son. But I wouldn't even call it abuse.  It wasn't often at all.. like maybe 4-5 times a year. I deserved it half the time, I was a naughty kid.  Embarrassed

    *Note: We lived in Iraq, Kuwait and Bangladesh most of my childhood. They never beat us in Canada.. for obvious reasons.

    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #78 - August 25, 2011, 08:59 PM

    My mum does... weird shit which I recently learned could be counted as sexual abuse.

    I figured I may as well add that to the long list of shit-that's-really-not-so-bad I've bitched about to this thread.
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #79 - August 25, 2011, 08:59 PM

    None

    Little Fly, Thy summer's play
    My thoughtless hand has brushed away.

    I too dance and drink, and sing,
    Till some blind hand shall brush my wing.

    Therefore I am a happy fly,
    If I live or if I die.
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #80 - August 25, 2011, 09:13 PM

    No severe abuse, but I used to get whipped a lot with a clotheshanger when I was a kid. Never taught me anything though. I still ran away from home and causeed fires knowing I would get whipped later Tongue

    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
    In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
    Can't it be, can't it be mine

    https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #81 - August 25, 2011, 09:14 PM

    ^You crazy saudi kids

    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #82 - August 26, 2011, 05:10 PM

    Sometimes it's easier to have bastard parent(s)- my mum is wonderful. I feel sorry for her. She was young when my dad died, they were really close, and she was left with 4 young children to raise. It was hard enough without the emotional abuse from extended male family members. My mum is so sweet and naive, like a child, but strong and smart too. The weak bastard men hated that my mum didn't crumble and die cos my dad died, they hated that she managed to support us all, not have to sell the house, they were jealous cos our house was bigger and better than theirs. They hated that a woman bested them.

    My mum was a wreck barely holding on with a brave face that hid the broken child inside. I feel such sorrow for her. I feel so bad that I let her down. My eldest sis was a wreck (drugs/drink in excess) and left home at 16, my second sis is a total nutcase. I was the good one, and I tried, I really tried, but I just couldn't cope in that environment, with all the bullshit of 'sabar' and god's tests, suffering in silence, being respectful and kind to bastards cos they're family. I just couldn't cope with it plus the constant knowledge of my mum's lifelong determination to suffer in lonliness without my dad. I couldn't cope with living a way that would please her, marry a muslim who would ruin my life, I didn't want this, the inlaw crap. The first part of my life was so full of drama, like living on the head of a pin, even the slightest tremor threatened to destroy the world. It was so tense. I couldn't bear the thought of marrying a guy and having that all over again cos, lets face it, this is how it is with muslim families!

    I had to leave. I didn't leave her, I wish she could see that. Someone said about their dad that one day he'll realise he's the common denominator to people being jerks or something, this actually made me cry because this is how my mum feels, I know it is. She must feel like she's a bad person that's why everyone leaves her, that's why all her kids are screwed up, that's why her siblings are bastards to her. My mum is so great it tears me apart that I'm causing her so much grief but I have no other choice- I can't sacrifice my life for her, I tried but I just couldn't physically or mentally do it. I wasn't abused, but my whole life since my dad died when I was 12 has been constant tension. There was always some crap, like a finger prodding continuously, at first you can ignore it but after years and years it can drive you insane. I just couldn't go on like that in that environment, I just had to escape.

    Life's very odd for me at the moment. I've never been the emotional type, I'm a strong person but I feel so overwhelmed. I'm grateful to have found this forum to talk.

    I read a book called 'The Tent' by margaret atwood and there's a chapter in it called orphans with several little poems describing orphans. One of them was the freedom they have, not having parents expectations to live up to. I suppose in a way this would be liberating. I'm grateful that I have such a wonderful mum but it makes me feel like shit. Sometimes it's easier to have bastard parents.
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #83 - August 26, 2011, 05:16 PM

    Cry

    It's all the painful to leave good parents who deserve nothing but the best. hugs saffire.
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #84 - August 26, 2011, 05:19 PM

    Sometimes it's easier to have bastard parent(s)- my mum is wonderful. I feel sorry for her. She was young when my dad died, they were really close, and she was left with 4 young children to raise. It was hard enough without the emotional abuse from extended male family members. My mum is so sweet and naive, like a child, but strong and smart too. The weak bastard men hated that my mum didn't crumble and die cos my dad died, they hated that she managed to support us all, not have to sell the house, they were jealous cos our house was bigger and better than theirs. They hated that a woman bested them.

    My mum was a wreck barely holding on with a brave face that hid the broken child inside. I feel such sorrow for her. I feel so bad that I let her down. My eldest sis was a wreck (drugs/drink in excess) and left home at 16, my second sis is a total nutcase. I was the good one, and I tried, I really tried, but I just couldn't cope in that environment, with all the bullshit of 'sabar' and god's tests, suffering in silence, being respectful and kind to bastards cos they're family. I just couldn't cope with it plus the constant knowledge of my mum's lifelong determination to suffer in lonliness without my dad. I couldn't cope with living a way that would please her, marry a muslim who would ruin my life, I didn't want this, the inlaw crap. The first part of my life was so full of drama, like living on the head of a pin, even the slightest tremor threatened to destroy the world. It was so tense. I couldn't bear the thought of marrying a guy and having that all over again cos, lets face it, this is how it is with muslim families!

    I had to leave. I didn't leave her, I wish she could see that. Someone said about their dad that one day he'll realise he's the common denominator to people being jerks or something, this actually made me cry because this is how my mum feels, I know it is. She must feel like she's a bad person that's why everyone leaves her, that's why all her kids are screwed up, that's why her siblings are bastards to her. My mum is so great it tears me apart that I'm causing her so much grief but I have no other choice- I can't sacrifice my life for her, I tried but I just couldn't physically or mentally do it. I wasn't abused, but my whole life since my dad died when I was 12 has been constant tension. There was always some crap, like a finger prodding continuously, at first you can ignore it but after years and years it can drive you insane. I just couldn't go on like that in that environment, I just had to escape.

    Life's very odd for me at the moment. I've never been the emotional type, I'm a strong person but I feel so overwhelmed. I'm grateful to have found this forum to talk.

    I read a book called 'The Tent' by margaret atwood and there's a chapter in it called orphans with several little poems describing orphans. One of them was the freedom they have, not having parents expectations to live up to. I suppose in a way this would be liberating. I'm grateful that I have such a wonderful mum but it makes me feel like shit. Sometimes it's easier to have bastard parents.


    I'm sorry for the pain you feel.

    Do you keep in touch with your mum?

    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #85 - August 26, 2011, 07:15 PM

    Since I left there was one meeting which was awkward- I can never articulate properly to my mum and get all gibberish. Since then it's been silence all round. I've wanted to call her many times but I just can't, I get so stressed I feel physically ill. There's so much raw emotion atm. I emailed her today, after reading a few posts on this topic. I just had to, to explain things. My mum knows, deep down, why I had to leave, and in many ways I know she understands why I left Islam, but she needs to hold on to her ideas for her own sanity, I think, and I represent something she refuses to face. It's very complex. I told her that we can't not talk forever, a living corpse to each other! I told her that her wants for me are irrational and unfair, unfair that she resents my happiness because it doesn't coincide with what she deems as good. Unfair that in order to have  a relationship I must be miserable, be muslim (or pretend at least), marry a muslim man with all the associations! and dedicate my life to pushing out babies and getting fat!

    I told her this is unfair, like me telling her to take of her hijaab, wear a mini skirt and go to a nightclub!

    Will post what happens if anything does! There's so much mre crap too but cba talking about it atm.

    Zaiba, thanks! I read your post, then I read the whiny one of nobody responding. The thing is, sometimes there just isn't anything to say- this is why sometimes conversations are better in real life. I did respond, but you didn't see. The only response I had to your post was a solemn look of sorrow, empathy and understanding- no words could justify what I felt.
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #86 - August 26, 2011, 10:32 PM

    The only time my parents had hit me was when I got bad grades. I'm not sure if I would call it abuse though coz it never really mentally affected me. But I had it really easy compared to some of my peers who regularly had bruises, usually for the most minor offences.

    Although once I got my ass beaten with a clotheshanger for stealing my dads ATM and going for a weekend trip to Bahrain. But I think I thoroughly deserved that one.

    "All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit." - Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #87 - August 26, 2011, 11:25 PM

    stealing my dads ATM

    Heavy fuckers, aren't they?

  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #88 - August 26, 2011, 11:26 PM

    JOTM. Grin

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Personal question - were you physically abused as a child?
     Reply #89 - August 26, 2011, 11:29 PM

    Heavy fuckers, aren't they?

    (Clicky for piccy!)


    Lol ATM card

    "All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit." - Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason
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