Abood, thanks.
bleak times. but somehow i keep moving on throughout it all. i have a nephew now who depends on me (when my sister needs me to babysit) and i never realized how much work a baby could be. knowing it is different than experiencing it. and she is going back to work soon so will depend on me even more, when i'm not working or doing school next sem. anyway, i guess things like that are the only reason to even keep going on when you think about how pointless life is and that none of this matters - at least there's this.
and keep on being an illusion... everything is an illusion.
if only we could see into each other's souls, i think that might solve a lot of problems... conflicts and misunderstandings with friends, being an ex-muslim to muslim parents who will never understand me that way, etc. and at least this way people would know the truth and if you're genuine or not about something, because they can see you in.... and you wouldn't have to explain yourself to them because they would just know.
i'm rambling now, but i just came here because since this is my space i wanted to post these lyrics of frighteningly relatable song for me (and i'm sure a lot of us) by david bazan.
he was an evangelical christian raised by evangelicals, now turned skeptic and agnostic. he was the lead singer of a christian indie rock band called pedro the lion, but now is a solo musician.
david bazan
"hard to be"
You've heard the story
You know how it goes
Once upon a garden
We were lovers with no clothes
Fresh from the soil
We were beautiful and true
In control of our emotions
'Til we ate the poison fruit
And now it's hard to be
Hard to be
Hard to be a decent human being
Wait just a minute
You expect me to believe
That all this misbehaving
Grew from one enchanted tree?
And helpless to fight it
We should all be satisfied
With this magical explanation
For why the living die
And why it's hard to be
Hard to be
Hard to be a decent human being
Childbirth is painful
We toil to grow our food
Ignorance made us hungry
Information made us no good
Every burden misunderstood
So I swung my tassel
To the left side of my cap
Knowing after graduation
There would be no going back
And no congratulations
From my faithful family
Some of whom are already fasting
To intercede for me
Because it's hard to be
Hard to be
Hard to be a decent human being
Topic: Cake and catharsis - my blog