Seems you're similar to me in the crazy ways lol- it's difficult to explain how I 'got over it'- I don't think you can ever get away from the craziness. I have ups and downs, and lately I feel so much better about myself. I constantly reaffirm that I'm awesome, even when I don't feel it, sometimes ESPECIALLY when I don't feel it. I don't worry about the things I've said- or at least I stop myself. I've realised that sometimes this over thinking and worrying is pointless and actually I'm a nice person cos I actually feel so bad when I realise later I've been mean etc, but I've realised meh, shit happens. Sometimes I might come across wrong, sometimes I may be misunderstood but I know I'm a good person so forget it!
I think too much so now I focus it- I write constructively. Before I used to write but it was just bits here and there, random crap that made some sense mixed with a lot of crazy. Now I write proper scripts with a beginning middle AND end! Haha this was hard for me as focus has always been my achilles heel! This writing like this helps my brain thinky thing- now when my brain is whirring at super speed I think about my characters, I have internal dialogues as the different characters (being bipolar/schizo/loony really helps here!) then I sit at my laptop and type all the things I've thought about into my script- i think and think about the story, what happens, what happens next, what she says, what he says, etc and in my mind I write.
I feel like a child- when I'm happy I want to literally laugh loud and jump wildly and scream 'YAY! HAHAHAH' then when I feel sad it's like the world has fallen apart literally, there's no tomorrow, nothing is good, everything will be terrible forever and ever etc. I'm OK with that now, I'm glad that even at age 29 I can feel happy like a child doeseven if I have to put up with the bad part. Not many adults can feel this way. I sometimes feel low and now instead of hiding and being afraid of it I wallow in it- I say to myself 'right, today I'm going to have a sad day' and really revel in it in a hollywood/bollywood movie style- watch the saddest movie, have a good cry , feel sorry for myself and the entire world, relive sad memories, worry, etc but then the next day I get to 'normal'.
It's difficult to get to the good place where you're still crazy in the good ways (interesting, childlike, creative) and in control of the bad parts- it's like a glass wall and you're stood on one side, you just have to figure out how to get to the other side and look at yourself and your situation from a different perspective.
I know I'm not 'right' or 'normal' and I know life would be simpler if I was- but generally I feel happy that I'm unique and 'weird'
P.S Are you in the UK?
Topic: Nothing.