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Theme Changer

 Topic: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

 (Read 9622 times)
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     OP - August 23, 2011, 06:39 PM
    Post your favorite WTF quotes that you come across in daily life! On Facebook, YouTube, blogs... Fundies just say the darndest things!

    I'll start with something I just saw on Facebook:

    "He [Richard Dawkins] claims to be a scientist yet he fails to find God through his science, which is so obvious to see, what with the Big Bang and failure of evolution and all. That is because incomplete knowledge of science makes one an atheist and complete knowledge of it makes one a Muslim."

    (NOTE: inspiration from www.fstdt.com)
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #1 - August 23, 2011, 07:01 PM
    I wish I had some. I first have to get recognized (make YouTube vids and get views), then I'll get fans. And with fans come haters. And with haters come awesome comments and messages like these
    ... I seriously need a new laptop ASAP

    Also we need a similar thread like this in the Arabic and Urdu boards. I remember reading some funny arabic comments on YouTube
    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
    In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
    Can't it be, can't it be mine

    https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #2 - August 26, 2011, 06:38 PM
    "Atheism has nothing to do with reason or science. It is more about psychology. The debates I have had with professors & academics have made me come to this conclusion. For example, during my debate with Professor Simon Blackburn on God's existence something interesting happened. When I responded to his main contentions there was a shift in the debate. He started to focus more on issues related to sociology & not philosophy! In other words he was just making subjective value judgements. Typical." -- Hamza Tzortzis

    I just love the bitchy, Desperate Housewives tone of that post Tongue
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #3 - August 26, 2011, 11:01 PM
    http://www.freethoughtpedia.com/wiki/Funny_theist_quotes

    Hilarious
    "All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit." - Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #4 - August 26, 2011, 11:02 PM
    Quote
    Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.


    Quote
    I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!


     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
    "All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit." - Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #5 - August 26, 2011, 11:17 PM
    LOL at the gravity thing- this is an obvious case of a fool with a little bit of knowledge and screwing it up- gravity is a theory that is not validated or properly understood. The fact that gravity is powerful enough to affect planetary motion, to keep us on the ground etc and the fact it can be so easily overcome by a relatively weak magnet, this is one basic aspect I understand. I haven't looked into it properly but now I don't have to since I've got my answer- it's SIN!  Cheesy
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #6 - August 27, 2011, 12:10 AM
    Quote from: Faiz on August 26, 2011, 11:02 PM
    Quote
    Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

    Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy

    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
    In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
    Can't it be, can't it be mine

    https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #7 - August 27, 2011, 01:28 AM
    Quote
    "Stop using your aql [stop using your mind], when there are clear Islaamic standards to go by."
    ~ Abu Umar.

     Cheesy
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #8 - August 27, 2011, 01:35 AM
    Who's Abu Omar?
    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
    In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
    Can't it be, can't it be mine

    https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #9 - August 27, 2011, 03:28 AM
    Just a former user on 'TheStudentRoom' forum.
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #10 - August 27, 2011, 04:19 AM
    Ha, I remember him. I liked him 'cos he told it as it was, and you could see (well, not literally) other Muslim users getting uncomfortable about what a literal interpretation of Islam was actually like.
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #11 - August 28, 2011, 07:35 AM
    http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69323

    THE OP'S SECOND POST!

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahh

    FUCK, I'M SUCH AN EVIL BASTARD FOR LAUGHING BUT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    (read everything before her second post to get it)
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #12 - August 28, 2011, 08:10 AM
    Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy

    That whole thread is comedy gold. This had me almost falling off the chair:

    Quote
    Ask him what he believes; i.e. whether he is muslim, hindu, crhistian, jew or athiest etc.

    if he is jew, read to him surah baqrah especially the verses concerning the chidren of israel
    eg. O Children of Israel! call to mind the (special) favour which I bestowed upon you, and fulfil your covenant with Me as I fulfil My Covenant with you, and fear none but Me. 2:40

    for a christian read surah marium

    for a hindu/athiest read verses of tawheed and others that show Allah's infinite power
    eg surah ikhlas and ayatul kursi

    and obviously to a jinn you have to read surah jinn. Also you can ask him to find muslim jinn who may help him learn more about Islam directly from a creation like himself.

    for all of the above read surah al-fatiha

    if he doesnt comply then the jinn must be burned.

    Ok Einstein, what are jinns made from? You wanna burn one?

    Quote
    this is so helpful. thank you and may allah give you reward for your possitive advice.
    im dealing with a crazy hindu jinn

    Ok. Sure.

    Quote
    here we have few brothers and sisters who dont believe that jinns can possess humans or you have been possessed by one of those jinns. hope you'll overlook their mistake and forgive them sister.

    may Allah help you.

    PS: as you said that the jinn is hindu, is it possible if you could prove Islam to him thru hindu scriptures? eg. prophet Muhammed being mentioned. i can send the info to you inshallah.

    So she's possessed by a Hindu jinn, who presumably would be about as old as the fn Hindu scriptures anyway and most likely would have read them, but you can convert him to Islam by making him read Hindu scriptures.

    Moth_er_fucker. The only sane post in the thread:

    Quote
    I am asking this question with all respect and honesty. Have you ever taken psych drugs such as anti-psychotics? If so, which ones?

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #13 - August 28, 2011, 08:20 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on August 28, 2011, 08:10 AM
    Ok Einstein, what are jinns made from? You wanna burn one?


    That reminds me of an Islamic anecdote about a young student coming back home from communist Russia, now an atheist. So he boasts of having three questions that no one has been able to answer. He talks to the archetypal wise sheikh, and one of the questions was "If Jinns are made out of fire, how does putting them in hell punish them?".

    The wise sheikh slaps him. The student says "What the fuck, dude?", the wise sheikh says "You are of flesh, and so is my hand. A Jinn is of fire, and so is Jahannam."

    Upon hearing this, everyone present was enlightened.
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #14 - August 28, 2011, 08:28 AM
    Ok, I'm still not enlightened. Tongue
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #15 - August 28, 2011, 08:38 AM
    Tongue

    Btw, I just found this on Facebook:

    عذراً .. نيوُتن !
    محبـۃ الرحمن هي التي تجذبنآ

    عذراً .. ديگآرت !
    ٵنـآ مسلم إذاً ٵنآ موجود
    ............
    عذراً .. دآفنشے !
    الفتآة المسلمـۃ ٵجمل من الموناليزآ

    عذراً .. ٵديسوُن !
    القرآن الگريم هو مصبآح العآلم

    عذراً .. ٵفلٱطوٌن !
    المدينـۃ المنورة هي المدينـۃ الفآضلـۃ

    عذراً .. رومآ !(y)
    گل الطرق تؤدي إلے مگـۃ ! ♥

    Translation:

    Sorry, Newton!
    It is God's love that attracts us

    Sorry, Descartes!
    I am a Muslim, therefore I am

    Sorry, Da Vinci!
    The Muslim girl is prettier than the Mona Lisa

    Sorry, Edison!
    The Holy Qur'an is the bulb lighting the world

    Sorry, Plato!
    Medina is the Ideal City

    Sorry, Rome!
    All roads lead to Mecca ♥
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #16 - August 28, 2011, 08:42 AM
    If Medina is the ideal city, why do all roads lead to Mecca? cool2
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #17 - August 29, 2011, 03:49 PM
    "I'll talk to u later, cause i need to break my fast, altough I hope u listen next time and quit coming up with stupid comebacks that has science in them....
    Salaam"

    "Ok first before you start attempting to make me see sense, let me tell you that approach wont help."
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #18 - August 29, 2011, 04:00 PM
    Quote from: osmanthus on August 28, 2011, 08:42 AM
    If Medina is the ideal city, why do all roads lead to Mecca? cool2


    Because i believe, both is true Wink
    Little Fly, Thy summer's play
    My thoughtless hand has brushed away.

    I too dance and drink, and sing,
    Till some blind hand shall brush my wing.

    Therefore I am a happy fly,
    If I live or if I die.
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #19 - August 29, 2011, 04:14 PM
    "Evolution is just a theory!"

    Have you heard the good news? There is no God!
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #20 - August 29, 2011, 08:06 PM
    Quote from: harakaat on August 23, 2011, 06:39 PM
    Post your favorite WTF quotes that you come across in daily life! On Facebook, YouTube, blogs... Fundies just say the darndest things!

    I'll start with something I just saw on Facebook:

    "He [Richard Dawkins] claims to be a scientist yet he fails to find God through his science, which is so obvious to see, what with the Big Bang and failure of evolution and all. That is because incomplete knowledge of science makes one an atheist and complete knowledge of it makes one a Muslim."

    (NOTE: inspiration from www.fstdt.com)


     Cheesy   Cheesy
    Teach us to care and not to care / Teach us to sit still.
    What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult to each other
    You are the music while the music lasts.
    T.S.Eliot
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #21 - August 29, 2011, 08:50 PM
    http://www.democracyforum.co.uk/bnp/86007-thats-ive-decided-islam-me.html

    LMAO
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #22 - August 29, 2011, 10:17 PM
    Quote from: harakaat on August 29, 2011, 03:49 PM
    "Ok first before you start attempting to make me see sense, let me tell you that approach wont help."

    That one really does sum up all fundies.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #23 - August 30, 2011, 02:49 PM
    Quote
    Mashallah Hamza you have increased my Iman with your statement. Science is a weapon of Shaytaan to lead humanity astray. Atheists will all burn in hell for eternity. May Allah give the muslim Jannat-al-firdous.
    This life after all is a test for the afterlife. May Allah make muslims care more about the afterlife than this one. Ameen.[quote/]


    from Hamza's recent facebook update:

    https://www.facebook.com/HamzaAndreasTzortzis/posts/274458562564585

    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #24 - August 30, 2011, 06:05 PM
    Wow to think people say those things are more depressing than funny to me. It's kinda ironic since infidels and science is thing that ultimately created the internet and facebook which they use. In fact many of the things Muslims use to make their lives more comfortable today were made from kufrs worldwide.
    ***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #25 - August 30, 2011, 06:36 PM
    Quote from: clarap on August 30, 2011, 02:49 PM
    Quote
    Mashallah Hamza you have increased my Iman with your statement. Science is a weapon of Shaytaan to lead humanity astray. Atheists will all burn in hell for eternity. May Allah give the muslim Jannat-al-firdous.
    This life after all is a test for the afterlife. May Allah make muslims care more about the afterlife than this one. Ameen.[quote/]




    from Hamza's recent facebook update:

    https://www.facebook.com/HamzaAndreasTzortzis/posts/274458562564585


    That is just a joke from non believer - a troll

    Little Fly, Thy summer's play
    My thoughtless hand has brushed away.

    I too dance and drink, and sing,
    Till some blind hand shall brush my wing.

    Therefore I am a happy fly,
    If I live or if I die.
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #26 - September 10, 2011, 08:19 PM
    From an Islamic forum:

    Quote
    Remember Allah will pay us in full, paradise, because we have decided to SUBMIT even though we could not understand everything. "We hear and obey". Not "we hear and then debate and then try to reason then think about it more .. then check what period of life are we in .. and so on and on "

    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #27 - September 10, 2011, 09:59 PM
    From an Arabic forum, on a thread entitled "Is the atheist stupid or am I just delusional?"

    A reply:

    "ياسيدي الفاضل اليس الملحد يؤمن بنظرية التطور التي تقول ان الانسان يرجع فصيله الاول الى قرد
    فكيف تريد من قرد ان يكون ذكي"

    Translation: "My dear friend, does the atheist not believe in the theory of evolution which says that man evolved from a monkey? How do you want a monkey to be smart!"
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #28 - September 10, 2011, 10:02 PM
    Also, for those who read Arabic, this is just epic:

    http://www.masyafy.net/vb/thread9444
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
     Reply #29 - September 10, 2011, 10:16 PM
    Debating, or should I say banging my head against a brick wall on an Islamic forum, I was met with the response 'we don't need your western system of logic'.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
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