Light-hearted "parables"

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- Chris W
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Light-hearted "parables"
OP - September 28, 2011, 09:31 AM

A king was beset by problems but no satisfactory answers. His advisers were just as perplexed. One adviser said "There's a wise man in a nearby village who finds answers to all the villagers problems. Maybe he can help. But he spends all his time helping others so he relies on charitable gifts to live,"
The king says "We'll visit him tomorrow. And we'll take him ten bags of the finest flour."
Next day they arrive and the Wise Man's wife answers the door. "Tell your husband we have brought him a gift of ten bags of flour." The wife goes inside but returns shortly to say "I'm sorry but my husband says he cannot accept your gift."
"Why noy?" asks the king. "Does he want more? Is it not fine enough?"
"No, it's not that," replies the wife. "But he's looked in the cupboard and he says we have enough flour for today."
- Chris W
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Re: Light-hearted "parables"
Reply #1 - September 28, 2011, 09:40 AM

A Muslim is in the queue at the gates of Heaven when he sees a man he knew from another village who had died some years before; standing outside the gates of Hell, having a cigarette. The Muslim walks over to him and starts to chat.
The man says,"We had a revelous time in our village. We'd get drunk every night, sleep with anyone we wanted, we did anything we felt like. But then we all caught the dreaded Elbow Disease. Our arms locked out straight, we couldn't bend them to feed ourselves and we all starved to death."
The Muslim says, "My village also caught the Elbow Disease. We couldn't bend our arms to feed ourselves. So we fed each other."
- Kodanshi
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Re: Light-hearted "parables"
Reply #2 - September 28, 2011, 10:32 PM

Sorry, just had to get that out of my system.

Carry on, agent.
- Chris W
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Re: Light-hearted "parables"
Reply #3 - October 02, 2011, 12:54 PM

I suppose this symbolises how sick you are. When they circumcised you, they threw the wrong end away!
- Kodanshi
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Re: Light-hearted "parables"
Reply #4 - October 02, 2011, 01:01 PM

Hey, if the end that remained is good enough for your mother…
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Re: Light-hearted "parables"
Reply #5 - October 03, 2011, 11:41 AM

Who wrote these?

قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
- Chris W
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Re: Light-hearted "parables"
Reply #6 - October 04, 2011, 09:49 AM

Kodanshi, you are homosexual. That's why you left Islam. You thought that ridiculing stories of compassion would make you look macho. It doesn't. You're still a bitter little drama queen. I hope they have sharia law for ex-muslims in your area.
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Re: Light-hearted "parables"
Reply #7 - October 04, 2011, 09:51 AM

You think calling someone a homosexual makes you look macho. It doesn't; it makes you look like a bigot.
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Re: Light-hearted "parables"
Reply #8 - October 04, 2011, 09:56 AM

Quote from: Chris W on October 04, 2011, 09:49 AM
Kodanshi, you are homosexual. That's why you left Islam. You thought that ridiculing stories of compassion would make you look macho. It doesn't. You're still a bitter little drama queen. I hope they have sharia law for ex-muslims in your area.

Well that's extremely compassionate and spiritual of you, Chris. Way to go.

Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West.
- Kodanshi
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Re: Light-hearted "parables"
Reply #9 - October 04, 2011, 06:41 PM

Quote from: Chris W on October 04, 2011, 09:49 AM
Kodanshi, you are homosexual.

I’m not, actually. I have enough problems not getting paki–bashed. I don’t want to add the likelihood of getting gay–bashed to my troubles. At any rate, my sexuality bears no relevance either way.

Quote from: Chris W on October 04, 2011, 09:49 AM
That's why you left Islam.

Wow, thanks for the heads–up. And here’s me thinking I left islam because I realised I didn’t believe in god.

Quote from: Chris W on October 04, 2011, 09:49 AM
You thought that ridiculing stories of compassion would make you look macho.

Thanks for telling me my own mind. How could I know my own thoughts if you weren’t there to tell me?!

Quote from: Chris W on October 04, 2011, 09:49 AM
It doesn't. You're still a bitter little drama queen.

O the terrible torment!

Quote from: Chris W on October 04, 2011, 09:49 AM
I hope they have sharia law for ex-muslims in your area.

Over a few harmless comments online? Wow, very compassionate. You’re a real credit to the mother who raised you. Bet she’s extremely proud.

By the way, what does the ‘W’ in your name stand for? ‘Wankpellet’?
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