Phew! I thought you were going to ask me when did I stop beating up my girlfriend.
What you do in your bedroom is none of my business
Do you believe that there is no coercive element in the pressures, atmospherics and dynamics and drive towards sharia arbitration? I believe that it is disingenuous (to be polite) to say there is none. I'd even say its a strange turn to be aggrieved by the discussion of that.
My understanding of arbitration is that for two parties to undergo it, both must agree, in writing. Now while I think anyone who willingly agrees would be acting foolishly - the results of arbitration are legally enforcable by civil courts - the choice is surely theirs to make, and second-guessing why they made the choice (other than the obvious bit about Muslims preferring to follow Sharia where possible) is going to get very messy very quickly, no? I understand that arbitration still cannot override criminal or family law; mediation (where family law issues might be problematic) is not generally legally enforcable, unless I've gotten this wrong (I don't even play a lawyer on TV, so this is easily possible).
As to this drive and the attached rhetorical question - who leads it? I'm not aggrieved, your curious rhetorical answer notwithstanding.
edited to add:
One of the reasons why I was motivated to bring it up is because my ex-partner had her life wrecked by it, and that affected me too, and it is a significant problem which in this context is about the reluctance of many Islamic institutions to defer to secular law in the matter of marital and domestic governance.
Marital rights are enshrined in law to protect women and men. Circumventing those rights, even by ommission is a major perversion of that precept. That in and of itself is reason enough to address this. Its about protection and provision, not presumption.
I didn't see this as I was typing, sorry. Was your ex-partner using mediation/arbitration, or was the other parent in this equation being a dick and claiming Islamic precedent (if you don't mind my asking)?