Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.

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- Pepe
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Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
OP - November 02, 2011, 09:06 PM

Hello everyone!

Here is my story...

Im new on here and a recent apostate. I converted to Islam back when I was 20 (I'm from a non practicing Hindu Punjabi family) after searching for the "Truth". The bits I liked about Islam I really really liked and believed in and the bits I felt uncomfortable with I swept under the rug or made excuses for... or reinterpreted. At 25 I got married to a young muslim woman and we had a couple of kids. I had also become initiated into a Sufi group which claimed to be a branch of the Chishti Order (I had become disillusioned by the orthodoxy in the local mosques and felt that the Sufis had a more palatable message). Eventually I left the Sufi Order on a bad note because I realised this group was a cult and I refused to fall for all the typical cult control tactics they tried on me. It was this experience that helped me leave Islam too as I realised that most religions are just cults that have a larger following. Religions just find more acceptance over cults because of the amount of time they have been on this earth. Also I got tired of making excuses for practices, beliefs and history which I felt were totally wrong. The more in depth with hadith and Islamic history I got the more I became disillusioned and put off by it. My daughter had also turned 8 years old which is not far from the age Aisha was when Muhammad consumated his marriage with her... how could I ever justify that!?

After 16 years as a muslim I finally came out as an atheist to my wife who was naturally quite upset because she is a believer. Marriage counciling helped a great deal although I didnt think it would. I havnt come out as an apostate to the rest of the world really because that would cause a lot of shit if it got back to her orthodox parents... its more about protecting her from hardship than protecting me from anything.

I found a lot of strength and support watching videos from people like The Rationalizer (Im originally from the Midlands too), Klingschor, Dawkins, Hitchens and ofcourse the CEMB Youtube channel.

Looking back now its mind boggling and hard to believe how I was deluded and brainwashed by religion. I let myself be brainwashed by it... nobody forced it on me. I realise how dangerous religion is because of this. Its hard to believe that at one time I found excuses to justify Muhammad consumating his marriage with Aisha when she was 9. I ignored the slaughter of the Jews and taking their women as captives in Islamic history. I looked the other way when I read of Muhammad's command to kill a person just because he was gay. Its hard to believe that I made excuses to support the death penalty for apostates and now I am one myself. Religion does make good people do and believe evil things.

Now as a non believer and an atheist I do see the light of reason, science, logic and humanity. Religion blinds people to various degrees on all these things. I feel as if I have got my sight back and my world without religion just because more beautiful, wonderous and awesome.

Anyway thats my story in a nutshell. Ahhh bacon! How I missed you!

Baz

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Believe in yourself
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Strike me down and I'll just become another nail in your coffin
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There's such a thing as sheep in wolfs clothing... religious fanatics
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #1 - November 02, 2011, 09:11 PM

Welcome Pepe. Here's your obligatory parrot.

"Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny." - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #2 - November 02, 2011, 09:14 PM

Thanks for the parrot Cheetah I actually have a photo with a cheetah by the way.

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Believe in yourself
-------------------
Strike me down and I'll just become another nail in your coffin
-------------------
There's such a thing as sheep in wolfs clothing... religious fanatics
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #3 - November 02, 2011, 09:20 PM

A warm welcome, Pepe!

Quote
Looking back now its mind boggling and hard to believe how I was deluded and brainwashed by religion.

Ditto. You will find many of us thought and still think this same way.

Quote
I let myself be brainwashed by it... nobody forced it on me.

I was a convert, too. I know exactly how you feel.

Quote
I realise how dangerous religion is because of this. Its hard to believe that at one time I found excuses to justify Muhammad consumating his marriage with Aisha when she was 9. I ignored the slaughter of the Jews and taking their women as captives in Islamic history. I looked the other way when I read of Muhammad's command to kill a person just because he was gay. Its hard to believe that I made excuses to support the death penalty for apostates and now I am one myself. Religion does make good people do and believe evil things.

Isnt it odd, that we, as rational and intelligent people could turn a blind eye to all this shit?
I did too. And I fully know the feeling of wanting to swift kick myself over and over.

I hope you find solace here, and answers to any questions you have. You are in
the company of quite a few who are also in your same situation. You can rant,
vent and have fun to help you function in your daily double life.

Many here in your exact situation, or similar.

Hang in there Pepe, and again, welcome!

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #4 - November 02, 2011, 09:27 PM

Welcome to the forum Pepe!! A very interesting personal journey that is shared by many on here. Hope you enjoy the company of like-minded folk on CEMB
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #5 - November 02, 2011, 09:30 PM

To sanity and freedom!
Truth has become so much like clay these days, imagination is the limit in helping you create whatever forms your biases desire.

The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
Thomas Paine

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #6 - November 02, 2011, 09:36 PM

"we can smell traitors and country haters"

Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
God is Love.
Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #7 - November 02, 2011, 09:40 PM

Welcome Pepe
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #8 - November 02, 2011, 10:25 PM

Good that you kept and enjoy the forum!

Religion is organized superstition
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #9 - November 02, 2011, 11:55 PM

Welcome to the forum.

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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #10 - November 02, 2011, 11:58 PM

Welcome Pepe
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #11 - November 03, 2011, 12:05 AM

fantastic intro... welcome!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9vdUjuWxc
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #12 - November 03, 2011, 07:13 AM

Welcome! Read on the list that you're from Canada. What part?

Good to see so many Canadians on here now, must be something in the water...its causing rationalization!

"Live a good life. If there are god(s) and they are just, you will be rewarded based on virtue. If they're unjust, then you shouldn't want to worship them. If there are no gods, you will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of others."

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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #13 - November 03, 2011, 07:25 AM

From Ottawa. Moved here from England back in 89 when I was 15.

-------------------
Believe in yourself
-------------------
Strike me down and I'll just become another nail in your coffin
-------------------
There's such a thing as sheep in wolfs clothing... religious fanatics
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #14 - November 03, 2011, 12:20 PM

Welcome, friend!

I bloody hate Islam, still bitter about wasting 5 years of my life on this shit. Fuck off Muhammed, fuck off Allah.
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #15 - November 03, 2011, 12:51 PM

How did your family feel when you converted to Islam? As Hindus, did you become alienated from them because they are considered to be pagans / polytheists?

"we can smell traitors and country haters"

Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
God is Love.
Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #16 - November 03, 2011, 01:16 PM

Billy my family was quite supportive of me becoming Muslim actually because my parents were rather spiritual. Also I leaned to the Sufi side spiritually so in a way it made me closer them because we had a lot more to talk about. but then the dogma of Islam and the cult control techniques of this Sufi order tried to drive a wedge between me and my parents. That's where I started cutting it out of my life coz I started seeing through the bullshit really fast. The Sufi group tried to alienate me from my dad even though he was very supportive of me joining the Sufis. I suppose in his mind they were this perfect spiritual groups one respected a lot and didn't realize that this group was a cult. The pressure from the regular Sunni Muslims forced me to change my name to a "Muslim" (anything Pakistani or Arab sounding) in order to marry my fiancé. Her parents wouldn't allow the marriage if I still had the name I was born with. I changed my name back legally to my original a few years ago coz I couldn't fucking stand it any longer when people called me by the fake name I had to take. Plus I lived with the guilt that it really hurt my dad when I disguarded the name he had given me even before I was born.

I think the only people who tried to alienate me from my parents were the Sufis and only because it's a cult tactic to break my attachment to them so they could work on getting me more attached to my Sheikh and the Sufi order he was the head of.

Hawar I was very angry in the beginning as you are. I still am angry but not in a raging way. Raging anger never leads to anything good. There is a calm anger in me now... It is controlled so I can unleash it when and where I need to in defending my rights and the rights of those who are oppressed. Anger is powerful beast and it's much more powerful and helpful when you have control over it than when IT is in control over you.

-------------------
Believe in yourself
-------------------
Strike me down and I'll just become another nail in your coffin
-------------------
There's such a thing as sheep in wolfs clothing... religious fanatics
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #17 - November 03, 2011, 01:34 PM

Quote
I think the only people who tried to alienate me from my parents were the Sufis and only because it's a cult tactic to break my attachment to them so they could work on getting me more attached to my Sheikh and the Sufi order he was the head of.

Thats really generous of you, it speaks of your better nature. But the pressures to change your name to a halal Islamic one was coercive too, and its a part of mainstream Islam when dawah and conversion takes place.

Purify the convert, scorch the earth, burn all bridges, turn him or her against her family, heritage, culture so he or she only has Islam.

I guess you'll recognise the dynamics behind this video - might put you in a bad mood though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=287388vONrs

"we can smell traitors and country haters"

Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
God is Love.
Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #18 - November 03, 2011, 01:53 PM

Quote from: Pepe on November 03, 2011, 01:16 PM
Hawar I was very angry in the beginning as you are. I still am angry but not in a raging way. Raging anger never leads to anything good. There is a calm anger in me now... It is controlled so I can unleash it when and where I need to in defending my rights and the rights of those who are oppressed. Anger is powerful beast and it's much more powerful and helpful when you have control over it than when IT is in control over you.

Great points. Great intro. Welcome Pepe Fellow Canadian, here.

"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #19 - November 03, 2011, 02:06 PM

Billy I don't know whether to feel sorry for that bloke in the video or angry. Human being are so fucking fragile that we can be deluded to believe the most ridiculous things. It's about time we started putting a stop to this and I think we can by promoting critical thinking to the next generation.

I remember a few years after I converted I was at the main masjid in town. Sometimes I just used to go randomly during the week to pray there by myself. Anyway I was introduced to some old fellow with a big orange beard and my Quran teacher told him I was a convert. After a few "Masha Allahs" and "Alhamdulillahs" this orange bearded bloke says "now convert your parents and save them from the hell fire". I gave him a blank stare and walked away. It's that fucked up that someone can tell you your parents are going to hell and you are supposed to agree with them and shake their hand after?! Sod that shit! That was the last time I went into a mosque out of my own desire to. After that is was only for obligatory or cultural things like Jummah prayers sometimes or Eid or funerals etc.

-------------------
Believe in yourself
-------------------
Strike me down and I'll just become another nail in your coffin
-------------------
There's such a thing as sheep in wolfs clothing... religious fanatics
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #20 - November 03, 2011, 02:09 PM

Hello Allat! Fancy a Beaver Tail and a Timmies? Which part of Canada are you from?

-------------------
Believe in yourself
-------------------
Strike me down and I'll just become another nail in your coffin
-------------------
There's such a thing as sheep in wolfs clothing... religious fanatics
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #21 - November 03, 2011, 02:31 PM

Welcome,

I enjoyed reading your story. I'm a convert to apostate too, youtube also provided me with alot of strength and support.

I highly recommend the deconversion story presented by Evid3nc3 on youtube, it's incredible.

An alternative to religion;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #22 - November 03, 2011, 11:32 PM

Quote from: Pepe on November 03, 2011, 02:06 PM
After a few "Masha Allahs" and "Alhamdulillahs" this orange bearded bloke says "now convert your parents and save them from the hell fire".

The psychological mess that creates is immense in converts. Its sadism of a very pure and nasty kind.

Anything that leads people to advocate the tearing asunder of natures only truly pure thing - the love between an individual and their immediate family - is a perversion of nature. I rarely use the word evil for anything and this might sound a petty cause to use it - but in intimate close up I've seen a similar thing happen recurrently, and I do think this is as close to an act of cruelty bordering on something slyly evil as practising dawah spreaders commit. Its horrific. And the worst thing is, its done so casually, without any sense of its horror. A complete moral blind spot and abyss where a conscience should be. When religion does that, its just a horror story.

"we can smell traitors and country haters"

Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
God is Love.
Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #23 - November 04, 2011, 05:03 AM

Welcome

***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #24 - November 04, 2011, 08:41 AM

Congratulations, and welcome to the forum!

I don't come here any more due to unfair moderation.
http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=30785
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #25 - November 04, 2011, 01:22 PM

Welcome to the real brothrhood of humanity.
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #26 - November 04, 2011, 01:27 PM

Thanks everyone

-------------------
Believe in yourself
-------------------
Strike me down and I'll just become another nail in your coffin
-------------------
There's such a thing as sheep in wolfs clothing... religious fanatics
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #27 - November 04, 2011, 08:16 PM

Welcome to the forums Pepe. Very insightful OP, and helps remind me why I could never go back to the delusion that is Islam.

Hope you enjoy the forum, and have a rabbit!

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harakaat, friend, RIP
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #28 - November 05, 2011, 02:21 PM

Pepe....why did you convert to islam what were the things that attracted you ?

Disbelief doesn't justify getting tortured in eternal hell
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Re: Im new here. From a convert to an apostate.
Reply #29 - November 05, 2011, 03:27 PM

His wife!
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