Pepe wrote down some important points .. let me highlight them..
I didn't want to be a raging angry apostate. I didn't want to be someone who gave exmuslims a bad name by my words and actions. I wanted to control the anger I felt at myself and the religion and channel it in a positive way. Listening to you and Hassan has helped me do that.
That is an extremely important point and Pepe is right that Hassan and TheRationalizer doing great job and their tubes helps enormously. So greetings and my good wishes to you Pepe. You said
At 25 I got married to a young muslim woman and we had a couple of kids. I had also become initiated into a Sufi group which claimed to be a branch of the Chishti Order (I had become disillusioned by the orthodoxy in the local mosques and felt that the Sufis had a more palatable message). Eventually I left the Sufi Order on a bad note because I realised this group was a cult and I refused to fall for all the typical cult control tactics they tried on me
I am just curious here., what sufi order did you join (They are dime a dozen around) and how did you get to the point that sufi order was a cult and used control tactics on its members.. What did they do to you??
After 16 years as a muslim I finally came out as an atheist to my wife who was naturally quite upset because she is a believer. Marriage counciling helped a great deal although I didnt think it would. I havnt come out as an apostate to the rest of the world really because that would cause a lot of shit if it got back to her orthodox parents... its more about protecting her from hardship than protecting me from anything.
that is wonderful you did a very nice thing and I am sure it not only helped your wife It must have immensely helped your daughter..
In Muslim world Fatherless daughter's life far harsher than fatherless son.... you wrote to billy
Billy my family was quite supportive of me becoming Muslim actually because my parents were rather spiritual. Also I leaned to the Sufi side spiritually so in a way it made me closer them because we had a lot more to talk about. but then the dogma of Islam and the cult control techniques of this Sufi order tried to drive a wedge between me and my parents.
I am just curious/. you say your parents were spiritual what is there religious background??
Please don't answer the questions if you don't like.. After all Sufism has branched out of Islam just for the lack of spirituality at least at later times I mean 10th 15th century.. Off course it itself turned in to many branches. So the point is, Are your parent were/are spiritual with some religion or without any religion? If they were spiritual what made you to choose Islam for the sake of spirtuality??
Or or.. was Is it simply love towards your girl friend/ later wife who happened to be Muslim??
Hawar I was very angry in the beginning as you are. I still am angry but not in a raging way. Raging anger never leads to anything good. There is a calm anger in me now...
why were you angry what good reasons you had to be angry??
is that because your sufi group?? and You never really read book/sayings of sufis/spirituality from other religious scriptures but blindly joined a group??
When I was 20 I was searching for a meaningful purpose in life. My parents were both quite spiritual so I was influenced by that and attracted to the Sufi path. At the sane time the structure, rules and answers I felt Islam had attracted me to it.
To be honest out if all the religions I looked at it made the most sense to me. Hinduism had no appeal for me neither did Sikhism. I felt Islam had a clear map on how to get to god and make myself a better human being. It did make me a better human being but I realize it's only because I picked and chose what I wanted to believe in.
That is a very interesting point and I believe that is true for many of Non-Muslims specially Pagans/animists or Hindus form different part of the world/cultures joining Islam in 12th to 20th century . We will discuss more on that later
with best wishes
yeezevee