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 Topic: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric

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  • Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     OP - December 07, 2011, 06:27 AM
    This is almost a too low a blow for me (yeah, pun intended)... but it's just too funny not to post here. Cheesy


    Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance
    Manar Ammar | 6 December 2011


    CAIRO: An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

    The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

    He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

    He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.


    Cucumbers are forbidden for women, says Islamic sheikh.

    The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.

    Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

    The opinion has stirred a storm of irony and denouncement among Muslims online, with hundreds of comments mocking the cleric.

    One reader said that these religious “leaders” give Islam “a bad name” and another commented said that he is a “retarded” person and he must quite his post immediately.

    Others called him a seeker of fame, but no official responses from renowned Islamic scholars have been published on the statements.

    source
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #1 - December 07, 2011, 06:32 AM
    Grin

    Quote
    The opinion has stirred a storm of irony and denouncement among Muslims online, with hundreds of comments mocking the cleric.

    Looks like he has received the response he deserves.

    Oh and incidentally, does he also propose to ban cunty foods for men?
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #2 - December 07, 2011, 06:58 AM
    As I posted elsewhere about this story....

    Other food items that I think must be immediately required for only men to handle in the kitchen:

    Bitter gourd
    Eggplants (especially the more penisy ones)
    Carrots
    Pickles
    Hot dogs
    Popsicles
    String cheese

    Also, utensils:
    Soup ladles
    Spatulas
    Pestles
    etc.

    Next time hubby wants eggplant stew or home made banana bread? Just say "sweetie, you know that stuff makes me want to have sex with it." Then let him cook the food and you go trawl the net for some hot carrot on pickle action.

    Or maybe they need to just y'know PUT A FUCKIN BURQA on those whorish cucumbers.

    Quote from: osmanthus on December 07, 2011, 06:32 AM
    Grin
    Looks like he has received the response he deserves.


    Yeah that is nice for a change.

    Quote from: osmanthus on December 07, 2011, 06:32 AM
    Oh and incidentally, does he also propose to ban cunty foods for men?


    Hmmm which ones? Shepherd's pie? Cheesecake? Mangoes? Bagels?
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #3 - December 07, 2011, 07:02 AM
    Quote from: allat on December 07, 2011, 06:58 AM
    Hmmm which ones? Shepherd's pie? Cheesecake? Mangoes? Bagels?

    Well mangoes are rather boobish. They have that sorta lusciousness about them. That has to be bad for men's brains. And anything that is hollow and wet inside would be sorta cunty, right? So that means things like capsicums, or cored apples. The possibilities are endless.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #4 - December 07, 2011, 07:07 AM
     Cheesy

    Well, back to that banana I was about to eat. I am so sinful.
    Rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in.
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #5 - December 07, 2011, 07:27 AM
    Speaking of food and sex, Nigella Lawson was on the teev here last night. Gotta love Nigella. That girl is such a tart.*


    *meaning she'd make a scrumptious, gooey desert.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #6 - December 07, 2011, 11:58 AM
    What is wrong with this folks? wacko
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #7 - December 07, 2011, 12:29 PM
    Maybe looking at bananas and cucumbers makes this Egyptian sheikh crave for a penis but they've never had that effect on me. 
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #8 - December 07, 2011, 12:32 PM
    I love how once again its all about the potential to arouse women, so therefore it should be forbidden, even though it actually MEN who get aroused watching women handle them or eating them.

    Everything that arouses these weak willed men, they flip around and blame on the woman, saying this rule is for her own fucking good because she is so deviant she can't help but think of sex.

    Islamic thinking is so twisted.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #9 - December 07, 2011, 12:34 PM
    Maybe he should ask Allah why he created them in that way.

    Bunch of fucking idiots.
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #10 - December 07, 2011, 12:37 PM
    Men's fingers turn me on.

    I hope someone takes them in the kitchen and cuts those fingers to little pieces, its too tempting seeing fingers everywhere I look.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #11 - December 07, 2011, 01:19 PM
    We should all cut our own fingers off just in case they turn us on.   wacko
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #12 - December 07, 2011, 01:21 PM
    well you need to cut them off anyway since they will tempt you to masturbate. no woman can be trusted with her fingers.
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #13 - December 07, 2011, 01:23 PM
    Well you can't just cut off the fingers and leave a stump there... that could be dangerous too. It would have to mean cutting off all the way up to the arms, and toes because some people are just that flexible. Then men can do all the cooking and cleaning.

    This story is just so mind-blowing (there I go with the fellatio pun again).
    So many things around us... only one place (maybe 2, 3 max) to put them in! Whew, now women can know how men must have felt all these centures.... so helpless, so powerless against so much temptation. We need to put niqabs on everything now, from chopsticks to hairbrushes, to water bottles, not just the food stuff.
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #14 - December 07, 2011, 01:47 PM
    Quote from: allat on December 07, 2011, 06:27 AM
    This is almost a too low a blow for me (yeah, pun intended)... but it's just too funny not to post here. Cheesy


    Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance
    Manar Ammar | 6 December 2011


    CAIRO: An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

    The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

    He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

    He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

    (Clicky for piccy!)
    Cucumbers are forbidden for women, says Islamic sheikh.

    The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.

    Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

    The opinion has stirred a storm of irony and denouncement among Muslims online, with hundreds of comments mocking the cleric.

    One reader said that these religious “leaders” give Islam “a bad name” and another commented said that he is a “retarded” person and he must quite his post immediately.

    Others called him a seeker of fame, but no official responses from renowned Islamic scholars have been published on the statements.

    source

    In Islam, Islamic preachers always   have a chance to become an idiot who is higher idiot than the earlier one.  

    Lucky Muslim women and lucky Muslim girls .. That fellow forgot to add  pens and pencils and fingers....

    Hmm that news clips says  An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said ..

    That rascal is watching too much pornography on internet.. .. Egyptians should apply Sharia law and cut his penis off...
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #15 - December 07, 2011, 02:53 PM
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IINnCX1v4Wc
    19:46   <zizo>: hugs could pimp u into sex

    Quote from: yeezevee
    well I am neither ex-Muslim nor absolute 100% Non-Muslim.. I am fucking Zebra

  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #16 - December 07, 2011, 05:49 PM
    Women should avoid looking at buildings with a column entrance... dance
    Religion is organized superstition
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #17 - December 07, 2011, 06:05 PM
    Quote from: Hallakuf on December 07, 2011, 05:49 PM
    Women should avoid looking at buildings with a column entrance... dance




    Yap all those vegetables and the Mosques minars  must be covered with Burkha so women folks don't see those things and get  Penisy things in to their brain..

    what a word  Penisy things...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3JBxctgHF8

    LOOK AT THAT RASCAL. .Aamir Liaquat such a cunning rascal
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #18 - December 07, 2011, 06:07 PM
    OMG! Women should be kept on miles' distance from this!  dance
    Religion is organized superstition
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #19 - December 07, 2011, 06:14 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on December 07, 2011, 12:32 PM
    it actually MEN who get aroused watching women handle them or eating them.

    Everything that arouses these weak willed men


    Eat a banana and video it for me.
    fuck you
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #20 - December 07, 2011, 06:51 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on December 07, 2011, 12:37 PM
    Men's fingers turn me on.


    I have two long slender and ridiculous middle fingers
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #21 - December 07, 2011, 07:53 PM
    Mine are better.
    fuck you
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #22 - December 07, 2011, 07:55 PM
    Quote from: allat on December 07, 2011, 01:23 PM
    We need to put niqabs on everything now, from chopsticks to hairbrushes, to water bottles, not just the food stuff.

    Sounds like the Victorian English obsession with legs (on furniture).
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #23 - December 07, 2011, 08:09 PM
    Quote from: osmanthus on December 07, 2011, 07:55 PM
    Sounds like the Victorian English obsession with legs (on furniture).


    That is very true... hmmmmm... (gosh I hope on the one hand that this is all a fake story, and on the second that it is not because it is just so textured and entertaining, and on the third I am holding a cucumber). I like your theory. So, this "unnamed" cleric has basically gone a bit Queen Victoria on the Islamic psyche... so that means that the proverbial "dark ages" that Islam's supposedly been going through are possibly, maybe, just maybe, drawing to an end? Makes ya think, huh.
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #24 - December 07, 2011, 08:13 PM
    Quote from: allat on December 07, 2011, 08:09 PM
    ... (gosh I hope on the one hand that this is all a fake story, and on the second that it is not because it is just so textured and entertaining, and on the third I am holding a cucumber)

    Grin


    Quote
    I like your theory. So, this "unnamed" cleric has basically gone a bit Queen Victoria on the Islamic psyche... so that means that the proverbial "dark ages" that Islam's supposedly been going through are possibly, maybe, just maybe, drawing to an end? Makes ya think, huh.

    Well you'd have to go through two more world wars, if you want to use that analogy. Tongue
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #25 - December 07, 2011, 08:50 PM
    The burqa on the phallic objects could be deemed to depict a condom!!
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #26 - December 07, 2011, 08:58 PM
    What about married women? Are they allowed to touch penis–like foods because they’ve, you know, already had the penisy things inside them?
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #27 - December 07, 2011, 09:00 PM
    No. That would be adulterous. They should only touch such things if attached to their husbands.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #28 - December 07, 2011, 09:36 PM
    Quote from: osmanthus on December 07, 2011, 07:02 AM
    Well mangoes are rather boobish. They have that sorta lusciousness about them. That has to be bad for men's brains. And anything that is hollow and wet inside would be sorta cunty, right? So that means things like capsicums, or cored apples. The possibilities are endless.


     a choice to nominate Moderators or Administrators as JOTM or POTM need to be reconsidered:D Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy


    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Penisy foods banned for women to use, says "unnamed" cleric
     Reply #29 - December 07, 2011, 09:41 PM
    Quote from: osmanthus on December 07, 2011, 08:13 PM
    Grin

    Well you'd have to go through two more world wars, if you want to use that analogy. Tongue


    Ahmmm Yeah no, scratch that.... I guess we'll have to find another meaningless and irrelevant anal-ogy to explain the complexities of the world to our monkey brain.


    On another note, there is now a Facebook page dedicated to preservation of the cucumber in light of this threat posed by Sheikh Voldemort to what I found out is actually a fruit, not a vegetable.

    Ohhh My Cucumber - on teh facebook


    Also, here's an interesting video:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmDYj1zduvg
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
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