Welcome Walshark. It's an interesting position you are in, with your gf. Has she expressed doubts about religion to you? Good to know you are taking the third approach as that is likely to bring you closer to the lived realities of most muslims and ex-muslims.
Well, she doesn't so much directly come to me with doubts but rather sometimes in our discussions I know that she is a bit uncomfortable with some things. Also, I used to ask her a lot of questions that she couldn't come up with answers to. She hasn't prayed at home in over a month or two now, even though in public she still prays if she is in a group with her friends and they all pray.
Sometimes just when I think she is about to crack I see that she is looking on ebay to buy more abayas, so I don't know! She wears the hijab and abaya because she likes the style and thinks it looks pretty.
It is kind of a very difficult position for me to be in sometimes, and I'm sure it isn't all too easy for her either. In one way I am very much opposed to all she stands for but I also want her to make her own choices based on her understanding. Which is why I only talk with her, I don't tell her to deconvert or anything like that. I also don't want to absolutely crash her whole (for a lack of better word) fantasy, make her question herself and her identity and most of all feel like an idiot. I've noticed she is much more receptive to short simple discussions rather than when I lose control and give her a khutba of contradictions, logical fallacies, and other such things.
Sorry for the long post.
Welcome! Very interesting first post
You sound like you'd fit right in here.
Oh, every newbie gets a parrot that you are required to carry around on your shoulder. So here ya go
Yay, parrot!
Welcome!
Would you expand?
Of course.
I don't think I need to specify that I don't mean to imply all Muslims are hypocrites or are in any way predisposed being so. I also haven't kept note of everything I observe, so sorry in advance for letting you down if this isn't too interesting!
Just some few examples:
Zealously telling non muslims that the hijab is in all possible ways a personal choice; but then in "private" the hijab is mandatory, sisters are interrogated why they don't wear it, husbands getting ridiculed for letting their wife go uncovered, etc..
Picking and choosing which direct commands to follow; for example you will enver see a Muslim intentionally eat pork, but some will drink, some will gamble, some don't wear hijab. As far as I know, there is no hiearchy of importance of quranic commands inherently found in the Quran.
Systematically turning to tafsirs, scholars, and hadiths to determine intricacies of daily life. But systematically rejecting and questioning them when the person would rather do something else.
The absolute and painfully obvious lack of knowledge that most average people hold about their religion. They have all the dawah slogans memorized but anything past that is some strange void filled with random "hadith of the day" culture, and conjecture.
EDIT:
These just came to mind after I finished the post:
Going on a humanitarian tirade when someone used actions of a Muslim or group of Muslims in an argument about Islam, saying how the person isn't defining the religion (we all know the speech so I don't need go to into it) But then, find a Muslim that does something good (even though it may not be based on any Islamic principle)? THAT is Islam, the whole religion becomes defined by the individual, their single act negates any previous ill committed by any Muslim anywhere at any time. Meanwhile, Christianity is demonized on account of pedophile priests, hypocrite politicians..
Also, If a bad hadith or quranic passages (by today's standard) are brought forward, we're supposed to look the other way and instead look at how modern Muslims live their lives (in spite of the Quran) On the other hand; if we look at what a modern Muslim does (even if in accordance with some of the classical texts) we are told to look the other way and are pointed to the Quran and more specifically, certain verses of the Quran.
hi and welcome...
!! I have watched (as far as I know) all your videos. They are absolutely amazing and have helped me so much to see the humanity in each individual. As well as put a new perspective on the mental and emotional prison many create for themselves while they convince themselves that it is for their own good.
Thank you for all your kind welcomes to everyone that has posted!
Topic: Another new person here