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Theme Changer

 Topic: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim

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  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #120 - June 14, 2012, 12:57 AM
    Quote from: Sakura02 on June 13, 2012, 03:17 PM
    You can do it!  


    Thanks Sakura02, will get back to your message today, yesterday I couldn't think straight and wasn't up to it.  thnkyu
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #121 - June 14, 2012, 04:43 AM
    So fucking annoyed with having seizures, I really want to learn to drive and get a vehicle of some sort. But apparently I won't be allowed to drive until I have been seizure free for 4-5 years and then it's up to RTA as to whether or not they'll allow me to get a license.

    Moan, moan, moan I know.

    Good thing I don't have enough to go out and buy a car, 'cause I'd be really moaning then.  Cheesy

    I've wanted to get one of these:






    Or to get one of these to re-paint up in hippy-style  yes :





    Have wanted to learn to ride a motor-bike and get my own for years. But alas, it would cost too much money for me to justify especially considering the fact that the kids couldn't really get on with me. Not to mention my brother almost died coming off his when he broke his neck, but he's a hoon and loves pushing the limits of vehicles as much as possible, and I think I'd be more like a granny driver than a hoon. Cheesy Silly bugger still hoons around, he likes drag racing. Breaking his neck right up the top vertebrae and ending up in hospital for 6 months didn't teach him anything.  Roll Eyes Crazy kid.

    I'd like to get a hearse too. Then I could do up my make up goth-style and go down the street looking at people really grim and sober. grin12 Tongue

    Bleh, whatever, who knows if I'll ever be seizure free, but maybe I should start saving the money I save when I quit smoking, maybe I should save it all up for one day when I become seizure free for long enough and be able to get and drive (learn to drive) a car.  yes Besides, even if I never get seizure free, if I save up the cigarette money for the next decade, might be able to put down a deposit for a house.  yes  dance

    In the meantime am moaning about something that I wouldn't be able to do this year anyway, due to not having enough money to buy a car and driving lessons being $60 a pop.

    It's probably a good thing I'm off the road anyway, 'cause I'd probably be one of those really annoying granny drivers.  grin12



  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #122 - June 14, 2012, 06:22 AM
    Get a bike. If you have a seizure when fanging it down a mountain road, you'll be dead anyway so you wont give a shit.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #123 - June 14, 2012, 07:32 AM
    Where would I get the license to drive it though? Not allowed to drive 'cause I have PTE... I still have my learners from a few years back, but didn't get it transfered to the state I'm living in now.

    But I could always go bush with a bike and go riding, get someone else to chuck one in the back of a ute and go for it. yes

    Would be fun, unless of course I have a seizure and somehow DON'T die.  Cheesy Imagine what the hospital staff would say then. Shocked
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #124 - June 14, 2012, 07:37 AM
    Seizures can be  very controllable.
    Awful laws you have. Are you sure it is no seizures for three to five years?
    Oh well.
    Start saving. It is good to have goals.
    If at first you succeed...try something harder.

    Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #125 - June 14, 2012, 07:38 AM
    Quote from: Da_Dude on June 14, 2012, 07:32 AM
    Would be fun, unless of course I have a seizure and somehow DON'T die.  Cheesy Imagine what the hospital staff would say then. Shocked

    Well yeah that would be annoying.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #126 - June 14, 2012, 07:42 AM
    Quote from: Lynna on June 14, 2012, 07:37 AM
    Seizures can be  very controllable.
    Awful laws you have. Are you sure it is no seizures for three to five years?
    Oh well.
    Start saving. It is good to have goals.



    I'm pretty sure it's 3 to 5 years, read something about it the other day.

    Quote from: osmanthus on June 14, 2012, 07:38 AM
    Well yeah that would be annoying.


     Tongue
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #127 - June 14, 2012, 07:56 AM
    Quote from: Da_Dude on June 14, 2012, 07:42 AM
    I'm pretty sure it's 3 to 5 years, read something about it the other day.




    I think I live in the state with the worst laws in the US and it is on one year seizure free. The thing is the seizure has to be witnessed so if you never have a witnessed seizure then you don't loose your licence. Humm.... There is away around just about everything.
    If at first you succeed...try something harder.

    Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #128 - June 14, 2012, 08:14 AM
    Wow, that's great that it's such a short period of time there Lynna.

    Just checked out a site that says that it's actually 2 years here, so that is great! dance Better start saving now. Going to drive everywhere!!! dance

    Don't know what the 3-5 years thing was then, maybe I read wrong, have been very tired lately.
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #129 - June 14, 2012, 08:25 AM
    Once you start to drive it can be one of the things you love to hate or hate to love  Cheesy grin12
    If at first you succeed...try something harder.

    Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #130 - June 17, 2012, 11:21 PM
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVFLgx8o7XM&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgYl2AgmAM0

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr-BYVeCv6U&feature=related

    How I'm feeling at the moment. Kinda lost. Kinda trying to find myself. Again, kinda lost.

    Dreams I've had since a small child, rarely have had these since leaving the X:

    Underwater, swimming, swimming towards the surface, but there is glass between me and the surface, can see the blue of the sky, can see the birds flying over above, can see the clouds, but I can't reach the air, keep swimming, swimming, looking for the way out.

    Climbing atop the water tower. I jump off, and fall, fall, fall. Falling forever. Some variations of this dream have me hitting the ground and getting up and climbing the tower again.

    It's the end of the world, absolute chaos everywhere, and I'm walking, walking, walking, trying to find a way to safety. The ground is dirt, the air is filled with dust, and I'm walking with a group of children, trying to find a place where we can be safe. We never find the safe place, we just keep walking.

    I wake up so tired. What does life have in store for me?

  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #131 - June 18, 2012, 03:11 AM
    And this one:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWk7ZivgWbM

  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #132 - June 18, 2012, 03:48 PM

    I suppose a good part of our life is the pursuit of where we fit in. I don't think there is any epiphany moment when it all come clear. It so far for me has been a journey of growth. We all want a place, a group to belong to. Our family to start with. For me that will be forever I suppose at least parts of my family. Then there are our friends. We all at some level seem to long for lasting relationships. We need accomplishment and things to keep our mind active. There is no end to the things we could choose. You seem to have done well in this and have no trouble seeing the world and wanting to know more. Thing is life most the time is just the wonder of the somethings. Most of us don't get to go to the moon so to speak. But we make the effort not to lose sight of the specials of day to day life. The little things our children do. The kindness of a stranger. I wish I could tell you that there will be a time in this system that you will never feel like you are drowning again but if I did it would be a lie. I wish there were guarantees that your life couldn't be devastated in a second but once again if I did it would be a lie.

    The best we can do at the time with what we have is in fact all we can do.

    Be reasonable about where you are and what you are doing. You can't get to your destination without making the journey. So make the journey. Journeys are not all fun and play, part of them is deal of work.

    You have several hard issue to deal with. Don't become to down hearted if it takes sometime. This is normal that it takes sometime as well it is normal to grieve during periods of change.

    Remember the good days. Mark them on your calendar if you need to.

    Remember to dance like a wild woman when ever you can.
     Big hug
    If at first you succeed...try something harder.

    Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #133 - June 18, 2012, 11:19 PM
    Quote from: Lynna on June 18, 2012, 03:48 PM
    I suppose a good part of our life is the pursuit of where we fit in. I don't think there is any epiphany moment when it all come clear. It so far for me has been a journey of growth. We all want a place, a group to belong to. Our family to start with. For me that will be forever I suppose at least parts of my family. Then there are our friends. We all at some level seem to long for lasting relationships. We need accomplishment and things to keep our mind active. There is no end to the things we could choose. You seem to have done well in this and have no trouble seeing the world and wanting to know more. Thing is life most the time is just the wonder of the somethings. Most of us don't get to go to the moon so to speak. But we make the effort not to lose sight of the specials of day to day life. The little things our children do. The kindness of a stranger. I wish I could tell you that there will be a time in this system that you will never feel like you are drowning again but if I did it would be a lie. I wish there were guarantees that your life couldn't be devastated in a second but once again if I did it would be a lie.

    The best we can do at the time with what we have is in fact all we can do.

    Be reasonable about where you are and what you are doing. You can't get to your destination without making the journey. So make the journey. Journeys are not all fun and play, part of them is deal of work.

    You have several hard issue to deal with. Don't become to down hearted if it takes sometime. This is normal that it takes sometime as well it is normal to grieve during periods of change.

    Remember the good days. Mark them on your calendar if you need to.

    Remember to dance like a wild woman when ever you can.
     Big hug



    Thanks Lynna  Afro  hugs
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #134 - June 20, 2012, 02:43 AM
    Reminder: tell the kids again that removing the batteries from the remote controls is npt ok.

    Had two seizures last night. Thank fuck it was only two. Have managed to cut out 1 pack of ciggarettes last week. dance
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #135 - June 20, 2012, 07:49 PM
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U






  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #136 - June 21, 2012, 12:58 AM
    It's been over twenty seven years since I left a man I thought I loved. Or was he a man I loved to hate or hated to love... It has been so many years it seems almost like that other life was just the life of a dear friend I use to know. Humm.... Be that as it may. The video you posted brought back memories as if it had only been yesterday. For one as you with scars so new....well.... I have no doubt cries came from deep with in and the screams were those of a wild thing.

    They say time heals perhaps in ways it does. Coming to terms with our grief I suppose does heal us and let live with ourselves.

    You were a wonderful wife. You know that, never let self doubt or what crazy people tell you make you think other wise.


     Big hug

    Thank you for sharing the beginning of your journey.
    If at first you succeed...try something harder.

    Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #137 - June 21, 2012, 04:16 PM
    @ Da_Dude:  far away hug
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #138 - June 21, 2012, 05:57 PM
    Mohamed: you're a total wanker and you totally ruined my life. I fucking hate you.

    Least you can do now is apologise, and admit that you got quite a few things wrong?
    Hi
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #139 - June 21, 2012, 06:12 PM
    Quote from: Da_Dude on June 20, 2012, 07:49 PM
    snip

    That was heartbreaking. You're so brave and amazing.  far away hug I'm glad you're free of that man.
    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #140 - June 21, 2012, 06:22 PM

    Thanks for sharing that DaDude. Its immensely fearless of you to do so.

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #141 - June 21, 2012, 07:11 PM
    Apologies for my earlier comment da dude. I thought this was a random thread about a broken bird, didnt realise it was your blog.
    Hi
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #142 - June 21, 2012, 09:15 PM
    Quote from: musivore on June 21, 2012, 05:57 PM
    Mohamed: you're a total wanker and you totally ruined my life. I fucking hate you.

    Least you can do now is apologise, and admit that you got quite a few things wrong?


     Huh?
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #143 - June 21, 2012, 09:23 PM
    Sorry Mo, that was me trying to be funny.

    Welcome to the forum btw  Afro
    Hi
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #144 - June 21, 2012, 09:24 PM
    LOL no worries. Thanks for the welcome!
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #145 - June 24, 2012, 09:43 PM
    Thanks Lynna, Chepea, Mohamed, and Billy.  Afro

    And Musivore, that was the weirdest appearance on my blog so far Roll Eyes .
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #146 - June 24, 2012, 09:48 PM
    Sorry da dude. Wanted to read it properly before saying hi... Will do that tonight.
    Hi
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #147 - June 24, 2012, 10:09 PM
    Beauty is all around us, if only we look. In the sky early in the morning before the sun comes up, in the trees that have lost their leaves, in a child's face as they sleep, in the frost covering the lawn, everywhere.

    I'm sitting here looking out the window and the sun is only just now coming up.

    I have so much to do today, so much to organize. I'm excited but at the same time scared. Two big dreams of mine are going to come true in the next month. I found out on Friday and danced and cried and danced and cried. I'm so friggin' excited.  dance One of my dreams that is about to come true, I thought wouldn't get to come true for another 10 years or so, but I did my research and asked around and made some applications, and now me and my babies are going to have our own place to call home very, very soon.  dance dance dance  dance dance dance dance dance dance dance

    The pain in my face is really bad today, not as bad as yesterday, but still bad.

    It's so cold too, had both heaters running all day yesterday and all night, but is still so cold, have to go out and buy a third heater.

    Well I'm off, have so much to do, so much to organize, but it's all so exciting. Life is ever-changing, and it seems to be getting better and better since I left the X. So much better than I ever thought it could be.  dance


  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #148 - June 24, 2012, 10:15 PM
     party! That's awesome. Congrats Da_Dude!    party!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GwjfUFyY6M
  • Re: Broken Birdie Flying - Blog of this Ex-Muslim
     Reply #149 - June 24, 2012, 10:46 PM
    Hi Da_Dude, just read through your story today and it's equal parts heartbreaking and inspirational. Wish you and your children all the best.
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