Re: Self love
Reply #15 - August 20, 2012, 02:03 PM
Also I have to add, I think self-love and confidence, acceptance comes from simply forgetting yourself. Just forget the 'me' thoughts. I think it's a selfish/centred way of thinking which leads to the self-hate, that doesn't make someone a bad person, we're all self-centred to different degrees, but the less you focus on yourself the better you will feel. I think as ex-muslims too, the fact that you had to examine yourself, your beliefs, actions etc closely to then leave Islam already trains one to think from an internal focus for a lot of exxies.
When you're also sheltered so much, you naturally self focus more, than external (when there isn't much of an external world for you to look to). Trying to remove yourself from that perspective that takes experience. Not being afraid of being more open and allowing yourself to absorb from other positive people. Trust people. Trust yourself to be capable of distinguishing between the good and bad people in your life, which becomes a better skill with more social experiences, and how you handle them.
Don't think about yourself, think of things to do, experience, things to learn, people to help and soon you just feel comfortable with yourself and happy, you naturally become yourself.
For years I've felt 'lost' and trying to figure out who-am-I as a person etc, having low self esteem, but I've become more confident by just living life, that's what I needed all along (but of course being an ex-muslim and all, my primary need was to have my freedom, before I could begin to truly experience life, take control).
For those who have the freedom, yet still feel down about yourself, just forget yourself, forget expectations of meeting certain conditions before you can 'be someone'. You are a someone already. Choose to enjoy life, even if it's not ideal, think of at least one thing to feel grateful and happy about a day.
I would highly recommend a book that Cato told me about, '7 habits of highly effective people' It talks about circles of influences and how to maximise your control of your life and all other things. It's a good book, starts off a bit slow, but once you get into it and he talks more general rules etc it's very good.
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl
'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
Topic: Self love