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Theme Changer

 Topic: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people

 (Read 6509 times)
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     OP - July 29, 2012, 05:33 PM
    Hi everyone,

    I have officially been an ex-Muslim for just over 4 years now, I don't regret my decision and it has definitely given me a sense of freedom and accomplishment. I started realizing I didn't agree with a lot of Islamic (and cultural) views from a young age. It's been super difficult for my family to understand why I don't want to be Muslim and even now they're probably waiting for this 'phase' to be over and change the error of my ways. They can't understand why I would want to leave and try to justify due to my negative upbringing, living in the west, the lifestyle i want to lead etc. Although they'll never admit it's because I read the Qur'an in English and decided i didn't like what  i read and the stories I was being told. Luckily I don't live at home anymore  Smiley

    I have found that generally when I talk to people who are Muslim, I'll get on with them and they'll seem to like me, as soon as I tell them I'm not Muslim anymore, they're not interested. Even people my age who were born and bred in the UK and are none-practicing (and also do the usual drink/party/eat non-halal etc) will be a bit shocked and not speak to me again. I'll also get preached at, quoted the Qur'an, told that Islam is a very peaceful religion and that i don't understand it, and how I'm still young and I'll change my mind when I get older, an older Muslim guy at my old work even told a new employee (Asian girl) that I hadn't met not to talk to me because apparently I'm a really bad person who ran away from home and left Islam.

    Obviously I have friends who share similar lifestyle and views to mine. But I've got to the point where I'm confident with myself and would like to meet other people who have left Islam since there will be an understanding of the difficulties of leaving Islam and a culture and basically feel more positive about the whole thing.

    Thanks for hearing me out, I look forward to being part of this site  Roll Eyes
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #1 - July 29, 2012, 05:51 PM

    Hello, good to have you here  Smiley
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #2 - July 29, 2012, 06:18 PM
    welcome autumn, like your avatar  Smiley
    i think you'll like this place
    ''we are morally and philisophically in the best position to win the league'' - Arsene Wenger
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #3 - July 29, 2012, 06:28 PM
    hi and welcome  Smiley
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9vdUjuWxc
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #4 - July 29, 2012, 06:34 PM
    .
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #5 - July 29, 2012, 06:43 PM
    Quote from: Autumn21 on July 29, 2012, 05:33 PM
    Hi everyone,

    I have officially been an ex-Muslim for just over 4 years now, I don't regret my decision and it has definitely given me a sense of freedom and accomplishment. I started realizing I didn't agree with a lot of Islamic (and cultural) views from a young age. It's been super difficult for my family to understand why I don't want to be Muslim and even now they're probably waiting for this 'phase' to be over and change the error of my ways. They can't understand why I would want to leave and try to justify due to my negative upbringing, living in the west, the lifestyle i want to lead etc. Although they'll never admit it's because I read the Qur'an in English and decided i didn't like what  i read and the stories I was being told. Luckily I don't live at home anymore  Smiley

    I have found that generally when I talk to people who are Muslim, I'll get on with them and they'll seem to like me, as soon as I tell them I'm not Muslim anymore, they're not interested. Even people my age who were born and bred in the UK and are none-practicing (and also do the usual drink/party/eat non-halal etc) will be a bit shocked and not speak to me again. I'll also get preached at, quoted the Qur'an, told that Islam is a very peaceful religion and that i don't understand it, and how I'm still young and I'll change my mind when I get older, an older Muslim guy at my old work even told a new employee (Asian girl) that I hadn't met not to talk to me because apparently I'm a really bad person who ran away from home and left Islam.

    Obviously I have friends who share similar lifestyle and views to mine. But I've got to the point where I'm confident with myself and would like to meet other people who have left Islam since there will be an understanding of the difficulties of leaving Islam and a culture and basically feel more positive about the whole thing.

    Thanks for hearing me out, I look forward to being part of this site  Roll Eyes


    4 years out of Islam, that should make it year 2008, right? Congratulation. I observe that people who left Islam may have left the whole culture and adopted a new culture. Be careful not to fall into the trap of another evil culture. The saying goes, jump from crocodile's mouth and landed into the shark's jaw.

    Just be like Wafa Sultan who stated: "I am a cultural Muslim".
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #6 - July 29, 2012, 06:58 PM
    Quote from: Shinsengumi on July 29, 2012, 06:43 PM

    . The saying goes, jump from crocodile's mouth and landed into the shark's jaw.

     


    Lmao Some people prefer crocodiles,others prefer sharks so what ? It's a choice nature offers  people to become a part of the food chain.  Tongue


    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #7 - July 29, 2012, 07:36 PM
    Thanks for the replies  Tongue

    I haven't really adopted a new crazy culture, in fact I'm more like in a little safe bubble where I do uni/work stuff, hang out at home and with my partner and small circle of friends. I've tried everything I wanted to when I left home and I've found a happy medium.  Afro

    Quote from: Blade Gunner on July 29, 2012, 06:18 PM
    like your avatar  Smiley


    Thanks, I thought it was pretty sweet too :p I love her style she can be a bit crap though
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #8 - July 29, 2012, 07:40 PM
    Welcome to the forum, have a parrot  parrot
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #9 - July 29, 2012, 07:49 PM
    Welcome to the forum. Enjoy your stay.
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #10 - July 29, 2012, 07:50 PM
    Hello & Welcome.
    I don't call myself an Ex-Muslim, ever. Muslim (albeit a rubbish one, non practicing, cultural etc,) is what I am- whether I like it or not it is part of my identity.
    When truth is hurled against falsehood, falsehood perishes, for falsehood by its nature is bound to perish.
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #11 - July 29, 2012, 07:54 PM
    Welcome!  Afro
    .
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #12 - July 29, 2012, 08:18 PM
    Quote from: Homo Sapien on July 29, 2012, 07:50 PM
    Hello & Welcome.
    I don't call myself an Ex-Muslim, ever. Muslim (albeit a rubbish one, non practicing, cultural etc,) is what I am- whether I like it or not it is part of my identity.


    Cool...well if anyone ever asks me about my faith, I tell them I was brought up as a Muslim but I'm not one anymore. It was a major part of my upbringing and I wouldn't deny that. People are not born with a religion, they're born into a religion, and it can be subject to change. I'm happy to be myself, I don't need to identify with a religion in order to be able to tell someone something about myself.

    The only reason I'm getting a little bit defensive is because other people insult my lack of belief in a religion (e.g. my family) and make it clear that when somebody doesn't have a religion they're a nobody and have no purpose. I find it pretty disrespectful in the same way that Muslims feel disrespected when you say something they don't want to hear.

    Okay. I'm done.  cool2
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #13 - July 29, 2012, 08:49 PM
    Can I just ask, do you live in a densely populated Muslim city? Where there seems to be a fervent following of Islam?
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #14 - July 29, 2012, 10:02 PM
    Nope, and I don't live in the Asian area either. When i was younger I lived up north in England and in east London and moved on to more mixed areas after that.
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #15 - July 29, 2012, 10:10 PM
    Well, I live in Bradford. Full of Muslims. Also I have family here. I need to be mindful.
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #16 - July 30, 2012, 12:16 AM
    Omaar- R u of Arab family origin?
    When truth is hurled against falsehood, falsehood perishes, for falsehood by its nature is bound to perish.
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #17 - July 30, 2012, 01:41 AM
    Quote from: Homo Sapien on July 30, 2012, 12:16 AM
    Omaar- R u of Arab family origin?


    Nope.
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #18 - July 30, 2012, 08:49 AM
    Quote from: Omaar Khayaam on July 29, 2012, 10:10 PM
    Well, I live in Bradford. Full of Muslims. Also I have family here. I need to be mindful.


    I used to live about half an hour from Bradford in a basically Pakistani town, I'm kind of glad I didn't have to spend all my childhood there, I feel like it would have held me back and I'd have to be constantly looking over my shoulder and watch what I was saying.  lipsrsealed
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #19 - July 30, 2012, 09:08 AM
    Oh I see. Let me guess.... Dewsbury or Batley?
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #20 - July 30, 2012, 09:30 AM
    I'll give you a clue, it's near Burnley
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #21 - July 30, 2012, 03:58 PM
    Welcome, Autumn21.
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #22 - July 30, 2012, 05:48 PM
    Quote from: Autumn21 on July 30, 2012, 09:30 AM
    I'll give you a clue, it's near Burnley


    Nelson, Rochdale?
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #23 - July 30, 2012, 06:38 PM
    Yep, the first one Smiley

    Thanks for the warm welcome everyone  grin12
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #24 - July 30, 2012, 06:41 PM
    Nelson isn't that bad is it. Not as bad as Dewsbury, Batley or even Bury.
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #25 - July 30, 2012, 06:46 PM
    Tbh I don't know any of the other areas that well because we moved away and weren't very integrated in our relative circle.

    Anyway, it's not a good pakistani muslim woman's business to gallivant off to all these places you know Tongue but I'm sure all my chavistani cousins hang around there Roll Eyes
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #26 - July 31, 2012, 04:29 AM
    Welcome to the forum Autumn21. Your story is reminiscent of many others here, and I think you'll have no trouble fitting in her. Also, have a welcome rabbit!  bunny
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #27 - July 31, 2012, 05:55 AM
    Hey welcome to the forum. I think you're very brave that you can tell others you're not muslim. I would assume your parents already know? How did they take it?

    COEM is full of understanding and nice people I'm sure one if not many will help you out.
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #28 - July 31, 2012, 01:59 PM
    Thanks very much, my family already knows. My mum is still kind of ignorant to it and tells me that I'll always be Muslim whether I like it or not because I was born as one. My step-dad was kind of shocked but didn't say much because we don't talk (I don't know my dad). My sister was also surprised and doesn't really understand why. They're all really against the idea but they know I'm not actually a bad person, I keep in touch on the phone and it's not spoken about. They try to justify it in their minds by deciding it's because I might have had a bad experience with religion as a child or the fact I hang out with non-muslim people. Luckily, I didn't have to deal with any physical/face to face consequences because I told them on the phone after I had left home  grin12

    I think they would prefer it if i kept my mouth shut and just say I'm Muslim to keep everyone happy. They don't understand why I actually have to say out loud that I'm not Muslim. Thing is, I hate lying and pretending to be someone of not, I'm tired of doing shit for other people's happiness and keeping secrets.
  • Re: Looking forward to meeting like-minded people
     Reply #29 - August 01, 2012, 12:27 PM
    Quote
    My mum is still kind of ignorant to it and tells me that I'll always be Muslim whether I like it or not because I was born as one.


    Muslims tend to believe that only Islam is the non changeable, immutable and eternal identity for humanity. After all, Islam insists that every other religious or non religious identity can change, because they can, and are expected to convert (using that egregious term 'revert') to Islam.

    But you can never stop being a Muslim. A lot of presumption and attitude (and chauvinism) is contained in that idea.
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »