Hello everyone - confused about 'status'

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- shnx045
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Hello everyone - confused about 'status'
OP - January 04, 2013, 02:23 PM

Hi everyone,

Happy New Year

I decided to sign up to this forum to find someone to talk to..basically I'm having (already have?) doubts about Islam..

My story: my family are Christian (non practicing), I converted to Islam when I was 17 because ''it made more sense than Christianity'' tried to practice, be good, wanted to get married, learn Arabic etc.

For a while it worked, then after about 2 years it just became ''stressful'' so I toned it down a bit. When I stopped praying I felt really bad, but needed to for my own sanity.

Now I don't know what to do, how to proceed..part of me still feels bad that I've ''abandoned my deen''

Help, please?
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Reply #1 - January 04, 2013, 02:35 PM

Quote from: shnx045 on January 04, 2013, 02:23 PM
Hi everyone,

Happy New Year

I decided to sign up to this forum to find someone to talk to..basically I'm having (already have?) doubts about Islam..

My story: my family are Christian (non practicing), I converted to Islam when I was 17 because ''it made more sense than Christianity'' tried to practice, be good, wanted to get married, learn Arabic etc.

For a while it worked, then after about 2 years it just became ''stressful'' so I toned it down a bit. When I stopped praying I felt really bad, but needed to for my own sanity.

Now I don't know what to do, how to proceed..part of me still feels bad that I've ''abandoned my deen''

Help, please?

hello shnx045.. So you are now 18? Well May be I could learn something here from you., What stuff of Islam made more sense to you? more than what is there in OT and NT of Christianity?

And how far are you in your quest of learning Arabic? marrying a Muslim guy? and becoming a perfect Muslimah by practicing perfect Deen shnx045?

No no.. you are NOT confused, actually you are going to clear the confusion of many readers. So welcome to CEMB..

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
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Reply #2 - January 04, 2013, 03:04 PM

First of all, welcome to the forum! Many of us here have experienced the same things that you are feeling right now first hand. Do not worry and do not be afraid. What you are feeling now is completely normal. Many of us here were real deal, practicing, praying, fasting, Allah fearing Muslims. When I say we understand what it is like, believe me, we really do.

Islam has so much to say about how perfect it is, and how all doubts are caused by your own sins or by shaytan, so we all know how stressful it can be once you start to realize that Islam might not be as perfect as it claims to be, and that your doubts might not be the product of some personal transgressions or devilish whispers. It can be a scary thought, but in as much as I am able, let me assure you: YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM.

The more that you research, the more that you will realize that Islam is simply not true. What Islam has to say about the formation of the universe, the origin and history of man, our place in the cosmos, and the morals and ethics by which we should conduct ourselves points very much to the fact that it is not of divine origin. And I am personally happy that I now know that.

It may take some time to digest everything that you will take in along your journey, but if your ultimate goal is truth, then truth should have nothing to fear from research. Indeed, it should welcome it.

In the mean time, it will also help you to have the support of people who have been through some of the same things that you have experienced thus far and are likely to experience in the future. The confusion, the fear of jahannam when Islam stops making sense, the fear of rejection from any Muslim friends or family. You are not alone; we've been there too. You'll find this forum to be a great place to research, get advice, rant, or just laugh with like minded people. Also, many of us here can point you in the direction of various resources that helped us along our way.

I personally welcome you to the forum and hope you find it as beneficial as we have. Dive on in, the water here is fine!
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Reply #3 - January 04, 2013, 03:20 PM

Quote from: yeezevee on January 04, 2013, 02:35 PM
hello shnx045.. So you are now 18? Well May be I could learn something here from you., What stuff of Islam made more sense to you? more than what is there in OT and NT of Christianity?

And how far are you in your quest of learning Arabic? marrying a Muslim guy? and becoming a perfect Muslimah by practicing perfect Deen shnx045?

No no.. you are NOT confused, actually you are going to clear the confusion of many readers. So welcome to CEMB..

Thanks for your reply.

I'm 20 now.

I thought Islam made more sense than Christianity when I was younger..now, I'm not so sure. I don't even know how to explain.

Nowadays, it doesn't seem that it's possible to be a ''perfect Muslim'' - when I first converted, it's like..you want to do everything, and get it all right. Does that make sense?

I don't really get how you can say that I'm not confused *shrug* I feel confused, sometimes I dream that I am a ''perfect'' Muslim, then I wake up kinda sad really.
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Reply #4 - January 04, 2013, 03:28 PM

Welcome to the forum

By the way when I was doubting I found the documentaries by Richard Dawkins and his book "The God Delusion" very helpful so u could try checking that out.

In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
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Reply #5 - January 04, 2013, 05:17 PM

Quote from: shnx045 on January 04, 2013, 03:20 PM
Thanks for your reply.

I'm 20 now.

So., 18, 19 and 20.... well you are just 3 year old little Muslimah.,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhbHVEGnYD8

You are just baby talking about Islam shnx045. But That is OK..

Quote
I thought Islam made more sense than Christianity when I was younger..now, I'm not so sure. I don't even know how to explain.

Why? why you are not sure? And why you can not explain?

I mean.. so and so things are good in Islam and better than Christianity............Or .. Muslim friends are better and better organized more respectful , live better lives, have better family life than Christian friends, families you know.. etc..etc..., There must be some good reason for you to feel more comfortable in Islam over Christianity. AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT..

Quote
Nowadays, it doesn't seem that it's possible to be a ''perfect Muslim'' - when I first converted, it's like..you want to do everything, and get it all right. Does that make sense?

And why not? What is perfect Muslim in your thinking? Yes you want to do everything perfect but what is not allowing you to be a perfect Muslim? what is stopping you shnx045??

Quote
I don't really get how you can say that I'm not confused *shrug* I feel confused, sometimes I dream that I am a ''perfect'' Muslim, then I wake up kinda sad really.

No ..no you are not confused.. may be the world is confusing you.. may be people around you are confusing you.. Ask me your doubts I will clear it..

with best wishes
yeezevee

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
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Reply #6 - January 04, 2013, 05:26 PM

Yevezee, please stop tormenting newcomers!

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
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Reply #7 - January 04, 2013, 05:33 PM

I'll thank you for your reply yeezevee even though it made me raise an eyebrow. So, thanks for replying.

I've seen that video and it's not funny..dunno if you're trying to take the mick

I can't explain because it makes sense in my head but looks dumb written down. Basically, some of the people who go to church are hypocrites, I thought, maybe in Islam it would be different.

When I went to a mosque for the first time, I felt ''welcomed'' - massive failure on my part for not being able to keep up the lifestyle.

What isn't allowing me to be perfect..my mental state probably. If that got sorted out, perhaps I could do it.
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Reply #8 - January 04, 2013, 06:36 PM

Quote from: shnx045 on January 04, 2013, 05:33 PM
I'll thank you for your reply yeezevee even though it made me raise an eyebrow. So, thanks for replying.

I've seen that video and it's not funny..dunno if you're trying to take the mick

hi shnx045., please feel free to question me .. No ..No I was not trying to take the mick out of you ., I guess that video of that little girl made you to think like that., What all I was trying to imply there was, if you had proper training in Islam since you were a child and if you had mentor like that Arabian news reporter asking you questions about Islam., Sure I would not be surprised if you would have given exactly similar answers as that little girl did. Now let me put two more videos here for you.. One is Ayaan Hirsi Ali when she was 18 year old young lady and other is Cat Stevens who converted in to Islam when she was around 20 or So.. See what they are saying about Rushdie...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NpcCRMhBZY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-wjxwpvqps

Question to you is Were they wrong saying that? Again pleas don't think I am doing this Mikey thing here..

Quote
I can't explain because it makes sense in my head but looks dumb written down. Basically, some of the people who go to church are hypocrites, I thought, maybe in Islam it would be different.

Well people are people everywhere.. hypocrites are hypocrites in every religion You will find good and bad everywhere . See these guys..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfKn2vUiQuc

I am not sure whether you understand the language . Read about him.. He is great guy.. I say He is LIVING MUSLIM SAINT.. and he follows Islam the way he understands it.

And see this guy A.R. Rahman of India

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZ-O5K6ssII
He converted to Islam as an young man and lives strictly as Muslim as he understand Islam

And there are Plenty of people who are wonderful and live as Muslims ., So the question now is., What makes one to convert from one religion to Other religion? It must be some event in life that makes them to do what they do. Could be friends, family member or mentor in church or mosque.. loved one,, that change people views on a given religion. Or it could be plainly Scriptures that one reads carefully which makes better sense to them than that of other religion they were in. So they move from one religion to other. I say every one on this earth must have that freedom.

Again my question is, what made you to take that decision.. PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER if you don't like..

Quote
When I went to a mosque for the first time, I felt ''welcomed'' - massive failure on my part for not being able to keep up the lifestyle.

I see, So it is the people in the mosque, friendly Muslims that made you to think Islam is better than Christianity And on top of it It looks like one big large Ummah family. Right? Again correct me if I am wrong...

Quote
What isn't allowing me to be perfect..my mental state probably. If that got sorted out, perhaps I could do it.

well religions are trying to control the mental state of a person. So yes if you are unable to do control your self and can not follow those rituals then you can not be in that religion. But why worry? there are dime dozen religion ., pick the one you lie or make your own religion shnx045 .

Anyways I am so glad you are reading the forum. Please continue to read and write..

with best wishes
yeezevee

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
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Reply #9 - January 04, 2013, 07:24 PM

[/quote]

Quote from: yeezevee on January 04, 2013, 06:36 PM
And there are Plenty of people who are wonderful and live as Muslims ., So the question now is., What makes one to convert from one religion to Other religion? It must be some event in life that makes them to do what they do. Could be friends, family member or mentor in church or mosque.. loved one,, that change people views on a given religion. Or it could be plainly Scriptures that one reads carefully which makes better sense to them than that of other religion they were in. So they move from one religion to other. I say every one on this earth must have that freedom.

Again my question is, what made you to take that decision.. PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER if you don't like..
I see, So it is the people in the mosque, friendly Muslims that made you to think Islam is better than Christianity And on top of it It looks like one big large Ummah family. Right? Again correct me if I am wrong...

When I was younger, I went online alot..spoke to alot of Muslims, asked questions and they explained about Islam to me..it really did make sense..even got books and watched videos that continued to make sense.

After I converted, it was all good, like I'd got an extended Muslim family, when my own family were against my decision. So yea, when I went to the mosque it was the same kind of feeling, I felt happy.

Religion that makes sense + feeling happy = reason to convert
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Reply #10 - January 04, 2013, 07:35 PM

Quote from: shnx045 on January 04, 2013, 07:24 PM

When I was younger, I went online alot..spoke to alot of Muslims, asked questions and they explained about Islam to me..it really did make sense..even got books and watched videos that continued to make sense.

everything is good but whaaaat? .. now you are older? 17 to 20 is older?? Lol..

That is all good.. so what questions did you ask ?., what Islamic forums did you visit? I too go around quite a bit. You got books? what books? .. please mention some of them and what videos ? .. please give some links..

Quote
After I converted, it was all good, like I'd got an extended Muslim family, when my own family were against my decision. So yea, when I went to the mosque it was the same kind of feeling, I felt happy.

Religion that makes sense + feeling happy = reason to convert

Ok.. that is good., Now what is the problem? why are you so confused about Islam?

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
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Reply #11 - January 04, 2013, 07:54 PM

Quote from: moi on January 04, 2013, 05:26 PM

Yevezee, please stop tormenting newcomers!

I second the motion.
Seriously Yeez, if you can't act normal, stay out of the Introductions board. It's not the Inquisitions board.

Welcome to the forum, shnx045. Sorry about that.

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Reply #12 - January 04, 2013, 07:55 PM

Quote from: moi on January 04, 2013, 05:26 PM

Yevezee, please stop tormenting newcomers!

In other words yezevee if ur going to talk to new members either talk normally or just bugger off please.

In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
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Reply #13 - January 04, 2013, 07:57 PM

^

OSmanthus u posted a few seconds before me so i didn't see ur post.

didn't mean to be repetitive..

In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
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Reply #14 - January 04, 2013, 09:05 PM

Thanks to everyone who welcomed me

Didn't mean to ignore your replies..was a lil bit busy answering questions lol >.<
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Reply #15 - January 04, 2013, 09:23 PM

Quote from: yeezevee on January 04, 2013, 07:35 PM
everything is good but whaaaat? .. now you are older? 17 to 20 is older?? Lol..

That is all good.. so what questions did you ask ?., what Islamic forums did you visit? I too go around quite a bit. You got books? what books? .. please mention some of them and what videos ? .. please give some links..
Ok.. that is good., Now what is the problem? why are you so confused about Islam?

Well yea, I'd say 17 to 20 is older lol..3 years of stuff happening n that.

I used to go onto islamqa ALOT.. (yea it's not a forum) - not going to name the forums

Read books like ''The Ideal Muslimah'' some book about Islam & science that was for newbies (can't remember the name)

Wasn't allowed to bring things to do with Islam into the house so used to hang out at the library alot..if you want names of books, you'll have to take a trip down there

I'm confused about Islam because I've discovered the ''seedy'' side of Islam, when it comes to men..pretending to be all good, when they're really creeps who get enjoyment out of trying to corrupt girls. Also confused because I feel like alot of it is like fairy tales..but I don't like thinking about it like that..
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Reply #16 - January 05, 2013, 02:57 AM

Hmm first welcome

Oh my another one in statistic in the 75% of converts who realize they've been duped by Islam and leave. Though I've never converted, I have a few Muslim friends who say only good things about Islam, and I also use to frequent pro-Islam websites. I just recently finished reading the Quran cover to cover, and it was the most horrifying, depressing, confusing thing I have ever read :/ If you have to read every other book besides the Quran (sent from Allah himself) to convince yourself Islam is the truth then something wrong. If you want proof that Islam is destructive then look at all the countries that are 80% Muslim or more. With the exception of maybe 2 they are all complete shitholes, filled with corruption, killing, poverty, poor education, etc. Then you get moderate Muslims living comfortably in the West, surrounded by a non-Muslim majority, saying how peaceful Islam is and everyone else is doing it wrong and Islam is the way to perfection. bwahahaha best joke Well don't feel bad.

Out of curiosity are you white convert?(sorry if that's rude don't have to answer) If you are, then that would explain why Muslims at the mosque were so eager to welcome you and get you in. Just taking a wild guess, I could be wrong ^_~

To end on a more positive note. It doesn't matter what religion you belong to, so long as you encourage love and peace, not only towards others but for yourself.

***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
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Reply #17 - January 05, 2013, 03:36 AM

Quote from: Sakura02 on January 05, 2013, 02:57 AM
Hmm first welcome

for welcoming me

Quote from: Sakura02 on January 05, 2013, 02:57 AM
Oh my another one in statistic in the 75% of converts who realize they've been duped by Islam and leave. Though I've never converted, I have a few Muslim friends who say only good things about Islam, and I also use to frequent pro-Islam websites.

I remember someone saying that most people who convert realise their mistake within 2 years..was like ''nah, that won't happen'' - looks like it has..
Quote from: Sakura02 on January 05, 2013, 02:57 AM
I just recently finished reading the Quran cover to cover, and it was the most horrifying, depressing, confusing thing I have ever read :/ If you have to read every other book besides the Quran (sent from Allah himself) to convince yourself Islam is the truth then something wrong.

Congrats on actually managing to read the Quran..I tried and was never able to make sense of it..to me, it was like lots of random paragraphs put together dunno if anyone else has that problem.

Quote from: Sakura02 on January 05, 2013, 02:57 AM
Out of curiosity are you white convert?(sorry if that's rude don't have to answer) If you are, then that would explain why Muslims at the mosque were so eager to welcome you and get you in. Just taking a wild guess, I could be wrong ^_~

Hm, I'm mixed race..that isn't exactly unique in my area lol..it's pretty multicultural here..mostly had people come up and ask ''are you arab?'' or ''are you asian?'' coz you really have to be, to be Muslim init?

Quote from: Sakura02 on January 05, 2013, 02:57 AM
To end on a more positive note. It doesn't matter what religion you belong to, so long as you encourage love and peace, not only towards others but for yourself.

I have pretty much decided that I'd like to be a good human being, rather than follow a religion tbh
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Reply #18 - January 05, 2013, 03:54 AM

Oh darn lol I guess I'm not as psychic as I thought lol.
Yeah reading through the Quran wasn't as bad as thought. took me a few months on and off. Spent the entire time highlighting things I liked and didn't like (*GASP blasphemy*). >_>; Quran has a phobia of disbelievers, and loves to threaten with hell every other page, and apparently Mary gives birth to Jesus in a desert... under a date tree... alone... Just saying ^_^ Ironically I would say what any mullah would tell you. Read the Quran yourself ! Then you will understand and see the light I'm going to read the Bible next ;__; soo boring... I'm barely going to make it through the Old Testament. That way if any religious person tries to dawah or any missionary bullshit on me I can be like HEHE >:] I read the whole thing already, haha nice try though. Anyways enough rambling from me Enjoy your stay.

***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
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Reply #19 - January 05, 2013, 10:00 PM

Hi shnx045 and welcome

Quote from: shnx045 on January 04, 2013, 02:23 PM
For a while it worked, then after about 2 years it just became ''stressful'' so I toned it down a bit. When I stopped praying I felt really bad, but needed to for my own sanity.

Now I don't know what to do, how to proceed..part of me still feels bad that I've ''abandoned my deen''

Help, please?

Lacking direction is a natural occurance when one tries to let go of Islam, It's so encompassing and occupies every aspect of your life that life suddenly feels empty.

My advice would be to first trust yourself, your own judgement and ability to think, this is important, alot of religions keep hold of the flock by making people believe they are lacking in themselves.

After this first step you should become a lot more comfortable in studying Islam from an unbiased perspective. Try to remain honest in search of truth and don't feel guilty when people say you are going down a dangerous road or to know the consequences of your actions (hell), these threats keep the unaware and gullible in line. Be brave, learn and explore and I assure you you will feel a lot less stressed out.

Quote from: shnx045 on January 04, 2013, 09:23 PM
I'm confused about Islam because I've discovered the ''seedy'' side of Islam, when it comes to men..pretending to be all good, when they're really creeps who get enjoyment out of trying to corrupt girls. Also confused because I feel like alot of it is like fairy tales..but I don't like thinking about it like that..

That initail confusion is probably due to the one sided account many of converts are fed. The reason you probably find the men to be a lot more creepy is due to Muslim men in general (not all obviously) do not know how to accept women as anything other than their tradition gender roles as played out in Islam. They have a very strict view of what a woman should be and behave like, so even if you go against this a little you will be treated bad.

The fairy tale feeling comes from your non-evidence based acceptance of ideas as fact. Once you get yourself to believe something without evidence/reason its not really that big of a jump to accept ridiculous stories and events as factual.

Let go of presuppositions, trust yourself and be brave, everything will fall in to place and that guilt your feeling will disappear.

Hope this helped
And remember verify and validate everything you read/hear about Islam.

peace
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Reply #20 - January 06, 2013, 02:45 AM

Welcome to the forum shnx045, have a rabbit!

Leaving Islam does feel weird, but the feeling of never having to make Salaat again more than made up for it for me.

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
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Reply #21 - January 06, 2013, 09:38 AM

Welcome to the forum, shnx045.

He's no friend to the friendless
And he's the mother of grief
There's only sorrow for tomorrow
Surely life is too brief
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Reply #22 - January 06, 2013, 02:51 PM

hi and welcome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9vdUjuWxc
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Reply #23 - January 06, 2013, 08:11 PM

Welcome to the forum shnx045.

It is normal to feel confused and uncertain when you are facing a sort of 'crisis' of your beliefs. You don't need to rush into any major decision or feel you have to make a stand or find a label to define yourself straight away.

Take the time to research the explanations behind the various issues that are bothering you. And as you've noticed, there are many here who have experienced the same conflict as you are going through.
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Reply #24 - January 12, 2013, 09:48 PM

e-raja, asbie, Naerys, nesrin and Sir Wankalot for welcoming me.

All the replies on here really make alot of sense
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Reply #25 - January 13, 2013, 05:12 AM

Hey welcome to the forum. I too was a convert like you. I converted at the age of 20 and left after 15 years.

In the beginning I was very attracted by the structure of Islam, the idea of giving zakat, the fasting etc. What really warmed me up to it was the attraction I had to Sufi teachings and music so I went to what I at that time considered the source and inspiration of it. I tried hard to reconcile what my gut and inner voice was saying and what the reality of Islam was. What kept me in it for so long was the hope that there could be this ability to experience the Divine through worship and become a better human being. What kept me in for so long was fear that my doubts were the devil whispering doubt in my ear and that was drilled into me by Surah an Naas. The fear that my understanding was flawed and that "Allah will eventually open my heart" and "the Quran will reveal itself" to me. Eventually I got tired to making excuses for the religion. I started to feel guilty about justifying horrible things in Islam like slavery, women that the right hand possesses, sex with a 9 year old girl. I started reading the books I had from the mosque and Islamic book stores more critically. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I had deluded myself into believing in Islam. It was not what I really hoped it would be. I couldn't ignore the horrible bits anymore and the more I looked into the religion the more I saw.

Bit of a long read but I thought it might help you considering we were both converts at one point.

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Believe in yourself
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There's such a thing as sheep in wolfs clothing... religious fanatics
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