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Theme Changer

 Poll

  • Question: How many when leaving the faith had depression set in
  • No
  • Yes
  • Yes with suicidal thoughts
  • Yes with suicidal tendencies
  • Yes with actually attempting

 Topic: Depression and suicide

 (Read 50610 times)
  • 12 3 ... 5 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Depression and suicide
     OP - January 08, 2013, 11:59 AM
    I know that I had thoughts of killing myself right before I left the faith, which may be my reason for leaving it, anyway I'm very curious if other people had depression/suicidal thoughts on the mind before they left or even after. I only know one other ex Muslim personally and they had thoughts afterwards for being disowned by his family. I am now wondering if this is common or just us two are an anomaly. So if you would vote that would be nice
    Tell people that there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you.

    Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
    - George Carlin
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #1 - January 08, 2013, 02:58 PM
    I only felt said and confused for like a week or two because I went through a minor identity crisis.  Leaving Islam meant I had to rethink my moral values, political views and basically the whole way I saw and perceived the world.


    It's kinda overwhelming but I managed to get over it and got used to thinking for myself.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #2 - January 08, 2013, 03:29 PM
    Leaving Islam drove me to nihilism but not depression or suicide...just  feelings of nothingness.
    "People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis. You can't trust people Jeremy"  - Superhans
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #3 - January 08, 2013, 06:28 PM
    It's nothing to do with Islam, for me.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #4 - January 08, 2013, 06:33 PM
    During my most devout phase, I suffered alot of anxiety because of the psycological threats of damnation and the literal threat of torture for eternity.
    This did reduce a little but not as much when I began to question and explore for answers. During this time their was a feeling of loneliness and fear which did lead to times where I felt hopeless and powerless. This was likely due to people telling me I lack intelligence to understand ideas of Islam that to me were very very basic elementary Ideas which contradicted commen sense and could not hold up to the simplest critique. The mess created by Islamic theologians peddling absurd ideas and modern apologists intentionally skewing facts added to the problem.

    When a lot people around begin to say your wrong and their understanding is right it really does begin to plant doubts in your own ability, This did effect me. Though when I got over this initial hurdle, I started to trust in my own ability and likewise mentally I became a lot more at ease.

    The whole theology feeds off of vunerability and I would not be surprised if a lot people felt times they contemplated that it would be easier to end it. The convienient route however is not always the correct one.

    I also wonder why I feel more charitable, more forgiving, happier, care more about others etc, now that I don't expect reward out of it.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #5 - January 09, 2013, 04:38 AM
    I've been depressed to the point of planning my suicide but it was not due to leaving a religion.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #6 - January 12, 2013, 04:41 AM
    ^ same thing. I've always been depressed because of the society, people, "friends" around me. I've got only 3 persons on this planet that have an actual meaning to my life. They mean a lot to me. As for my family, I don't feel anything anymore. They're just people living under the same roof as me. I'm actually starting to hate them...progessively, lately... while I just used to be indifferent toward them. Now, I just can't stand my family anymore. I can't also stand the person I AM around them. I'm so fake and horrible that I disgust myself....

    I've never said that to anybody, not even my 3 people. But 2 days ago, I was full of stress. I was on my final exams, my mom and my dad were just nasty and annoying to me. And I had to study while I felt depressed and suicidal. I was questioning the meaning of my life and where the hell I was going. So... I just went outside to a store to buy Redbulls. I usually always drink one redbull once a week so I can focus a little bit on my studies. But this time, when I saw the package...I had the urge to drink them all. I knew and I read in the back of the can that I can get a heart attack if I drink more than 2. But it didn't really matter to me. I just drank 8 cans straight. I don't know if I wanted to kill or harm myself, but I wasn't thinking. I was just drinking even though I wasn't thirsty. Drinking and drinking and I wasn't feeling anything. I just wanted to try and see what really would happen. And then while I was drinking I said to me: " What's the big deal if I really died right there? Many people die and we forget about them after a while. " I had this morbid question inside of my head. And to be honest, I still don't feel anything wrong with it. I was really normal. I just drank like I was drinking Coca Cola.

    After a while I felt shaky and anxious, i had palpitations in my stomach. I also felt like my heart was going to collapse inside of me. I had no regrets when I did that. I just went to bed leaving my text books on the desk and I just went to sleep, thinking it would be the best if I died right there. However, I just fell asleep and woke up very nasty. And I still feel disappointed and sad. For a moment, I imagined myself gone and it was a good dream. It would have been a relief from this crazy fucked up life. And now I just can't stop thinking about suicide.
    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #7 - January 12, 2013, 12:16 PM
    Focus on your goals and the positive things in your life, don't give these negative thoughts a second, that's all it takes for your mind to fixate onto those thoughts/feelings and yes it does spiral. Keep yourself busy. Do things for your long-term plan, there are probably some sacrifices you're making right now, but it will get better. Don't take this the wrong way, but you are still young and you have lots of things to look forward to.

    It's incredible how powerful belief is. You can get through a hell of lot of things without too many bruises when you *know* in your gut you will achieve your goals someway or another.
    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #8 - January 12, 2013, 07:16 PM
    ^ What she said

    I find that dwelling on negativity can just lead one to being more depressed than before, I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist but I know a mind is a powerful thing, what you feed to it is what it will give you.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #9 - January 13, 2013, 02:11 AM
    @Fucked:

    Please, please, please, don't self-harm. Seek professional help for your depression. It's a temporary difficult circumstance causing the problem. Grit your teeth for now.

    Plus, eat healthily and exercise regularly. Exercise is a good way of staving off depression.

    Hang in there, hun. far away hug
    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #10 - January 15, 2013, 02:33 AM
    Thanks.  far away hug It's just so hard....most of the time. But I'm seeking help yes. It might be best.
    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #11 - January 15, 2013, 04:44 AM
    If it's really getting that bad maybe you should spend some time in the hospital. I've been on the border of going to the hospital twice but I never actually attempted suicide :(

    I was depressed for somewhat the same reasons though. The people around me all sucked except for one or two and my family just wasn't much to me. My parents and grandparents cared about me but it still didn't stop me from feeling so sad.

    Ultimately I had to basically delete everyone out of my life. I had always used MSN or Skype to talk to people when I was sad, even though them pretending to care usually made me feel worse. Eventually when I was planning my suicide I realized I had to just delete everyone off of it except for a couple people so I wouldn't keep going back to them. Since then I've kind of stabilized but at one point I had another friend who was making me depressed again. She was kind of crazy (super irrational) and our friendship wasn't very healthy but for some reason I didn't realize it for a while. Probably stupid whoremones...
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #12 - January 15, 2013, 12:26 PM
    I can't spend some time in the hospital. It will get me more crazy and my whole life would be crazy than it is already. My parents doesn't understand the concept of "depression" or "deep sadness". They think it's because I'm not pious enough to accept God who can liberate me from all the pain. They just don't get it. They always curse at me because I do things differently from them. And it's just annoying. I just feel like I'm an alien. We have nothing in common and that just depresses me because I wonder if it's really my family that we're talking about. So no hospital for me: i have college to finish, my parent would think i'm some crazy person and they don't want to spread the rumor that i'm crazy. Hehe they have a reputation to hold. finmad

    But I'm sorry to hear that for you. I really understand what you mean. I'll give you my advice that work best for me...for the moment, you should just hang with those 2-3 people in your life. Stop focusing on the others person. Because it brings you nothing but feelings of sadness/depression/nothingness. Just try to focus on those people that makes you feel a little bit better. I wish I could see my boyfriend and my 2 good friends...but my parents don't let me go outside except for college. So I'm grounded and always stuck at home. It's really depressing.

    But then again I dont know... maybe I am wrong of giving you this advice...i understand your suicidal thoughts though. just...maybe...get away from that. i try too.
    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #13 - January 15, 2013, 12:43 PM
    Quote from: Fucked on January 15, 2013, 12:26 PM
    So no hospital for me: i have college to finish

    Me like.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #14 - January 15, 2013, 05:36 PM
    sarcasm?
    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #15 - January 15, 2013, 10:25 PM
    Not even an iota.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #16 - January 15, 2013, 10:35 PM
    I should simply have said that you're doing exactly the right thing by staying in education and out of hospital.

    Good luck. The tide will turn, I'm sure.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #17 - January 15, 2013, 10:48 PM
    That's primarily the reason I didn't go. I didn't want to miss my finals.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #18 - January 16, 2013, 02:47 AM
    Oh okay sorry I thought you were sarcastic about it. Because I think education is fairly more important than any other thing. That's probably one of the only thing that keeps me sane in general because I love what I study. And I feel like I'm doing something concrete with my life.
    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #19 - January 16, 2013, 03:01 AM
    I thought I would feel the same way too and then FUCKING ALGEBRA AND CALCULUS WTF GOD DAMNIT
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #20 - January 16, 2013, 03:11 AM
    Then again... it depends what you study. Calculus and Algebra... bleh!!  Flaming mad I'd get even more depressed....
    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #21 - January 16, 2013, 03:15 AM
    What I really hate is that they're completely useless to my major (computer science).

    Seriously, it sucks more than a hooker with a vacuum.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #22 - January 16, 2013, 01:40 PM
    Quote from: Fucked on January 16, 2013, 03:11 AM
    Calculus and Algebra... bleh!!  Flaming mad I'd get even more depressed....

    Long division is too much for my tiny brain.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #23 - January 16, 2013, 04:33 PM
    Ditto ! ^
    I really admire people that spent their life studying chemistry, physics, calculus, algebra etc...
    to me all those classes are aliens and painful.
    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #24 - January 17, 2013, 01:57 AM
    I wish I had the courage to go through with it. Staying alive wasn't worth it.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #25 - January 17, 2013, 03:08 AM
    Quote from: Aurora on January 17, 2013, 01:57 AM
    I wish I had the courage to go through with it. Staying alive wasn't worth it.


    This.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #26 - January 17, 2013, 04:57 AM
    Quote from: Fucked on January 16, 2013, 04:33 PM
    Ditto ! ^
    I really admire people that spent their life studying chemistry, physics, calculus, algebra etc...
    to me all those classes are aliens and painful.

    I'll raise you 0% in the last Maths exam I ever did. You read that right, 0%.

    And still people doubt me when I claim to be a thicko.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #27 - January 17, 2013, 09:36 AM
    Quote from: Fucked on January 15, 2013, 02:33 AM
    Thanks.  far away hug It's just so hard....most of the time. But I'm seeking help yes. It might be best.

    I should note that my depression was not because i left the religion more because the religion. I'm just noting that if before you left that you were in some type of depression. The reason I ask is because it made me read the Quran more critically and I started noticing verses like 2: 6-7 and 4:55-56 ect. and i started to read dawkins, hitchens, molyneux, on their views on religon, and slowly my faith crumbled over I'd say 2-3 months
    Tell people that there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you.

    Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
    - George Carlin
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #28 - January 17, 2013, 10:13 AM
    Quote from: sethyboy0 on January 15, 2013, 04:44 AM
    Probably stupid whoremones...


    I hope this was a genuine typo?
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Depression and suicide
     Reply #29 - January 17, 2013, 10:19 AM
    I was depressed and suicidal even as a muslim, leaving Islam hasn't added or detracted from those feelings.

    Some days I want nothing more than to find the courage it would take to end my lame and pointless life, and other days the fighter in me refuses to get swamped by those feelings.

    I'm old enough and wise enough now, to wait for the days when the fighter in me takes over, so anytime I feel overwhelmed and suicidal I just hold off until I feel better.

    Leaving the faith if anything opened me up to more days of hope than the misery of Islam that i existed in used to give me.  At least now I can be or do anything I want that I have thought through with my own reasoning.

    I'm not trapped believing that as a woman there are massive limitations on my ambitions, so I have more drive and that keeps me going.

    That and my kids, without them I would have killed myself a long time ago.  They pretty much give me my reason for moving forward.  Where would they be without me?  they'd me muslims, in a fucked up muslim family, with a fucked up stunted muslim life to look forward to. 
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
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