Welcome MB.
I have two ex-Jehovah's Witness friends, and they're great women.
To your friend who you said met a man she likes at the mosque - but since he isn't from the country she's from, her parents won't let her marry him?
Tell her she's mistaken about that. She has options, but the culture Islam cultivates in some families/people (like her parents) is one that restricts to the point of suffocation. It limits beautiful possibilities in this world, and sadly at the cost of people's lives - love lives, reproductive lives, and so on.
She has a choice, but she doesn't realise she does because she is clouded by what her parents are saying - their strong disapproval of bullshit.
And in fact, she could use Islam as justification. Her father is not even allowed to keep her from marrying another Muslim man, according to Islam, for a petty reason such as not being of the same ethnicity. She could use that to her advantage and show the support in the religion for it. But she has to be brave, fight fight fight, and probably be called all sorts of horrible things - a rebel, disrespectful to her parents (they will for sure tell her that if she even THINKS of fighting for what she wants to try to live HER life) etc. She has to take that first step though and stand up for what she wants. It's not easy to do. It goes against the set up the nature of Islam has created in most of us, especially women: being submissive, not questioning, being 'okay' with everything and living a black and white life as opposed to a colorful one.
I say all this because it's a trend I'm seeing lately in Muslim women. It came to my attention a while ago when we had some Turkish women do a guest presentation in one of my uni classes, about Islam. Another student asked something like "Why do we rarely see any Muslim women taking positions of authority or leadership in any community, for any cause such as political, in the mosque, or elsewhere? There doesn't seem to be enough active Muslim women leaders who put themselves out there."
The poor Turkish woman responded that she doesn't know why there aren't many active women, but ensured us that 'it has nothing to do with Islam.'
Well I don't believe that. I think it has everything to do with Islam.
Islam makes women think a certain way, whether they realise it or not. It makes not put ourselves out there as much, for a variety of reasons. It doesn't encourage women being in the front lines.
It fosters an environment where women are less confident, less independent and strong. Instead, they rely on the men in their family - who do all the 'leading' and talking for them. They are so used to that position that they don't even think to step out of it, and take matters into their own hands. They are content.
This is sad for me to realise, because a lot of Muslims believe Islam doesn't do this. It's not explicitly forbidden for women to participate in public activity, however they don't realise that the culture of the religion is not helping them in any way. But of course they don't ... because if they did, the questions and doubts would begin. Le sigh.
Sorry I went O/T here, but I've been particularly interested with this topic and it makes me wish I was a Middle Eastern or Islamic studies major right about now. Or heck, Gender or Women's Issues, so I can write about this.
Topic: Non Ex-Muslim glad to see a site like this.